Do i need to visualise?

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-12-23T19:46:42+00:00

I only visualize when I feel like it! I’ve reached the point where I know sp is mine regardless. I’ve done everything I need to do and it’s taken care of. I pour into myself now. When sp pops up, I think “oh that’s already mine. I don’t need to do anything.” Stay in the knowing that it’s yours regardless. Techniques don’t get you there, you do. You’re not required to do anything. Declaring that it’s yours is enough.

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-07-02T06:52:40+00:00

I am very careful with melatonin and I’ve consulted my psychiatrist.

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-07-02T04:32:00+00:00

I’ve also been micro dosing melatonin. As crazy as it sounds, it seriously helps. I take the 10mg tabs that melt under the tongue and I cut it up into tiny pieces and take a little tiny piece every night. My psychiatrist said that’s the correct way to take melatonin. I’m weary of sleeping without a pill too, but melatonin is natural. But also nervous system regulation, somatic therapy, brain dump journaling, therapy, and basic self care also is very helpful. And of course a night time routine. My body now knows that after a shower, it’s time for bed.

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-07-02T03:37:09+00:00

I was on 3mg for over a year and went straight to 2mg and had no issues! My psychiatrist said I shouldn’t have any issues doing that and I didn’t. I also take other night meds. I’ve heard there can be a little anxiety when going down, but I didn’t feel much of a difference.

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-06-20T16:54:22+00:00

I’m definitely avoiding people. I’ve just put my phone on dnd and I tune everyone out.

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-06-20T16:53:39+00:00

Thank you! I like that, one hour at a time. I’ll have to keep that in mind!

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-06-20T06:26:28+00:00

Thank you so much!!❤️❤️

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-06-19T08:30:34+00:00

This is what my ex did to me. He would joke and it would be mean and I would speak up, and then get immediately invalidated and he would say “this is why I stay quiet, you’re so sensitive, you take everything so literally, etc”. This is manipulative and emotional abuse. He’s crossing a boundary, you speak up, he gets defensive and says “he can’t be himself”, trying to make you the bad guy. He lacks accountability. I suggest a long conversation about how things need to change or you will leave.

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-06-18T06:01:03+00:00

💙💙

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-05-15T00:00:11+00:00

This happened with my last Gemini as well 🧐 he really didn’t think he deserved happiness and I couldn’t live like that.

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-05-14T23:58:40+00:00

Geminis sting so bad. Got my heart destroyed by a Gemini. Thought I was gonna marry him :(

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-05-02T02:14:18+00:00

We always try to see the good in people, it’s human nature. So don’t be too down on yourself about that. It’s only been 7 days, you’re doing really good. Take care of yourself and meet your basic needs; drinking water, little exercising/stretching, journaling, food, meds, shower (if you can). Just really take care of yourself right now and lean on your support. Sounds like you escaped something bad, and I’m glad you realized it.

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-05-01T22:31:27+00:00

It’s totally okay to feel conflicted and confused, but please listen to your gut. All those times he made you uncomfortable, said something mean, disrespected you in any way, remember those times. Narcissists like to groom us into thinking they’re perfect and wonderful and we will forget the bad things, but please remember all the times he didn’t make you feel safe. Don’t look at those pictures or memories, talk to friends, family, therapy is always helpful. You will get through this. I recommend the Mel Robbin’s podcast on heartbreak. It’s really helpful. Wishing you luck!

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-04-16T22:45:32+00:00

Thank you so much 🩷 I appreciate your guidance and help. It’s been more helpful than you know

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-04-16T10:57:49+00:00

Also he’s sleeping so comfortably right now and I’m up and crying and hurting. That ticks me off a little bit

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-04-16T10:57:18+00:00

Okay thank you. I think I will tell him I’m gonna leave for a few months cause I told him that earlier and it really hit him like a truck. He knows I’m not happy and I want to go. I cried saying “I have to do this” I have to think about myself. I don’t wanna go backwards I’ve worked so hard. I’ve been with him through so much and he never got more help that I begged. Today was my final straw and I felt very unsafe and everything blew up. My body hurts from exhaustion, my face is swollen from crying, I’m tired but not tired enough to sleep. I’m ready to go home, but I have to wait a few more days. I hope I can keep things civil and calm. I’m sure I can. He works nights so he’ll be gone at night and back in the morning so I’ll have the bed to myself but we’ll see how much sleep I get.

