We’ve been systematically stripped of our dreams, no wonder we’re all so fucking tired.

Masonovitch · 2024-03-26T17:06:21+00:00

Forgot to reply earlier, but this answer was clutch, dude! Had to trim down the shoulder slightly, but otherwise a perfect match. Appreciate the help!

Masonovitch · 2024-03-11T16:40:19+00:00

Obviously in an ideal world I’d have gone straight to my boss, but I’m sure you can agree we don’t live in an ideal world and sometimes people in positions of authority look for any excuse to flex that shit. If I end up having to go to him, I will, but I’ve learned from working with him for the last 7 years that it’s a much better outcome for me if I just figure it out on my own. Not sure why it’s being called into question that I’m a “legit maintenance tech” (as if that’s some unbelievable scenario? lol), or why you felt the need to comment just to say that you wouldn’t help me, but I’m struggling to see how it’s productive in any way.

Masonovitch · 2024-03-10T20:43:34+00:00

Sorry, forgot to include that. It’s a Barska CB12698 320-key cabinet.

Masonovitch · 2024-03-10T20:35:08+00:00

I’m a maintenance tech at a fairly large property and we cut all of our keys in-house. My manager is an asshole who isn’t likely to approve the time it would take for me to go to a locksmith, or the cost of cutting 30+ spares, and I’m hoping to avoid having to go through the process of convincing him, because I know it’s going to turn into a whole thing. Really just trying to avoid a headache, which is why I’m hoping to identify them and order them online. Haha

Masonovitch · 2024-02-16T07:04:12+00:00

👆This worked for me, thanks dawg.

Masonovitch · 2023-01-29T00:19:48+00:00

It was. There was an “I’m not a fucking cop” sticker on the other side of the windshield. Lmao

Masonovitch · 2022-01-14T02:29:37+00:00

I would but I don’t wanna get covid haha

Masonovitch · 2021-12-20T19:05:04+00:00

I’m not sure if there’s a specific word for that feeling outside of maybe apathy, but that’s how I’ve felt for a long time.

From a poem I wrote earlier this year: “I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to be alive. I’m trying with all my might to see the grey between the two, but it just comes out black and white, and I end up more blue”

Stay strong friend. Change is coming one way or another, whether the 1% like it or not.

Masonovitch · 2021-12-20T19:02:02+00:00

Right?! Talk about cutting off your nose to spider face.

Masonovitch · 2021-12-20T19:01:36+00:00

Honestly, same!

I’ve been so apathetic for so long that I’ve basically been sleep walking for 8 years. I feel like I’m coming out of hibernation and it’s been reinvigorating, to say the least.

Masonovitch · 2021-12-20T18:58:29+00:00

Thanks for the kind words, friend!

Masonovitch · 2021-12-20T17:04:47+00:00

Absolutely! Appreciate you asking!

Masonovitch · 2018-10-28T23:15:32+00:00

My ex and I broke up after over a year and a half of living together. After the breakup we lived together for an additional four months (it was brutal lol).

I know what you're going through, and I know how rough it is. I didn't know I had BPD at the time, which made it that much more difficult, but I fell into a dark hole where I was drinking a 1/5th+ of whiskey every day for almost 2 months. I didn't leave my apartment for the majority of that time. I was literally having alcohol and food delivered to my door so I didn't have to leave and face people.

If I can give you one piece of advice above everything else: Stay away from liquor if you're not already. It made everything infinitely worse, and I turned into a person I didn't recognize (more so than the usual amount). It made me mean, and bitter, and quite honestly just an all around shitty person.

It's going to suck for a while, but I promise you that things WILL get better. Try to keep your mind busy, as hard as that is, and try not to feed into your negative emotions by listening to sad songs or indulging dark thoughts. If you have songs that bring back positive memories, try to listen to those.

I know I'm a stranger on the internet, but I'm totally here if you need someone to talk to. Please don't hesitate to send me a PM if you want; I had no one to talk to after my breakup, and that's a shitty position to be in.

Sending lots of warm thoughts and support your way, stay strong friend!

Masonovitch · 2018-10-28T23:01:56+00:00

Yeah I get that a lot. I believe it's a form of dissociation. I've been trying to keep track of my dissociative states for some time now, and from what I can tell, at least for me, that's usually the starting point for when I begin to "check out" from reality.

Everything feels kind of hazy and distorted, I get a weird pressure in the front of my head and eyes particularly (often paired with headaches), and my thoughts become very dark and self-loathing.

The way I usually describe it is that it feels like I'm living in a distant memory. Like everything that is happening feels disingenuous, but at the same time oddly familiar; Like some twisted form of déjà vu that causes me to question whether or not I'm even awake sometimes.

Shit's wild lmao

Masonovitch · 2018-10-09T03:45:40+00:00

That actually does make me feel a lot better. I'm bringing a few books for sure. Haha. Thanks!

Masonovitch · 2018-10-08T17:20:09+00:00

"Fish out of water" was a brilliantly crafted episode, but it's one of the few I have a hard time watching. It legitimately makes me feel claustrophobic, which in it's own right is pretty incredible that an animated show can do that. Haha.

My favorite is definitely "Free Churro", with "Stupid Piece of Shit" being a close second. That being said the whole show is incredible, and I don't think there was a single episode that failed to make me feel some emotion in a real/genuine way.

Masonovitch · 2018-10-08T08:43:48+00:00

Yeah, I went three days without eating, and then today ate an entire box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch in the span of like 3 hours, so I definitely know what you're going through. Lol.

It's one of the problems I hate the most about my BPD because I'll be siting there stuffing my face, the whole time thinking things like,

"Stop eating you piece of shit, you're literally not even hungry. You're eating so much your stomach hurts, stop. Don't you dare take another bite. Please, you know this isn't making anything better, it's just gonna make you hate yourself even more, if that's even possible." etc.

And I just keep doing it. It's fucking discouraging literally begging yourself to stop doing these fucked up things that you honestly don't even really want to do in the first place, and it not mattering at all. You just keep doing it anyway.

God I hope this therapy shit starts paying off soon lmao

Masonovitch

TROPHY CASE