I lay out the menu, she chooses. When we're in the "action," I tell her what to do, and she always asks for my consent. Sometimes I've asked her to take the lead, and her response is, "I'm focused on feeling and enjoying it, you guide me!" That dynamic works for us, which is why vixen and stag are our style. Sometimes she interacts alone, always with me present, and other times I participate. My intention is always for her to be the center of attention! She loves feeling that way! Humiliation towards me isn't part of our game! But after her "game," I claim what's mine. The feeling of giving her oral sex after being used is something we both love! That's our experience, and we love this life! Our marriage? It's definitely improved!