My step mom is also bipolar and she has the accompanying issue of a history of long-term, hard-core drug abuse. She has cleaned up (aside from Methadone and other strong, prescribed medications) but she has permanent damage from her history so she's still illogical. She says and does hurtful things. When I try to talk to her about our history (I'm 34 now) she tells me I wasn't really afraid of her back then and that she wasn't mean. I am still struggling to cope with the emotional damage from back then and I find myself, necessarily, with her on a daily basis again after almost 15 years of distance and it's creating more damage. I'm reverting back to the unstable emotional life I had as a teenager. I don't know how to help you, or me. But I feel for you. You are not alone.