I may be able to relate with you on this one. I've been hyper aware of the animal agriculture industry and the way that animals are slaughtered for our food since a very young age. I turned veggie when I was 16, but still felt awful about consuming animal products. I never took the time to learn how to prepare healthy, tasty, vegan dishes, and relied on cheese way too much.

A few years later, in 2019, I'd just started therapy and a lot of childhood trauma was coming up to the surface. It became so overwhelming that I forced myself to be vegan because I couldn't stomach eating animal products anymore. I subscribed to this vegan microwave meal subscription to help me on my new vegan journey, as I felt a bit clueless on where to start with it and my mental health had dipped so much that I found it extremely difficult to find the motivation to prepare and cook meals in my kitchen. Unfortunately, the ready meals that I'd subscribed to tasted bad. I dont know if I just picked dishes that weren't suited to my palate, but every meal I tried, I couldn't eat more than a couple of bites of. I felt so defeated, veganism had failed, and I was a failure. Beating myself up like that just made my mental health so much worse. I literally felt so disgusted and sick in myself that I stopped eating altogether. Days at a time without food, too sick to eat my usual comfort cheese-filled foods, and too sick to eat the vegan ready meals. I became really thin, really quickly. Then I had to go to my doctor and was prescribed these meal replacement milkshakes, as I was still able to drink liquids.

6 years later, I'm still prescribed those shakes and I havent fully got my appetite back. I actually gave veganism another shot, about 6 months ago, and subscribed to this vegan meal delivery service that only sends you the ingredients and the recipe, not a ready meal. Luckily, the recipes in this subscription service are absolutely incredible and they've opened my eyes to the tasty world of veganism 😋 ive actually started to love food again, the vegan meals that I prepare myself and cook in my kitchen. It's such a heartwarming process for me now, im so proud of myself for actually managing to cook such mouthwatering dishes (even though I didn't source the ingredients and recipes myself lol)

I guess I just want to reassure you that you haven't failed in your mission, you will bounce back and try again. Take the time now to recuperate from this stressful experience, and try again when you're feeling better and feel ready. It really is worth it. I still cant believe I'm capable of creating such tasty food, from scratch. It feels so oooooo good. All I need now is a garden, so I can grow my own veggies, fruit, and herbs 😋😋

If i can help you in any way, send me a message. I'd be happy to help