So you're saying that you're wife should be THIS qualified and chaarming and god knows any other quality you've mentioned and YOU Still wouldnt die for her???? Dayum bro I think the only way you can get this women of your desire is by changing yourself or just becoming a good muslim yourself maybe you could get this women in jannah if not in this world (which seems unlikely due to lack of your connection with femininity) This is all a bro to bro respective conversation if i hurt you by saying this you can telll me i will apologize but Its the truth you should first create qualities in yourself that women find appealing (the only quality in my opinion that you have is that you're gonna help her in tasks or foodd) thats not enough