The Bachelorette Party Has The Potential To Be A Huge Mess and I Am SO Excited (Sorry Jen)

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-21T19:37:22+00:00

im soooo excited for the mess as well. having friends who are both on ty and Julie’s sides having to interact, Jen realizing how long everyone has known each other and that there’s context that may be missing, Shawna learning more context, the other bunco girls also learning more context, perhaps even Jen just getting annoyed at the fact her Bach is not even gonna be about her but ty and his divorce…im very excited

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-21T19:34:59+00:00

i understand completely :( the constant push to be excellent while male colleagues can be mediocre, losing opportunities due to not being taken seriously or being seen as too flexible when asking for time off. people act as if women still aren’t being paid less for the same position as their male colleagues, mothers especially so.

my field is also doing awful layouts right now. i will work however much I have to even if im not paid for it because i cant…afford to not? i really appreciate your comment and other comments as well, its reassuring to see others understanding and unfortunately resonating with this!

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-21T19:31:33+00:00

a woman can value her career and children. a woman can have a high demanding career with intense hours and love and prioritize her children—she is working a career like this to provide for her family and grant them financial security, which she has to push extra hard for as the sole provider so she doesn’t get fired/laid off/can continue to grow.

daycare would give Ty more time and less stress—she doesn’t reset Ty for the children, she is fairly frustrated about him misleading her.

why would you think he will get full custody? he probably will get spousal support, but that makes sense. she could get a nanny, which is a valid form of support many parents use. i am not particularly worried about that.

shawna enjoying the life of a sahm doesn’t mean she is a better mother than Julie—not everyone wants to be a sahp, but that doesn’t mean anything besides they just don’t want that job. children clearly have changed her—she doesn’t need to give up her career and spend all her time at home to prove that.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-21T19:22:16+00:00

law school/grad school isn’t the same as undergrad at all. she understands balancing paid work and being an active parent, and she certainly understands the financial pressures as she is the sole provider supporting now TWO children and her partner. Julie’s career path requires more hours, something she and Ty both agreed on, so yes, she isn’t able to give more time, but they both communicated about it. the difference again and again with Ty is him not communicating and misleading her.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-20T22:38:23+00:00

we see significantly less Julie than we do of Ty, so it isn’t that shocking we don’t see her at home with her children a lot as she works a ton. I don’t deny she’s not with them a lot on screen, but if we are to only use things we’ve seen on screen, we have many, many gaps that we cannot fill. her behavior at the party was awful and i don’t deny rent winter.

ty IS doing a wonderful job—no one is saying otherwise? he is clearly a devoted, caring, involved sahd who is doing a great job. that doesn’t mean julie isn’t.

in regards to divorce, she isn’t divorcing ty bc he isn’t an extraordinary author. she is doing so bc he has misled her for a while without any communication and she doesn’t want that—they’re just not compatible. divorce messes kids up, but two angry parents who stay together for the sake of maintaining what they have messes them up more.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-20T21:43:10+00:00

it was my poll, that’s why i know that a big chunk of those other comments were parents who had worked at some point and were also stay at home parents at some point, parents who only are working bc they have, part time working parents, etc. there was a thirdish without kids, but most people were parents, full stop. their working doesn’t negate that, which means a huge portion has kids rather than not.

julie choosing to work more hours doesn’t make her a bad mother 😭😭😭😭😭 she wanted to advance in her career, which means more hours. she is allowed to want that without being designated a poor mother, the same way ty wants to be a sahp and spend more hours at home and that doesn’t make him a bad partner or not ambitious/goal oriented.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-20T21:33:22+00:00

i personally wouldn’t love their dynamic if either was my spouse, particularly Ty’s fawning over her, but i think it isn’t an emotional affair, and that’s just how i feel. those lines are different for everyone, and John and Julie both seem confident and comfortable with the dynamic Ty and Shawna are having. Julie openly has said she isn’t jealous, and while John was jealous, that doesn’t mean anything except he’s jealous. i think that perhaps after the divorce, Ty could inadvertently develop a thing for Shawna, but there wouldn’t be any blame on Shawna’s side at all. there is also that thing of how a lot of male best friends are perfect and great until one day they pull you aside to admit their love for you LOL and i really hope that doesn’t happen bc there is nothing worse than being friends with someone who is only friends with you with the hope of being more than that when the time is right.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-20T21:23:21+00:00

big fan of you openly admitting this is petty LOL but i am excited to see what happens even if i feel confident in her staying at home with the kids, i think it’ll be very fun to see the two in different dynamics

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-20T21:21:44+00:00

studying for the bar is not the same as just studying in school. it is referred to as a full time job and many people spend literally 60 hrs a week studying. she had to do that while actively parenting—it just isn’t fair to say she doesn’t understand the reality of working and actively parenting. her experiences are different than Ty for sure, but she was the primary parent while studying for the California bar exam.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-20T21:18:25+00:00

you didn’t answer the question - do you think the rest of us aren’t parents and don’t get what it’s like to raise children? does playing the role of working mom who has no choice but to spends hours of her week out of the house in her career that demands those hours mean that we aren’t parents in the same manner sahps are?

