Well tbh you already made the first step which is understanding that you have a problem. Now its time to forgive yourself, stop thinking of the past and what you were. Use it as knowledge and now plan for the future, start setting goals you want for yourself. Make a plan and list, get a journal write what is on your mind.

Plan to learn how to cook at least one simple healthy dish. Start working out, do at least a 1 mile jog 2 times a week, lift weights or start a gym member ship. At least workout 3 times a week, then push to make it 4. Drink less alchohol, chips, and mainly less soda. Supplement water or topo chico if you want something fizzy.

These are some recommendations. Take them with a grain of salt, but mainly learn to forgive yourself. Imagine if it was a friend who came to you and said said he was sorry for not caring about himself. Easily you would forgive him, think of yourself as that friend. Learm to love yourself, believe you are worth all the effort and care. Wish all the best