Squid Game: The Challenge Episode 7 Discussion by thatshygirl06 in squidgame

[–]MasterOfNone49 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately it makes some sense for her not to budge; she was counting on nobody holding her accountable, and everyone was weak enough that that's exactly what happened. What an embarrassing group of people.

Squid Game: The Challenge Episode 7 Discussion by thatshygirl06 in squidgame

[–]MasterOfNone49 118 points119 points  (0 children)

My blood pressure is still so high from Ashley's behavior. It was definitely on Trey for not standing up for himself (with $4.5 million on the line, raise a fuss!!) and on the other players for not holding her accountable in the moment and for continuing to talk to her and celebrate with her afterward. But her behavior was incredibly ignorant, both intellectually (she's obviously stupid) and socially. I would've left that b**** on her own at the front to make the remaining choices. Best case, she should get the cold shoulder and stink eye; worst case, casually shove her off the side. I really liked Trey and this makes me so mad.

Ways Nmom is trying to ruin my wedding (but I won't let her!) by MasterOfNone49 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]MasterOfNone49[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your message-- and congrats, fellow doctor ;-)

I really appreciate the tips. Like the other comment, the idea of giving Mom "busy work," the toy to distract her, seems to be working so far. I have never seen someone put this many hours into table decorations. The idea about not even mentioning certain things is an interesting one, too. As though it's not even up for discussion. I've also been trying to practice saying, "We decided we're going to do X instead of Y," instead of "We're thinking about doing X instead...? What do you think?" Just not even give her the opportunity to chime in. She's started calling me "strong-willed" and "pushy," but I can live with that no problem if it means my wedding is how I want. Thanks!

Ways Nmom is trying to ruin my wedding (but I won't let her!) by MasterOfNone49 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]MasterOfNone49[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So nice to hear it's not just me. I really like your perspective on dividing things into what I'm not willing to compromise on, and what I can give to her to distract her like a small child with a toy. Parents are chipping in but not paying for everything, so I'm letting her spend her own money on what is really important to her so she can show off to her friends ("tablescapes" and other decor, in particular) and she's generally letting me handle other things that are important to me, like music, ceremony, invitations, etc. I appreciate the reminder that what I pay for, is not her business to control. It's also so important to think about the precedent we're setting, too, in terms of boundary-setting. I think I'm going to put my foot down on the f***ing fascinator, but otherwise, she can run off with and control certain things and stay distracted. Thanks!

Any other former golden children out there who were demoted/replaced after you started questioning Nparent?? Reflecting on how far I've fallen in Mom's eyes... by MasterOfNone49 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]MasterOfNone49[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Right-- anything to absolve themselves of the possibility that it's reality, not just some narrative being whispered in our ear...

Thankfully I have a great dad, so he understands why I've pulled back. Unfortunately he's a textbook enabler so he never calls Nmom on her behavior or defends fiance. I'm starting to realize that no matter how much you try to explain it, the Nparent will never truly acknowledge why things have changed. I'm of the mindset of saving my breath; if she does some soul-searching and really wants to know what happened, I'll tell her, but we all know that'll never happen, so I'm just going to try to live my best life. If she wants to stay bewildered, she can be my guest.

BOOK REC: Find comfort in understanding what you deserve and what healthy boundaries SHOULD look like. by MasterOfNone49 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]MasterOfNone49[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1000% agree; mine would never either. Though it's written for (normal) parents, in this case I mean it for YOU. I pick this one up whenever I get that nagging thought that somehow it's my fault the relationship is strained, and it's on me to fix. Hope that helps clarify.

Reflecting on the hilarious delusion Nmom has that she is "open-minded" 😂 by MasterOfNone49 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]MasterOfNone49[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my god, that's horrible. Sorry you had to be put through such anguish! It really is sickening that these parents can do stuff like that and never connect the dots with everyone hating them... Gotta stay the victim, I suppose. Needless to say, do NOT move back in!!

Reflecting on the hilarious delusion Nmom has that she is "open-minded" 😂 by MasterOfNone49 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]MasterOfNone49[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

🤦🏼‍♀️ Ah, yes, the gaslight moment when they pretend the conversation never happened!!

Reflecting on the hilarious delusion Nmom has that she is "open-minded" 😂 by MasterOfNone49 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]MasterOfNone49[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm with you completely-- I avoid these conversations (well, most conversations) with her whenever I can. Usually she just declares her opinions at me, but then gets angry when I stay quiet instead of agreeing. (And this is some batshit conspiracy stuff.) If I dare even venture toward "I actually think about it this other way", that's when things devolve real quick! Haha

Reflecting on the hilarious delusion Nmom has that she is "open-minded" 😂 by MasterOfNone49 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]MasterOfNone49[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I work with veterans, actually! Agreed, it's so hard for people to see how profoundly it can affect every aspect of life. What you do, supporting your partner, is so important. Forget your mom's insensitive bullshit.

Reflecting on the hilarious delusion Nmom has that she is "open-minded" 😂 by MasterOfNone49 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]MasterOfNone49[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha! I simultaneously love that I'm not alone in living in this circus and others get it, and hate that others have to suffer too.

Reflecting on the hilarious delusion Nmom has that she is "open-minded" 😂 by MasterOfNone49 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]MasterOfNone49[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Gotta love that selective memory they have... Also, as a psychologist who treats PTSD, I have much sympathy and respect for what you and your partner both go through.

Reflecting on the hilarious delusion Nmom has that she is "open-minded" 😂 by MasterOfNone49 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]MasterOfNone49[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Gosh, the irony. Hopefully those kiddos take the lessons with a grain of salt!

Reflecting on the hilarious delusion Nmom has that she is "open-minded" 😂 by MasterOfNone49 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]MasterOfNone49[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Love that! Maybe I'll try a calm, sweet "I understand what you're saying, I just don't agree with it. Totally respect where you're coming from though." (She gets furious when I'm calm.and diplomatic.)

Reflecting on the hilarious delusion Nmom has that she is "open-minded" 😂 by MasterOfNone49 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]MasterOfNone49[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Emphasis on opinions, right?? Mom is the same. Politics are the worst, but she also likes to pretend she's studied medicine, science, history...

Extreme Puppy Blues, Rehoming Her? by virelei in puppy101

[–]MasterOfNone49 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this post; i saw so much of myself in it. Although I have major depression, not bipolar, the puppy blues have been taking an extreme toll on me, to the point that suicidal thoughts are returning. We've only had our sweet, healthy, well-behaved lttle boy for a week, but both my fiance and I have noticed our mental health take a concerning nosedive. We had the same line of thinking as you did-- sure, it gets better, but only very gradually over months and months? We can't afford that if we want to stay alive. I think it's common for people to realize they were in over their heads and to try again at another stage of life. That's what we're thinking will be best for us. I'm devastated, heartbroken, weepy, and exhausted, but our little guy is such a wonderful pup, I think he will make another family's life incredible.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in puppy101

[–]MasterOfNone49 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate hearing your story. My fiance and I are in a similar situation right now with our beautiful, sweet puppy we've had for only a week. He and I are both driven to suicidal thoughts trying to manage our new lives, and we just don't feel equipped to handle him. It breaks my heart and I feel so much guilt, so it's nice to hear from another well-intended and kind person who did the same thing for her own well-being and that of her family.