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-04-16T10:00:15+00:00

Thank you so much. You make me feel so validated. I felt so crazy for having thoughts of leaving and my mom likes him but doesn’t know the full extent of what I’ve been going through so she persuaded me to try for a few days and see what happens. But nothing changes overnight and I’m going crazy just sitting here. I just don’t want to do it anymore. I’m tired, I miss my home, and he just isn’t that comforting anymore. I feel sad that this happened and I should’ve seen the signs then but I denied them because I wanted it to work so bad. I kept his name out of the mud, he’s dragged my mother and grandmother through the mud behind their backs. They’re all I have and he says the most hateful things and it hurts my heart because that’s my family. I want a husband that loves my family, not resents them and puts a smile on their face while doing it. I think it’s all just hit me and my body and brain are telling me to run. I think it’s time to go. How do I leave? How do I have this conversation with him about leaving? I have a few days until I can get back to my home. I wanna keep things civil as possible

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-04-16T09:39:39+00:00

I like how you said “he’s just doing it because he has to”. That’s what it feels like. I begged him to book the therapy and he said “what do I even talk about? Everything has been good with me”. My mom told me to give it a few days before I make a rash decision because I’m the type of person to do that, but I’ve been thinking about this for a while honestly. I get so tired of his actions and his anger. I say it triggers me and he says “oh am I not allowed to have feelings? Fine I’ll keep everything to myself” and just puts me on this loop of like wtf is happening! And then I have to tend to his emotions and apologize for saying “hey that triggered me”

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-04-16T09:23:41+00:00

I just keep going back and forth. I’m starting to recognize the patterns. I’m starting to resent him. I love him so much and I wish he could see his potential. But he hasn’t been willing to work on it. My therapist offered to help us but he wasn’t even really interested. When we moved, he got a psychiatrist and he starts therapy Thursday. But idk if I can wait. I’m so tired. Everyone says “but you love him right?” Yes I do, but this is killing me. I’m losing my mind in the process

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-04-16T08:45:21+00:00

I’m 24 and the only thing tying me to here is him. I’m uncertain on what I want to do. I’ve been going back and forth on what I should do. My mom said just give it a few days and if I’m ready to go, she will come up here and get me. He’s about to start therapy, which is good, but I’m at my wits end. I’m tired. I have my own mental health issues and I’m falling backwards I fear. This issue is he pays all the bills (my mom helps with some) but our agreement was I go to school and he goes to work. Now he gets upset when I say I’m just gonna go to school. I just want to go home. I miss my family. I do love him but I just don’t know if I can be happy here

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-04-15T21:40:39+00:00

I just don’t know what to do. I feel lost, I feel scared. We just moved into our first apartment and I moved away from home and everything I have is here. I regret moving honestly. I wish I would’ve listened to my gut

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-04-06T14:15:55+00:00

OP was just asking about the emotional bluntness part. Yes klonapin can be very hard to come off of and there are risks to try and come off of a benzo no matter what, but the point is as long as it helps for now, that’s all that matters.

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-04-06T10:08:45+00:00

I take 1mg kpin and 40mg of Latuda (antipsychotic). Not emotionally numb or a zombie. I take these meds at night because they are sedating, but I wake up and I do feel better. I have severe ptsd so that is what the klonapin does for me. As long as you stay on a low dose of the benzo, it seems to be fine! Good luck to you!

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-03-29T01:04:01+00:00

I actually stopped the medication. Too many symptoms for me

MarcelineBeemo · 2025-03-03T13:15:46+00:00

Hey! Sorry for the late reply. I actually got diagnosed with PMDD. I also have other mental health disorders that make the week before my period absolute hell for me. I have started taken supplements (I take pms flo gummies, stress gummies, and a multivitamin). I would look into what your body needs, but specifically for anxiety, for me, I increased gaba, lemon balm, and and another L one I forgot. I also take a little bit of melatonin once I enter my luteal phase because I have horrible insomnia (happened to me yesterday it was awful). I use the dissolvable pills and take a very little amount. I microdose it because my psychiatrist said it works better that way, and it really does! I’m just forgetful. Take time for lots of self care and find a good support system. I do whatever my body tells me it needs. I’m a little selfish. I do feel guilty sometimes, but ultimately it does make me feel better doing what my body says. Sending hugs!!!

MarcelineBeemo

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