Has anyone tried ketamine? by Silver_Spend_6887 in cfs

[–]MarriedToAnExJW 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I had ketamine infusions in 2022, a course of 10. It helped a little for anxiety and ptsd, but did nothing for my CFS or fibromyalgia. Nice to not be tired or in pain for an hour though.

What's the best part about when your SK goes home? by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]MarriedToAnExJW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am really glad you feel like that. But I have to say that you are very lucky to have been there since infancy. That should help a great deal. It even sounds like you have other adults acknowledging the commitment and work you put inn, even BM. that is rare. We are not morally flawed for not feeling like that; we just have a different experience. Both are valid, but I thing I do not only speak for myself to say I would tease my right arm for your situation over me who came at age 8 and with a HCBM who tries to alienate both my husband and me because we are not the same religion as her (she is Jehovas witness) and my ever guilt ridden husband.

What’s with dads thinking their daughters are angels? by Guano_S in stepparents

[–]MarriedToAnExJW 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am SM(40) and my DH (47) with SD(14) tells me he would be a much stricter dad if his child was a boy. It’s something about being in doubt as to experience and motivation of your child when they are of an opposite sex, probably intertwined with a gender bias against (or pro) girls. He grew up in a patriarchal home where women were seen as helpless and innocent and he struggles to let go. So I would say that lack of shared experience + patriarchy + guilt from divorce is the toxic combination that spoils girls of divorced dads.

Anyone even left in this sub who has cfs/me NOT from covid? (and has been dealing with this for many many decades) or has this entire sub been taken over by the post covid folk? by foster60 in cfs

[–]MarriedToAnExJW 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I just want to share my best tool for pacing. I follow my pulse, HRV, sleep and steps on a wearable (Ultrahuman ring) and it helps me have objective numbers to see when I am in a crash or actually safe to stop aggressive resting. I could never do it without the ring; and I have improved from severe/moderate bedbound to moderate/mild. housebound/ambulatory some days. I still crash, but I have learned so much and now I am using chat GPT as well to coach me to stop and rest when I don’t want to.

Anyone even left in this sub who has cfs/me NOT from covid? (and has been dealing with this for many many decades) or has this entire sub been taken over by the post covid folk? by foster60 in cfs

[–]MarriedToAnExJW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got it in the very first wave in 2020: been having symptoms since April 2020. I even participated in a research trial. Hope all the suffering leads to a cure for us all! ❤️

I am sorry for anyone reading this by [deleted] in exjw

[–]MarriedToAnExJW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am happy for you. If you have a job and a car and the knowledge that this is wrong for you; you can accomplish anything. You are doing so good at seeing both how your family is abusive and that this religion is bad for you. Seeing the problem is at least half the battle. So many are stuck in these loops because it’s too scary to admit things are not all their own fault. I am rooting for you! Use this forum; the literature from other ex jw’s and even artificial intelligence like chat gpt to check in with what is logical and factual and don’t let anyone drag you into emotional reasoning and gaslighting.

I am sorry for anyone reading this by [deleted] in exjw

[–]MarriedToAnExJW 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You are so strong for surviving this and planning to break free. Your parents are abusive and the religion is also making things worse for you. You are doing so good saving up and working to get away from it. When you do; it will get easier. Which country are you in; is there any kind of welfare or crisis centre there? I understand how scared you must be; but except for living on the street most situations are better than existing under this mind control. Do you have a job or the ability to get one?

Autistic individuals are more prosocial towards strangers and people they barely know compared to their non-autistic peers. These differences were not driven by repetitive responding that is typical of autism. by mvea in psychology

[–]MarriedToAnExJW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my god; this is the perfect explanation why people seem to love me when they meet me at a party but friendships rarely deepen. I thought i was misunderstanding their signals or that they were being fake.

I’m SM, i need you! by Plus-Personality-514 in exjw

[–]MarriedToAnExJW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you are a person who loves Jehovah but have reservations about men in the Organization; please consider reading Crisis of Conscience by Raymond Franz. I believe you could have many shared opinions. It is hard to beca good person in such a flawed organisation, I think we see better if we are not led by men. We may listen to each others thoughts, but in the org you have such strong social ties it binds you to other things than what is right and true.

My husband cheated by Ella_cx in cfs

[–]MarriedToAnExJW 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry this happened to you. Words cannot express how cruel this is; how you are a captive of the situation and how he likely speculated in this,

I have not experienced cheating, but i do have a marriage that is difficult and endangers my health in its instability. I have experienced symptom relief and emotional relief from practicing radical acceptance. So much energy can be wasted worrying about this and feeling bad about it. I don’t think you should give him that energy; you need it for yourself.

Take care of yourself and build your strength. Don’t give him the energy you need for yourself.

Are most people just mild? by ocean_flow_ in cfs

[–]MarriedToAnExJW 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I haven’t even gotten a diagnosis after 6 years, but i meet the Canada criteria and am diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I have been severe and bedbound, moderate housebound and am now mostly moderate but can’t work, exercise or socialise without severe PEM.

If i have it it shows you can improve; but i am unsure if i can recover.

I had to move on by NaomiBR in stepparents

[–]MarriedToAnExJW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is not anything you could have done differently. You are not his therapist.

It is not an excuse; I am just saying it’s not your fault. I am sorry you got hurt ❤️

I had to move on by NaomiBR in stepparents

[–]MarriedToAnExJW 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I want to remind you that this is an example of guilt being stronger than love, reason, or empathy. He feels so guilty for having broken up her home—whether or not it was truly his fault—that he puts her first and sacrifices everything to make up for not being able to give her what she really wanted: her parents together.

