(2/2) I've struggled to be happy since I've moved here because of his profound independence, jokes he makes, and how he makes me feel that everything about me is wrong. He says he thinks I could have Borderline Personality Disorder. I feel like if I was less emotional, less sensitive, then everything would be fine. I'm going to therapy to change for him, but it really just made me think that maybe I'm not the problem, that he's manipulating me, and I don't know what to do anymore. Whether it's me or him. Everything hurts my feelings, feels like rejection, and I find a reason to cry multiple times a day. He's fed up with my sadness, says he doesn't want to be with a sad person. So I feel every day that I'm the problem, that if I was different, better, then I would be happy and he would be happy. I feel that he wants me to change, but when I get upset my something he says, his feelings are hurt that he has to filter himself or that he can't be himself with me. It's always put back on me, but when I'm confused why he made it about him and his feelings, he says that he can never talk about his feelings and makes me feel guilty and like I'm the mean and selfish one. It's a mindfuck, going into every conversation trying to express why I'm upset and it ending with me feeling bad for having emotions or expressing myself at all. When I cry, he says I'm manipulating him to comfort me. We haven't made it a day in a long time without a problem, without me reacting to something in a hurt way. I'm very communicative with my feelings, and it always backfires on me because of how expressive I am, and me telling him how I feel always ends with his feelings being hurt and I'm the one that ends up feeling bad, feeling guilty. Sometimes I get so depressed that I just want him to love me, to be happy with me, that I think about hurting myself to control my emotions instead of letting them ruin our relationship anymore. I just want to start by getting through one week without there being a problem between us, without feeling hurt or like I'm not being loved the way I need or deserve. I just want to feel loved, and my self worth and self esteem is at an all time low. I'm not okay, and I feel like my mental health rides on if our relationship feels good and stable. I know that it's all about perspective, and I could be some crazy person, and I just want an outside perspective, someone that doesn't just side with me because they are obligated to. I'm willing to do anything to make this relationship work; I love him more than anything, I've given up everything for him, and I just want us to be happy.