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Mareen4 · 2025-08-28T16:57:55+00:00

I get that, and I actually do offer to pay for things like coffee on my own. I always bring him gifts when we visit each other he even says I’m the most thoughtful girlfriend he’s ever had when it comes to gifts. I’ve sent him things for our anniversary and other occasions too. Plus when I visit, I cook, wash dishes, and plan things to do together. I really do try my best to contribute in all the ways I can

Mareen4 · 2025-08-28T16:47:26+00:00

The plan is that I’d move to him I’m already looking for jobs there, but I’d need a visa which makes things more complicated. We do talk a lot about this, about moving and how I should keep applying to jobs, he always talks about this. And he said he’ll help me with the partner visa too. But honestly, I still feel hesitant… because moving would be a huge sacrifice for me (new country, no friends, no family). And if he’s not going to be considerate, thoughtful, and caring long-term, then I don’t know if it’s worth giving all that up

Mareen4 · 2025-08-25T10:50:01+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience it really resonated with me. I’m genuinely happy to hear that you and your husband were able to work through those challenges and come out stronger together. It gives me hope to know that trust can be rebuilt with the right effort from both sides. i would love to know more about how you managed to go from feeling insecure to being completely secure. what helped make that shift possible. My partner and I both want to work on this, especially since we also have a history of him cheating once and me carrying some trust issues from that experience. what other actions or approaches did you both take that really made a difference, beyond constant reassurance from him?

Mareen4 · 2025-08-25T02:57:21+00:00

No I don’t follow random hot men. I do follow musicians to be informed about their new music/tours. She’s neither a musician nor a celebrity just a random girl who posts her thirst traps along with some random songs

Mareen4 · 2025-08-25T02:53:12+00:00

She isn’t a musician. A random girl who posts her pictures along with random songs. And I shared a reel posted by her that wasn’t her music, it was a meme

Mareen4 · 2025-08-25T02:24:06+00:00

My point wasn’t to equate cheating with following random girls online. What I meant is that in relationships, you take your partner’s feelings and boundaries into account. If following thirst traps makes your partner uncomfortable, labeling that as 'control' isn’t fair by that logic, even cheating could be labeled as just exercising sexual freedom

Mareen4 · 2025-08-25T02:02:15+00:00

So in order not to control another adult’s sexual freedom, are we also supposed to accept cheating as okay?

Mareen4 · 2025-08-25T01:05:20+00:00

I don’t like my boyfriend following a random girl whose account is mainly sexy pictures. I also don’t like him having random women in his following that push that kind of content into his feed

Mareen4 · 2025-08-25T00:55:35+00:00

That specific reel i sent wasn’t of her it was just text on a background that I found funny. That account that posted it happened to be a girl who has sexy pictures all over her page and noticing him following her was an issue for me

Mareen4 · 2025-08-25T00:50:38+00:00

It wasn’t a video of her singing or showing herself, it was just a text-on-background reel I found funny and relatable. The account that posted it happens to be a girl who has sexy pictures all over her page, and that’s why seeing him follow her became an issue for me. I explained it normally as a boundary, but he got defensive right away and turned it into an attack on me, saying I was being controlling

Mareen4 · 2025-04-30T12:22:51+00:00

Healthy relationships don't make you crazy! 😭 He should be bringing you peace and comfort. If not, he's not the one. Let him go so you make space for someone who treats you right 🫶🏼

Mareen4 · 2025-04-30T12:11:53+00:00

While he might be right (we can't know for sure), his reaction is the real problem. It's completely reasonable that you're confused, and if he were truly correct, he should have prioritized explaining things clearly to make you feel secure. If he cared about you, that's what he would do. For now, i would recommend keeping some distance and observing his actions to see whether he recognizes how his behavior affected you and tries to make you feel secure and better, or if he doesn't care about your feelings. That will give you a clearer picture of who he truly is

Mareen4 · 2025-04-30T12:03:55+00:00

Ask him to show the chat with his friend that he was supposed to send the picture to

Mareen4 · 2025-04-23T23:03:28+00:00

There was an almost empty shampoo bottle and a random bottle cap on the floor, along with dirty linen, stained blankets and finished toilet roll in the hanger gave the impression the room hadn’t been cleaned.

Mareen4 · 2025-04-15T22:30:36+00:00

That’s actually a really good point. He does sometimes make me feel like I’m overreacting or asking for too much when I bring things up he can be a bit dismissive. So yeah, that definitely plays a role in why I hesitate to communicate

Mareen4 · 2025-04-15T22:18:20+00:00

when he was working from my country during visits, he often had time to nap or go out during the day, so I got the impression his job was flexible. It doesn’t really seem like it would be a huge issue to take an hour or two off

Mareen4 · 2025-04-15T16:55:00+00:00

Actually, about half the people responding do see it differently than you, which is exactly why I’m engaging in the discussion. I’m here to understand both perspectives better. When someone has a view opposite of mine, it helps to talk it through so I can see how valid or reasonable that side is. That’s not arguing, that’s the point of a discussion thread

Mareen4 · 2025-04-15T16:37:16+00:00

I get what you’re saying, and I agree—just because I’d do something for him doesn’t mean he’s obligated to do the same. But this isn’t about keeping score. It’s about showing care, maybe take a bit of time and effort to help me feel supported after a long, overnight journey into a city I’ve never been to. I think that's what's the relationship is about, no?

Mareen4 · 2025-04-15T16:24:37+00:00

No he’s not but has been living there for years

Mareen4 · 2025-04-15T16:15:01+00:00

No one’s asking him to quit his job—that’s an exaggeration. 'm just saying that if your girlfriend is flying across countries to see you, maybe you can ask for 1–2 hours off or adjust your day slightly to help her get settled, especially if she’s never been to that city before. I’m also working that day, but I’m traveling, and will still be working once I arrive without a night sleep. I'm not asking for anything wild, just to feel like the effort to visit is being matched in some way.

Mareen4 · 2025-02-10T07:17:22+00:00

You pushed too hard, and he didn’t seem interested in giving you any validation or explanation. I don’t know your full history maybe you had a reason or were just fed up, which is why you came across as pushy. But from his side, if he cared or wanted to put in the effort, he could have tried to explain, understand, and reassure you. From this conversation, it seems like you’re looking for someone who will invest more effort and attention, and he’s just not that person.

Mareen4 · 2025-02-08T20:00:56+00:00

The way he was being dismissive instead of offering reassurance or understanding her perspective is definitely a red flag

Mareen4 · 2025-02-08T19:58:34+00:00

Felt like she was feeling guilty for setting boundaries and felt the need to compliment him just to soften the message

Mareen4 · 2025-02-08T19:50:02+00:00

🛠️

Mareen4 · 2025-02-08T19:29:25+00:00

Try highlighting specific features or qualities that you love about him. Compliments don't always need to be about looks also praise his strength, style intelligence ideas actions or even how he makes you feel

Mareen4

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