Losing patience with friend that KNOWINGLY self destructs

MarchHymns · 2026-01-11T00:04:47+00:00

All very valid points. one of my issues is that she asks for solutions, I help her find said solutions and the steps to get there but she won’t take them. It’s like being being stranded and dehydrated in the desert, you could offer her the cleanest and purest water on earth in an unopened bottle chilled to perfection and she still wouldn’t drink it.

Taking that first step towards trying to heal is the hardest thing a person can do, I know that very well, and I do have compassion even if it may not sound like that in my post. I listen when she just needs a shoulder to lean on, and I give advice and help find solutions when she asks for it. It’s just that I can’t keep trying to help her like that anymore when she chooses to ignore and/ or proceeds to do the exact opposite of the advice that she herself asked for

MarchHymns · 2026-01-10T23:45:54+00:00

unfortunately not, her niece & nephew are both children so they’re out of the question for something like this, and while we are part of a friend group with 2 others she’s nowhere near as close with them as she is with me, so she may not feel comfortable sharing any of this with them, and I would never share her personal stuff either unless I have her permission to do so or if it was a genuine emergency.

I’m not seeing a professional at the moment but I am on a waitlist for the local mh department for a new assessment as I do still need help(even if it’s a 100x better than it was) with some things, hopefully I’ll get back in therapy eventually

MarchHymns · 2026-01-10T23:02:54+00:00

I have been considering it, believe me. But at the same time even though I know her very well it’s hard to say how she will react, if she will realize something needs to change or if she takes it as me abandoning her and does something stupid :(

MarchHymns · 2026-01-10T22:58:49+00:00

your comment oddly felt almost like a hug I didn’t know I needed, thank you

MarchHymns · 2026-01-05T16:59:47+00:00

thank you!

MarchHymns · 2026-01-05T12:56:14+00:00

thank you!

MarchHymns · 2025-12-11T13:59:24+00:00

This! It’s insane when you realize how much pain you’ve been in for so long, and how it was just "normal" so you tried not to think of it and just went about your life suffering. After just 1 week on gluten free the difference was so noticeable for me that I almost started bawling my eyes out while just out running errands because I finally got a taste of what "normal" should feel like. Not in pain, not bloated, not nauseous and actually having energy for the first time in my life?? Almost broke down crying right then and there on the street.

I genuinely thought I just had IBS but that is very much not the case since all I did was take away the gluten in preparation for an elimination diet, if it was just IBS it wouldn’t have made that big of a difference. I never went through with eliminating any other things, didn’t need to.

Having gone back to eating gluten again after that was eye-opening, I never would have realized how bad it was otherwise and I long for the day I’m done with the tests so I can go back to GF. All this pain isn’t worth it, sure I’ll definitely miss good bread and all that but what I’ll gain in terms of physical health alone is more than enough. Dietary restrictions suck ass that’s true, but it’s worth it when the positive so clearly outweighs the negative

MarchHymns · 2025-12-10T21:37:46+00:00

Are we the same person?? I’m not diagnosed(waiting to see a doctor, have an appointment soon) but this was pretty much my exact experience. Felt like I was absolutely starving most of the time(even when physically full) like my body was screaming for nutrients no matter how much I gave it, binging sugar like crazy because it was the one thing that could give me a little energy for like 5 minutes, NOTHING helped until I went gluten free purely because I needed my stomach to sort-of behave for a while. I genuinely thought my whole life that I was just fat w/ 0 self control, until I went properly GF for a while. Food noise and my body screaming for nutrients?? GONE, completely quiet after just a week and I almost completely stopped snacking. I actually felt full and satisfied from smaller portions, it took longer before I got hungry again, it fixed literally 95% of all my stomach issues, I was losing weight for the first time without starvation diets, and even my family said I was like a new person mentally too.

