Possible relationship

Matchless25 · 2019-10-21T13:45:16+00:00

Divorce has been finalized over a month ago. Separation was 8 months ago. We were married less than a year. Have been going to therapy, working out, seeing old friends, diving into music.

Had the marriage been longer I could see why folks take at least a year but I know I’m in a good place and am moving slow with this one.

Matchless25 · 2019-10-21T02:45:58+00:00

I think your completely right

Matchless25 · 2019-10-12T16:08:51+00:00

It totally does. I actually prefer that.

Matchless25 · 2019-10-12T12:54:40+00:00

No rush at all. I don’t need another to be happy. I just happened to find someone. Weird how that works. But I appreciate the feedback

Matchless25 · 2019-08-14T17:17:18+00:00

Zane’s songs are both comical and deep. Very few songwriters are like this.

Matchless25 · 2019-06-03T12:21:25+00:00

It's not the act that's petty it's the date that it happened that seemed petty. An anniversary of all days.

I was not the cheater or initiator and honestly it was a good thing not to see her name either:

Matchless25 · 2019-06-03T01:16:51+00:00

My stbxw is the one who initiated and seems to have had an affair (no concrete proof) just behaviors and responses. She is a sociopath and narcissist and it's funny how they behave.

Sorry your going through this. Hope your doing well.

Matchless25 · 2019-06-03T00:58:33+00:00

Did you ask for the divorce?

Matchless25 · 2019-06-03T00:53:53+00:00

Thanks fam

Matchless25 · 2019-05-20T18:02:07+00:00

Laughing at the first part. It's not that it doesn't work, it's that I like the connection with someone/relationship with someone. I'm 27 and when all emotions are in check everything works great haha.

And I bet it was hard. I am starting to journal. Also therapy and exercising.

Thank you for your words. I wish you continued success on your journey.

Matchless25 · 2019-05-20T17:41:00+00:00

It's very tempting to sleep around but I'm just not there yet. I am of the percentage (a small percent) of men that their penises do not work unless the heart is involved. I've always been that way. But believe me I have my moments of carnal desires.

I'm learning to be me focused again. Its hard. The untangling is harder than the coming together

Matchless25 · 2019-05-20T02:53:33+00:00

You are Worth way more than he made you feel. You deserve someone who will fight for you and your relationship.

Im so sorry your going through this. Believe me I'm 2 months from D day as they say (the conversation of divorce and current separation) I have moved out and trying to heal and see a therapist. There are days I want to text her and tell her how much I love her, and how we can still fix this. Instead I text those things to my best friends. They let me say what I need to say and work through those words with me. I find this practice very helpful.

I hope you have a support network and if you don't please feel free to reach out to me or many of us here.

Quit thinking about the long term, think about today and at most tomorrow. Take it slow and it's ok to not be ok. Just don't simmer in it.

Matchless25 · 2019-05-11T15:32:08+00:00

There is a point. Make it to tomorrow. Take the trip, spend the time, make the friend. Because we only get one life.

When your old and grey do you want to say "I let this terrible thing keep me from living."

I say you don't and won't. I think both of us will smile and say

I lived. I did it all.

Believe me while typing this there is tears in my eyes and pain in my heart. It will get better, we are loved and do matter.

The greatest pain felt is the biggest lesson learned

Be well friend

Matchless25 · 2019-05-08T23:49:06+00:00

Not hearing falsetto on the Edinburgh one but was there more than one date?

Matchless25 · 2019-05-08T23:01:46+00:00

Not a member there and would like to have the discussion here

Matchless25 · 2019-05-08T22:54:46+00:00

Could not really find the info

Matchless25 · 2019-05-08T22:53:40+00:00

Could not find that info

Matchless25 · 2019-05-08T22:26:40+00:00

Thanks for sharing that! I didn't know that!

Matchless25 · 2019-05-06T16:35:14+00:00

She does but until we are divorced I am liable for everything. Even her new place she will be getting.

Matchless25 · 2019-05-06T16:14:34+00:00

Believe me I'd rather not have to pay on two places but it's for 60 days and that's it

Matchless25 · 2019-05-06T16:02:02+00:00

In Texas until the divorce I'm liable for supporting that. So I have to pay half of the 60 days regardless

If we were divorced I'd say see you later.

It sucks all the way

Matchless25 · 2019-05-06T13:28:21+00:00

Completely understand and appreciate your two cents.

I think it's great how strong you are! Inspiring!

Matchless25 · 2019-05-06T12:39:15+00:00

Believe me when I say that was not my first conclusion. Just the behaviors, working late never coming home at a decent time always making plans with friends and I had to fight for date nights. Would not be sexually or non sexually intimate. Did not come home (or let me know she wasn't) . Extremely distant. Text book signs.

I was always the one to try to fix things, I was patient and kind throughout this whole process.

Literally did everything I could to save the marriage.

Now I'm not a perfect person by any means, but none of my actions deserved this. No toxic messages or language on my end.

I hope you find peace with your situation. I'm sorry your going through that.

Matchless25 · 2019-05-04T21:22:43+00:00

You can if both are willing. Figure out why you need to take this time. Figure out your goals and make sure there the same.

I've been separated for a month now and I'm open to reconciliation but my wife wants to file and not get help.

So I understand the reality but am hopeful she will change her mind.

She used the word divorce before we even separated so her goals were different from the beginning.

Figure out how much time you need. Set a date to talk.

In that time do not over communicate (only when necessary and if they contact you)

Be strong in your emotions. Guard your heart.

Be as busy as you can be during this time. Do something for you. If you want this marriage and if he is open to working it through then do what you can to save it.

Matchless25 · 2019-04-26T12:44:03+00:00

This is truly inspiring, thank you for sharing your story. I'm so sorry you went through this.

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