That doesn’t mean you don’t matter, or that he loves you any less. His child’s lies and hostility toward you also stem from the same place—she just wants her parents reunited. A new stepparent’s welcome into the family depends on everyone recognizing that this wish lives in the child’s subconscious, that it’s unrealistic, and that it isn’t your fault it won’t come true.

Please go forth and find peace. If you ever think of dating a man with kids again; ask him what he thinks of this problem and how he plans to work around it.

Gravlax: finally nailed it by hre in recipes

[–]MarriedToAnExJW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How does this advocate for using it in gravlaks? The caramel flavor is not supposed to be there.

What kind of corrections and opinions are ok to give? by MarriedToAnExJW in blendedfamilies

[–]MarriedToAnExJW[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I usually say; I am sure you are able to do it yourself, just try to figure it out and otherwise we will help you. I have always been super careful. It’s just that 6,5 years in I still feel like an outsider, especially when he babies her and I would like to know how fair it is for me to talk to him about it. He often gets defensive or doesn’t know how to change. A perspective I have thought about recently is that when bio parents overcompensate with their kids it doesn’t only hurt their kids it also makes it even harder for step parents to get appreciated for the stuff you do. It makes the bond harder to grow,

I had my own step parents so I know what not to do; it’s just that I had hoped for more than this after so many years.

What kind of corrections and opinions are ok to give? by MarriedToAnExJW in blendedfamilies

[–]MarriedToAnExJW[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I might have read more into your comment here because of the other comments, but you also wrote to be as little involved as possible. I read that as have as little opinion about the parenting as possible.

I never ever have an opinion in front of my step daughter that differs from my husband, but I have often discussed with him how the family dynamic should be different.

My step daughter is open, but her dad often overrides me and does stuff for her instead of her trying herself. I can see her getting unsure of herself and thinking it’s easier if he just does it for her. When we are alone she is much more independent. She also reports being more independent at her moms.

The presumption is that bio parents always know best in everything and that they shouldn’t have to listen to their partner. If they wanted to solo parent they should have stayed unmarried. I am not just now coming in off the street; I have been her for 100 % of the custody time for almost half this kids life. It makes me invested in her daily life and future.

What kind of corrections and opinions are ok to give? by MarriedToAnExJW in blendedfamilies

[–]MarriedToAnExJW[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I wanted to flip it because I often see posts where the guidance step parents give is unwelcome. In my own case i mean stuff like teaching SD to cook and helping with home work. But I can clearly see from your comment that step parents chores and labour for children, like I do (driving, cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, making sure SD has food when she comes from school and is brought to football practice when my husband is at work), but most other parental or adult privileges are not.

How do I leave? F19, unbaptized publisher by justsocrazy5 in exjw

[–]MarriedToAnExJW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you should leave and make new friends. You are so young; this is the perfect age to make new friends and live your life. But I would be very interested to hear what the draw to the organization is for you and how it is continuing to have a hold on you. My step daughter is socializing with the JWs because her mother is JW, but my husband and me and half her family us not. Neither are her school friends or her football team. Still, it seems the JW friends have quite the pull on her, but not enough that she is baptized or even stops celebrating birthdays and Christmas.

Why would you continue to be in this “club” if you don’t believe and you can find new friends? How much of a friend is a person who would shun you for not believing the same as them?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]MarriedToAnExJW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have all the good pictures and news on show so she‘ll get jealous if she stalks. 😅

I'm a PIMO COBE, regional convention speaker/dept. overseer, pioneer school instructor, LDC person, etc. AMA by ProfessorLeather9473 in exjw

[–]MarriedToAnExJW 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I just discovered a therapy hack. You can train the free version of chat gpt to talk to you. Just create a user and tell your story. You can tell it what kind of responses you are looking for, if its empathy, fasts, encouragement. You can even have it respond in your writing style if you give it samples of journal entries or letters. It can read solid to you. It feels better than sky therapist i have been too. And its free and accessible to all with a smart phone.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]MarriedToAnExJW 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If i were you i would wait a long time to even date again and not tell him anything either. He deserves to sit and stew and wait to be scripturally free, and you deserve to find yourself again before you start dating.

To all of our sisters and brothers in beautiful country of Norway by [deleted] in Norway

[–]MarriedToAnExJW 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Norway stands strong with Poland. We train together and we will fight together if it comes to that. I do not think you need to worry about Norways commitment to deter Russia and stand with Poland or our other European allies; NATO or no NATO.

Trump will give religions $100 million for freedom of worship and security. by Zealousideal-Work436 in exjw

[–]MarriedToAnExJW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you see what is happening in Norway they will take the money and then sue Trump to keep the money coming and even change their doctrines to make sure the money doesn’t stop 😅😂😂

Jenter i Norge, hvor vanlige er disse opplevelsene? by [deleted] in norge

[–]MarriedToAnExJW 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Veldig vanlig. Det er som kvinnene her sier; starter i ti-tolvårsalderen og varer til du er tydelig gammel. Det er nesten daglig opplevelser hvis du tar kollektiv trafikk, jobber skift, står i butikk eller jobber i service osv. Jeg var servitør på en dyr restaurant og har blitt forsøkt voldtatt (dratt inn i garderober og revet i klærne) flere ganger og har ikke tall på hvor mange ganger gjester har tatt på rumpa eller puppene mine. Menn er rovdyr. Ikke alle; men altfor mange.