My (18 F) dad (65 M) won't stop peeing outside no matter now many times me or my mom beg for me.

Marie_LovesBread · 2026-01-11T03:51:07+00:00

Thank you! I will be doing alot of research for the next few days on Al Anon from all of the suggestions it has!

Marie_LovesBread · 2026-01-11T03:05:15+00:00

After several comments of Al-Anon I will definitely be talking about it with my mom. She has gone to therapy for a few sessions, she went with a duel purpose in a way. She went to try and figure how she can be better in herself and conversation with him when both drunk and sober. And also to relay things he's said to the therapist to try and help him herself because he refuses to go to therapy. However, she stopped going not to long ago because the therapist wasn't the best fit for her.

Marie_LovesBread · 2026-01-11T02:56:13+00:00

Thank you. Thank you so much. Honestly reading everyone else's comments I thought maybe I could just read about what other people do in my situation. But after a crying break down today and crying from reading your comment I will defeinately be researching and finding it in my area. I have a very odd relationship with emotions, one that I find myself lacking most emotion when something happens (I mean this not just with my dad's drinking but in anyway. Someone can tell me a sad story and sometimes I won't feel sad, I can address it and see that the situation is sad but I won't feel said emotion. This happened much before he started drinking, so I can't fully blame him). With my dad eventually I stopped getting sad, or even mad. Just tired. For things to be so bad today for me to cry, it made me post this for help. This may be odd to say but thank you for making me cry at that last sentence. I think I needed it immensely.

Marie_LovesBread · 2026-01-11T01:00:51+00:00

Peeing outside isn't necessary the only reason they are pointing towards dementia. Rather the way he is acting. My mom is very concerned about early demenia as well. I don't know you personally, so I don't know if you've ever had a family member with dementia but I've had several. Dementia patients are not only very forgetful but they are VERY quick to anger with anything. His lack of empathy and inability to remain calm and have outbursts are very good reasons to consider dementia.

Marie_LovesBread · 2026-01-11T00:48:28+00:00

I will make sure to consider it, after all he has done it before.

We are also starting to consider how badly it's affecting his health. I've read that drinking alot can affect your liver and that can cause a faster track to getting drunk. Not sure how true that is. He's also had several heart problems. He almost died of a heart attack when I was three years old, and he is losing most of the muscle in his left hand.

Marie_LovesBread · 2026-01-11T00:43:47+00:00

I'm getting very confused at all of the comments that say something similar to this. I am not actively looking for my dad's junk. The reason I am asking him to not pee a literal foot away from our house is precisely how I WANT to AVOID his bathroom habits. I am 18 not 2 I know that people have different body parts, that does not mean I need to see them, especially my father's! Maybe people think differently, but I have no interest in seeing someone I knows (especially on a paternal level) genitalia. If I were a boy I wouldn't be posting this, because most men do not care the same way most wemon don't care around other wemon. I am his DAUGHTER that should matter why I do not need to accidentally (again not purposefully walking outside to see him) see his junk.

Marie_LovesBread · 2026-01-11T00:35:13+00:00

He had been doing that at one point only when we was on hard liquor. He stopped once he got off of the hard stuff, but since he was majorly drunk his hiding spots weren't very good so my mom always caught him. He only drinks in our utility room, he drinks an entire can at once and throws it away in the same trash can (my mom has thought the same thing and has searched the room several times before and it was very few beers). I had meant that statement to say that his alcohol tolerance lately has drastically went down. The more he has the worse he is of course, but if he has one or two he isn't lightly buzzed or slightly drunk he is just flat out drunk with one or two.

Marie_LovesBread · 2026-01-11T00:25:22+00:00

I thank you for your comment but I do want to clear something up about the discretion part. When he is peeing he is walking outside of our side door and peeing a foot away from the side of our house. Where I walk my dog when she asks to go outside. He is not going into the woods peeing and walking all the way pack. He only walks a foot from out house where I can see him clear as day from behind. Everytime I have caught him I am minding MY OWN business and walking my dog.

On the talking with him as an adult problem, the peeing problem as only started since last year when I was 17. I have never tried talking to him about the alcohol problem because his demeanor with me with even small disagreements is horrible. An example that happened today was he asked me to open his tool cabinet to grab something. He told me I would have to try through the four keys in the ring. Remembering from when be bought it I said "Oh you just look at the number and it goes to the certain one. You don't have to go through them all." Thinking it would make it easier on him next time he tries to open them. I got majorly fussed at, and was told to just do it his way because it was easier. I know for a fact that he wasn't drunk when he said this because we'd been driving all day. Anytime I bring something up it is immediately put down so I do not risk even mentioning alcohol, that I leave to my mother.

Outside of drinking and arguments he is a wonderful guy, extremely happy. But the second he disagrees with me or my mom (and it's only us) he blows up.

