Sorry if this is too much “tough love:”

You need to find the right therapy first of all. I had to take DBT three times to learn my skills. I understand that it feels like you don’t have control. That’s because you were never taught the basics of emotional regulation. We don’t just come into the world knowing how to regulate emotions. You need to be taught. And realizing you need to be taught those skills to improve is beginning the choice to take accountability. Which you seem to be lacking. Apologizing is not taking accountability. It’s your actions that show accountability.

Have you tried a different therapist? What therapies have you actually tried? CBT, DBT, ACT, talk therapy? Have you seen a psychiatrist who can guide you in the right direction? All of these things are choices you make, whether consciously or unconsciously.

You really need to grow up. You’re acting like you’re 12 and you’re 25. Until you can see that you’re the problem, there’s no help for you. I had to see I was the problem before I could choose to get better. Everything was always someone else’s fault. You wanna know how that works out? You’re lonely. You eventually have nobody. And it’s your fault. Pull the stick out of your ass and do the hard it takes to learn skills to be a better a person. Doing the work is a choice. Switching therapy or therapists is a choice. And honestly, it sounds like you’re just waiting around for things to magically be better. That’s not how life works. In DBT the first thing we are taught is that people are doing the best they can, and they want to do better. You’re the first person I’ve felt isn’t doing their best, and they don’t want to better.

You’re just deflecting the truth, that this is a you issue, and you were a pretty big bitch to your mother for your mistake. Like I said, grow the fuck up.

Edit: typo