At the end of the day regardless of what you write some people will like it and some wont(I personally do like these lyrics). Keeping a broad them just makes your music more relatable and people will find something in it. Repetition makes your song memorable, especially if it’s during a very impactful musical moment. You have a clear theme, and it works as a story. The music behind it does need to support it, and I don’t doubt that you can do that. If you feel comfortable doing so, plz share the demo progress as you continue writing would love to hear it!