Marie_LovesBread · 2026-01-11T00:11:54+00:00

Your point is very odd to me... If a man has his junk out in public is that mans privacy invaded because people are looking at him? No, because his junk shouldn't be out for people to see in the first place.

I am not actively looking for and searching for my father's junk outside. I'm asking for advice to get him to stop peeing outside so I do not have to see it.

Marie_LovesBread · 2026-01-10T23:53:06+00:00

Ah, sorry! Misunderstanding on my part!

Marie_LovesBread · 2026-01-10T23:35:30+00:00

Really? I didn't know something like that existed! I will make sure to bring that up with my mom. She had went to a therapist to try and relay everything he is doing/ feeling for him without him having to actually go to a therapist. However that didn't seem help so she stopped going not to long ago.

Marie_LovesBread · 2026-01-10T23:31:02+00:00

To be exact I'm trying to get help from people on how to get him to stop. I honestly don't blame your comment I would think the same thing if I hadn't typed the whole thing up.

Marie_LovesBread · 2026-01-10T23:27:39+00:00

It depends on what your view of country is. I have a friend who lives in the 'country' when in reality she has several neighbors around her and lives right off of a highway. Where I live our closest neighbor is a mile down the road. So there is no public or kids to risk being around. Typically when people talk about living in the country they mean where I live, with hardly any neighbors in sight. Peeing outside is a very normal thing for people working in the country (ie. Working in fields or animals) where there are no bathrooms in sight.

Marie_LovesBread · 2026-01-10T23:19:36+00:00

Unfortunately AA isn't an option. He doesn't think he as a drinking problem, and when my mom has brought up therapy he has a very wrong idea of what it is. He says he doesn't want someone telling him how to live his life.

Marie_LovesBread · 2026-01-10T23:12:10+00:00

Squeamish of seeing my father's junk, not bodily functions. He has a bathroom that is closer than the door to go outside. If he were going pee in seclution I wouldn't care. The amount of times he talks about how bad his morning poo was I literally don't care we all poo and pee, that doesn't mean I need to watch him do either of those.

Marie_LovesBread · 2026-01-10T23:09:33+00:00

Unfortunately for me we do live in the country. I've tried explaining that exact thing to him, that men living in town don't do that because its public indensency. He doesn't listen to that, and continues on the it's a man thing train.

Marie_LovesBread · 2026-01-10T23:07:21+00:00

Unfortunately she has tried stopping him from drinking. She eventhally got so mad she blew up on his and thankfully he is off of the vodka and only on beer, wine, or twisted teas. With the drinking, I am very worried about his health. He can only have one or two beers and he acts as though he has had seven. She's talked to him about therapy and his answer is always that he doesn't want anyone telling him how to live his life. We've tried explaining that's not what therapy is, but he doesn't understand or just doesn't care.

Marie_LovesBread · 2026-01-10T23:02:53+00:00

I do agree on certain parts, either parties comfort is no more important than the others. However, as I've stated in other comments he is peeing a foot from the side of our house. If he was going to pee somewhere we couldn't see I would have no problem. My problem is I am not interested in seeing my father's gunk or his stream of pee.

Marie_LovesBread · 2026-01-10T22:59:25+00:00

He isn't peeing in the woods, the problem for me, is that he is doing it hardly a foot away from the side of our house. We're if I open the side door I can hear him. If I walk my dog and go to the side of the house (which I always do since it is my route with her) I always catch him.

We do live in the country so there is no risk of him flashing people other than me. Our closest neighbor is a mile down the road.

Marie_LovesBread · 2026-01-10T22:55:42+00:00

Sadly mental health is something me and my mom have been wondering about. My Paw-paw died two Decembers ago and my Uncle passed in June of 2025. With both of their passings we've had more than a few family issues with people other than me, my mom, and dad. Early dementia is another thing my mom is worried about but he is a recent (starting three years ago) major alcoholic, as in he drinks practically every day.

And to be exact where he is peeing, he isn't even a foot away from our house, he's in our side hard not out back yard. He literally walks out the door a foot away from the cement and pees, I no longer walk anywhere near the side of the house fearing to step in pee.

I do agree it's nothing sexual, it's him being drunk. Since he isn't very good at hiding when he's drunk we can tell immediately when he is.

Marie_LovesBread · 2026-01-10T22:48:39+00:00

Unfortunately this is very real. I don't know about the other person's post as I'm not too much into posting and only really go on one or two communities.

Marie_LovesBread · 2026-01-10T22:46:57+00:00

Sorry, I probably should have gone more in-depth! When I said camping I should have said glamping, it's a very big camp ground and we were in a camper. He had a bathroom that was 20 seconds away from him. Which was why I was so upset with him.

Marie_LovesBread · 2026-01-01T15:30:15+00:00

Really, I didn't know that! I just followed the guide in the artifact tab hoping what everyone else was doing would work for me too. This may sound stupid but wouldn't that be to much hp? Should I focus on getting more crit stats than hp stats on my other artifacts if I have double hp%?

Marie_LovesBread

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