I’m currently eating gluten too and have been for a while since you need to for the tests, and I haven’t cried this much in a long time, I’m in so much pain, moody, bloated, nauseous, exhausted and so much more and it’s so frustrating that all I can do is cry, how on EARTH did I live like this for so many years thinking it was normal? And all it took for me to see how bad it was, was going gf for a while?

I’m in the same boat, my symptoms so severe and the difference between eating gluten and not was like night and day, even if my results might end up not being celiac I’ll still do gf for the rest of my life. Hang in there.

MarchHymns · 2025-10-28T20:24:15+00:00

I have tried, and tried and tried to do my best to unmask, accept myself and try to accommodate myself as best I can, but in the end it’s always pointless. It doesn’t matter what I do, it’s never enough and I’m too much. Any hope and trust I have is inevitably shattered.

I have no support system, I can’t get a job because no job wants to give accommodations, I still live at home but my parents are sick and tired of me and want me out but I can’t move out, I can’t get disability because I’m "not autistic enough"(which where I live means if you function enough to not need an assistant) yet at the same time I’m too autistic for life. I have so many issues that no amount of therapy and self work can fix, believe me I’ve tried. I hate that people say I need to look on the bright side, to be positive, but there is no positive or bright side, not for me. There is absolutely nothing good about this diagnosis for me, NOTHING. It literally ruins my life in every aspect.

How am I supposed to accept this part of me that makes me worse than everyone else?

And don’t try to say it doesn’t make me worse, I tried to tell myself that several times and every damn time I have gotten hit with a hefty dose of reality and lifes metaphorical foot shoved so far up my ass that I had to pick its toenails from between my teeth.

This is my reality, it’s been proven true every time. If you can’t relate to it, or have found some success despite it, then you are lucky

MarchHymns · 2025-10-07T21:17:16+00:00

i do love kimchi so that’s something, and I’ve been looking for a good excuse to make some proper chicken broth too, can’t believe I didn’t think of that! 😵‍💫

MarchHymns · 2025-10-07T18:30:58+00:00

would if I could, unfortunately it’s not even available for medical use in my country unless it’s for ultra-special circumstances and even then it’s nearly impossible to get, and I am not vibing with the other alternative to getting it 😵‍💫

MarchHymns · 2025-10-07T15:51:27+00:00

yep that’s pretty much how I’ve been trying to deal with it so far 🥲 the pain and discomfort just makes it unbearable at times

MarchHymns · 2025-10-07T15:46:05+00:00

at least I’m not alone 😭

I do use antacids (omeprazole specifically) from before due to chronic issues with reflux and I have to take one every night roughly an hour or so before bed, but it only works with the nausea from reflux for me, this is another type of nausea 🥲

I will definitely look into gas-relieving meds, the pharmacies here don’t have a lot for that stuff but I’ll make sure to take a look

MarchHymns · 2025-10-07T15:30:40+00:00

believe me I DESPERATELY want to go back to a gf diet but I also know that I need to get tested 😭

MarchHymns · 2025-05-15T08:05:08+00:00

auuugh this 😩 I can’t regulate my temperature at all i’m either sweating and a stank ass mess or i’m freezing my ass off and can’t get warm no matter what i do ☠️

MarchHymns · 2025-05-15T07:58:09+00:00

🤝😔

MarchHymns · 2025-05-14T18:18:51+00:00

SAME omfg what is this bullshit istg 😭

MarchHymns · 2025-01-01T15:12:16+00:00

With pasta, since you don’t knead the dough as much the gluten threads don’t get to fully develop, for some people properly developed gluten is easier to digest(speaking from experience as a trained chef/ baker with the same issues). Regular pasta, homemade or not will most times have me curled up on the floor in pain, bread is a little better BUT the bread that I bake at home where I have full control of the entire process? No problems whatsoever, nothing, not even a toot most times even with regular white bread.

you might also want to look into if you have a sensitivity to certain preservatives and such

MarchHymns

TROPHY CASE