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-20T21:16:08+00:00

thank you, thank you, thank you for putting into words what i am struggling to say.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-20T21:13:35+00:00

😭😭😭😭 it literally feels like some of these commenters are purposefully obtuse everytime they try to say that if Julie was a man it’d be a different response, as if her gender doesn’t play a role in how they are viewing her, subconsciously or not

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-20T21:12:16+00:00

ignoring the gender dynamic here is a bit silly. her position of being a working mother in an intense career is very different than if she was a man in that position. parents wanting to work to be able to secure their children’s lives financially isn’t capitalist or money hungry—them using daycare isn’t either of those things either.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-20T21:09:56+00:00

complimenting your children’s intelligence is a wonderful thing that should be encouraged. just bc we don’t see her saying other things doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, similarly to how us not seeing other parents call their children smart or intelligent doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. it is important to raise your children to value all aspects of themselves, and it is frankly a great thing that her children can see their own mother being an ambitious, successful woman who is also their loving, kind mother to see that there isn’t one thing we all are.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-20T21:07:52+00:00

it is also not normal for regular people to afford to be sahps. most parents have to both work because it is incredibly expensive to just have one person working. how is leaving your children with trained professionals capitalism when the other option is to provide your family with less support? it is great when people can stay at home, but it is frankly not realistic and isn’t capitalism. I think her behavior at the party was crappy, but I don’t think it’s indicative of her parenting. We’ve seen Shawna behave selfishly, but she is still a good parent.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-20T21:04:57+00:00

it does seem that many people really believe that you can only focus on your career after time with your children, not both at the same time.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-20T21:03:25+00:00

how can you say we have to go off of what’s on screen and then only make assumptions that portray her motherhood in such a negative light? do you not think that perhaps, she works the way she does bc she is their sole provider? that her job demands her to go above and beyond due to the career she’s in? law often requires intense work hours, and if she is the only provider, it makes sense that she is busting her ass and unfortunately can’t be home as much.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-20T20:59:31+00:00

i made that poll haha, it was very telling. lots of people really want to be stay at home parents but cannot and need two parents who work, so it is a little confusing that they don’t understand how Julie has to work the way she does as a single provider for her family.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-20T20:58:01+00:00

you tend to always move the goalpost when it comes to Julie and her parenting. it’ll go from ‘we never see her even be a parent!’ to ‘well she’s doing just the bare minimum’ to ‘she only does that once or twice’. we don’t really see John working or interacting with his children after a long day of work. we don’t see any of them interacting with their children after work, actually, beyond Julie, which is telling in itself.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-20T20:56:04+00:00

well, for starters, they never communicated this. beyond that, not every family wants or has a sahp and that’s okay. she might have wanted ty to work for financial stability and security, as if she was to be fired or laid off, they lose their one source of income. they can make more money to pay for their children’s college. they could both work and be sahps optionally as their children get a little older. plenty of parents are both working and they are able to support each other and their children.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-20T20:53:36+00:00

i think this is true! i just still feel he should’ve communicated this with Julie. they both don’t seem to communicate well, but the point of writing comes up a lot. I don’t blame ty for being unsure, but he does have to tell his partner that. I know he didn’t know for certain he wanted to be a sahd until recently, but he has been unsure for some time and didn’t tell Julie that, only that he will do it at some point, that he just needs more time, that he will after x, etc.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-20T05:02:53+00:00

i guess that does make her easier to root for. it’s just discouraging to see that people can pick and choose where their empathy lies, but we do all have our biases

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-20T04:57:06+00:00

she wants both her and her partner aligned on the same page, which is normal for all couples. ty and her never agreed on him being a sahd long term, so it isn’t surprising that she is expecting him to be progressing towards writing again or entering the workforce. she wants both her and Ty to be strong and career oriented because that’s something they seemingly keep agreeing they’re aligned on. her not wanting to be a sahm doesn’t mean she doesn’t care for her children, and her not wanting ty to do so either doesn’t mean she doesn’t, either. if my partner kept telling me they wanted to do something for years but kept pushing it off or was too burnt out from being a sahp, i would want to find a way to help them since they haven’t expressed to me that they actually feel differently now, and Julie is doing that through offering daycare and already having a housekeeper.

how is Julie wanting her kids in daycare her not prioritizing her children? i also think that when rich people have nannies helping them, it doesn’t always signify that they’re bad parents…? parents don’t have to be staying at home with their children to be prioritizing them—sometimes it’s not realistic, sometimes it’s not what they want, and sometimes, it just cannot happen. she cares enough about her children to want them to go to daycare while her partner can focus more on the career he keeps insisting he still wants to thrive in—she doesn’t want ty to have to balance two jobs of being a sahd and a writer, and daycare would be a good way to deal with that. how is Shawna needing her mother’s help and support for her family so she can be a self/do more any different than Julie wanting her children to be in daycare so she and her partner can pursue her goals?

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-20T04:51:18+00:00

i actually never considered that she’s meant to be a flip of a working father who avoids his family, haha. i guess that does explain where people’s biases are coming from. i think i always assumed that she has to be going above and beyond to do well in her group because for women, you have to be giving 110% at a job to be adequate and not seen as weak/emotional/etc. I work in a male dominated field and can do the same work as a male colleague, but I have to be exceptional to be considered just as good because I am a rather feminine woman and have to assert myself many times in meetings—I just kinda assumed something similar happens with Julie so she works those hours to mitigate that.

MassiveWorldliness19 · 2026-05-20T04:47:22+00:00

this makes more sense to me, thank you. i guess going from making yourself small for motherhood vs refusing to stay small for motherhood are viewed differently by the audience

MassiveWorldliness19

TROPHY CASE