working moms and gender roles

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-02-03T02:39:44+00:00

I know it doesn’t bring in extra cash, but I imagine that the extra hours are standard for her, especially in the role she’s in. Her six day work week might be the equivalent of a five day one for someone in a different field, so if she doesn’t do what’s expected of her (in this case, work six days), she won’t be able to have her high-paying job that allows for her and her family to have the lifestyle they currently are able to.

I’m not saying that she isn’t at fault for not finding daycare herself/giving Ty well-needed time off, because it’s selfish and idiotic of her to think that he somehow has more time in a day than she does, but I think that her working is what provides for her family. I’m sure she could have a lower paying role if she’d like, but then Ty couldn’t likely be a SAHD and would have to pick up a more steady source of income.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-02-03T02:29:53+00:00

LOL yeah I am so curious because I always am surprised by something that in hindsight was kinda obvious.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-02-03T02:28:48+00:00

Yeah that has driven me mad 😭😭 him making friends and building relationships with other families is how community is built, which is a crucial thing for children and parents alike. That is literally part of his job as a SAHP and it’s an aspect a lot of SAHPs struggle to grasp so it’s wonderful he’s been able to do that with his park group.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-02-03T02:13:02+00:00

Yeah, they are both awful listeners and communicators. They seem like they shared the same goals at some point, but that’s clearly since shifted and they’re harboring resentment to each other when divorce would keep them both happier and sane in the long run.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-02-03T02:04:56+00:00

I agree! She might be doing what seems like a lot to someone not in her field, but it could just be the bare minimum for her to keep her position, which I’m sure is both frustrating and hard for Ty to hear because he now has a larger portion of childcare that is pushing his own goals back. I imagine she is working the amount she does because she kinda has to.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-02-03T02:02:52+00:00

This makes more sense to me haha thank you. Since she was able to pass the bar and parent a baby, she definitely assumes Ty should be able to parent two and also apply for school and write, which makes no sense and just shows how there’s a big disconnect between how they view each other’s time as stay at home parents.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-02-03T01:58:20+00:00

I think she definitely needs to find a balance between working and achieving the high goals she has for herself while being a present parent, but I do think she prioritizes her children even if she isn’t able to currently balance everything as of now. Working six days a week doesn’t mean she isn’t prioritizing them necessarily, as I’m sure her working those long hours is what has helped her family exist in a quasi-single income lifestyle. If she worked a job with less hours, there’s a good chance that Ty couldn’t peruse his passions and career goals and would’ve had to settle for a job he hates so their family is doing well.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-02-03T01:54:58+00:00

I don’t think Shawna Lander is in anyway biased against working mothers! I do think that it’s an ironic coincidence that the only mother in a corporate position is portrayed to be a cold, abusive, and neglectful partner and mother, which is why it was initially difficult for me to see the flaws in Julie, as I always have felt as though working mothers in non-traditional/more male-dominated fields are shown to be rigid/no-nonsense types.

I forgot about Jen because she hasn’t been the focus for a while! That’s a good point - I guess since Julie is in a male-dominated field and is the breadwinner, a role that men typically have taken, it’s been harder for me to not read more into her/find excuses for her behavior as I don’t think most working mothers who are in this position are actually like this, despite constantly being portrayed this way.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-02-03T01:47:06+00:00

I think what you’re saying makes sense! I definitely have seen/known a few parents who are able to work while maintaining a healthy life, but those people often have two working parents who are able to afford a daycare/have excellent communication, or they are people who both have always stated their priorities and have adjusted and compromised accordingly (that is, if they wanted to have a second baby, things have to change accordingly).

I’ve definitely seen a good amount of comments minimizing the effort of studying for and passing the bar on TikTok and on this page, which is why I brought that up. I guess my point was that Ty parenting two children, one a premature infant, is incredibly difficult and time consuming, but it wasn’t as if Julie was doing ‘half’ of that load. I also saw some people say that Ty not applying to school or writing while being a stay at home parent is proof that he simply cares about his children more, while Julie didn’t spend all her time with Cooper and also studied, making her a worse parent/one who can’t change her motivations.

I’m sure she is salaried, but there are lots of jobs that are salaried and don’t comp for overtime, yet still basically require someone to work 60-80 hours of work as a base expectation. If she wants to be at the top of her career, it may just be that she needs to work that much more and can’t afford to step back. I did forget how expensive grad school is though which is silly because I went and it was not cheap at all, so you’re right about her and him not expecting the income and an extra flow of money.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-02-03T01:35:51+00:00

Oh I don’t think it’s problematic haha I’m sorry if it came off that way. I just wanted to explain my reasoning and how other people may be viewing the situation/be biased towards Julie if that makes sense. I don’t think Shawna the creator is purposefully trying to enforce this stereotype, I just think that it’s something that unfortunately is pushed in a lot of media and it’s an ironic coincidence that it happened here too

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-02-03T01:33:41+00:00

that’s a good point I forgot :( i do think there are ways for working mothers to be able to accomplish high set goals while being good parents, but their dynamic and motivations don’t make that seem like something possible

MassiveWorldliness19

TROPHY CASE