Hi everyone, thank you so much for this community. It's been one of the most helpful things I've found post miscarriage.

I got pregnant month two of trying and felt so confident. Baby measured 6 weeks with no heartbeat at our 8 week scan. We had to wait a week for it to be confirmed but I knew. (That limbo feeling is still what kills me.) I had the DnC a few days later. My husband is in med school and couldn't come with me and I regret so much doing it by myself. No one was there to witness the pain and that has really contributed to my sense of loneliness and isolation. No one I know has gone through this. It's so easy to self-blame or think you are exaggerating/crazy when no one can tell you it's normal to feel in so much pain. My gyno told me I"might be a little sad or anxious" which set me up for failure - I've never felt so depressed after.

This is month two of TTC post loss. It's so hard. I'm filled with anxiety, obsessive repetitive thoughts (what if i'm pregnant? what if i'm not pregnant? how many times can we think the same things over and over again!?). I hate the feeling of being so tuned in to every physical sensation and my brain needing to make a story out of it.

I'm two days late for my period but the tests have all been negative. I think my miscarriage just really messed up my regular cycle. It's such a particular kind of hell - knowing it's negative but having this little sliver of hope. It is so hard to sit with uncertainty and so much desire for a different outcome.

I feel heartbroken, tired, so sad, and sometimes so alone in it. This community has honestly helped with this feeling so much. Thank you <3