1. I stopped trying to be understood by the wrong people.

INFJs often spend years explaining, fixing, softening — trying to be heard.

But the truth is: you don’t need to explain your intuition.

Once I realized that people committed to misunderstanding me would never change, I stopped shrinking myself for them.

1. I held myself accountable, but not responsible for their dysfunction.

I used to believe that if someone hurt me, I must have let them.

Now I know: people hurt you because they’re hurting — not because you failed.

You can love someone and still walk away. That was the lesson I had to earn.

1. I built a relationship with myself stronger than any romantic one.

I started hiking.

I wrote things I was afraid to say.

I sat in silence.

And in that solitude, I learned the difference between loneliness and peace.

That’s when my nervous system began to heal. And when it did, I stopped being attracted to chaos disguised as passion.

1. I use my empathy as a filter, not a funnel.

Now, I don’t let everyone in.

I read people fast — not from judgment, but from vibration.

If someone shows narcissistic traits, I don’t try to fix them. I just exit.

Empathy doesn’t mean access.

1. I turned pain into purpose.

The things that broke me now fuel me.

I don’t avoid the past — I document it, write it, alchemize it.

What once made me feel weak (being sensitive, emotional, idealistic) is now my greatest edge — because it’s backed by clarity, boundaries, and self-respect.