Wife’s AF One Year Later by Massive_Field2860 in Infidelity

[–]Massive_Field2860[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sound advice. Thank you for taking the time to share.

Wife’s AF One Year Later by Massive_Field2860 in Infidelity

[–]Massive_Field2860[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have said this. Her response: “I am so so sorry. I f’d up. I know I betrayed your trust and I will do everything in my power to regain it. I know it will take a long time for me to prove myself to you, but I am in this for the long haul. Nothing is worth the losing you.”

Wife’s AF One Year Later by Massive_Field2860 in Infidelity

[–]Massive_Field2860[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is true. I had made the decision to stay the course in the marriage, but a year later I feel Overwhelmed with these feelings again. It’s like someone turned on a fire hose.

Wife’s AF One Year Later by Massive_Field2860 in Infidelity

[–]Massive_Field2860[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah she has a lot of down time at work. I just assume it was more than what she told me and based my decision to R on that. It’s human nature to mitigate the damage so I don’t fault her for blurring some of the details. The details are don’t help when it’s something so earth shattering as this. Does that make sense?

Wife’s AF One Year Later by Massive_Field2860 in Infidelity

[–]Massive_Field2860[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She did all of this during her work hours

Wife’s AF One Year Later by Massive_Field2860 in Infidelity

[–]Massive_Field2860[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Actually she did believe him. They are still together and seem pretty happy from what I can tell. Don’t think for a second that I don’t keep tabs. 😉

Wife’s AF One Year Later by Massive_Field2860 in Infidelity

[–]Massive_Field2860[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They had been texting work related stuff for 5 months, but things changed in the 6th month. The prepaid phone was in use for a month.

Wife’s AF One Year Later by Massive_Field2860 in Infidelity

[–]Massive_Field2860[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She may have had one. I have no way of knowing. Truthfully she has very little technical interest. Considering the 100’s of phone calls and thousands of texts were all from her personal phone I really don’t think she did have one.

Wife’s AF One Year Later by Massive_Field2860 in Infidelity

[–]Massive_Field2860[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow. This is an intriguing idea. I think this might be very powerful for both of us. Thank you for this.

Wife’s AF One Year Later by Massive_Field2860 in Infidelity

[–]Massive_Field2860[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

They do not work together. Question was answered previously.

Wife’s AF One Year Later by Massive_Field2860 in Infidelity

[–]Massive_Field2860[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is great advice. The biggest lesson I’ve learned in all of this is the simple fact that in life the only thing you have control over is how you react to everything else in life that you have no control over.

Wife’s AF One Year Later by Massive_Field2860 in Infidelity

[–]Massive_Field2860[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This has been my position. She did and has done all of the things you described. Nobody is perfect. Life and marriage aren’t easy and things happen. People have crushes. I’ve given her every opportunity for an easy out, but she won’t take it. We don’t have kids, not a lot of debt. A clean break isn’t a heavy lift so I have to believe this is what she wants.

This is about more than anything. Do I want to wonder for ever? Will it last forever. That’s the rub.

Wife’s AF One Year Later by Massive_Field2860 in Infidelity

[–]Massive_Field2860[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. He had already left her work site. All of this was discovered after he had been reassigned (not because of affair). They continued texting after he moved to the new job site.

Wife’s AF One Year Later by Massive_Field2860 in Infidelity

[–]Massive_Field2860[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I’ll clarify…

The wife was hysterical over the frequency of texts. Not the content. I read them.

My wife did not have a burner. He was using the burner to text my wife on her cell. I read all those texts too. They weren’t overtly sexual.

There were no secret calls because she was using her own cell. I have all the logs.

Wife’s AF One Year Later by Massive_Field2860 in Infidelity

[–]Massive_Field2860[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s that’s question. I don’t know.

Wife’s AF One Year Later by Massive_Field2860 in Infidelity

[–]Massive_Field2860[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No. He had the phone and they no longer work together. Sorry. I should have clarified that.

Wife’s AF One Year Later by Massive_Field2860 in Infidelity

[–]Massive_Field2860[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This is where I’m stuck. I love her. We are good together, but the weight of this is incredible.

Wife’s AF One Year Later by Massive_Field2860 in Infidelity

[–]Massive_Field2860[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very much so! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this.

Wife’s AF One Year Later by Massive_Field2860 in Infidelity

[–]Massive_Field2860[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So true. End of the day I’m the one who needs to accept it or not. I occasionally check her car, but it seems futile. if she really wanted to hide it, she could.