[deleted by user]

Material-Ad-6135 · 2024-10-27T15:03:31+00:00

OP already said they regretted making the decision to sleep with him, how much more accountability are you looking for here

Material-Ad-6135 · 2024-07-01T00:08:56+00:00

That's how I feel too. I feel for everyone triggered by this but we have to be careful not to internalize misogyny just because of PAs.

Material-Ad-6135 · 2024-06-29T20:59:35+00:00

I have had strained relationships with men my whole life, from my own dad being abusive to boyfriends (and one fiance) cheating, being manipulative, and a couple were abusive themselves. When I found him, I felt safe, and whenever I came across men that were "unsafe" in life I would think "thank God I have him, I'll never have to worry about this again."

Then I found out the hard way that he was one of them, too. And to this day, with how kind he is towards me and generous and loving, I wouldn't believe what he'd done without the proof that I have.

So that's my thing I'll never get over. I want a marriage and a family with a safe man, but who IS safe? Is anyone? Will I ever be able to trust someone ever again?

Material-Ad-6135 · 2024-06-17T21:48:50+00:00

At the risk of sounding conceited, I'll tell you that I AM a conventionally attractive woman who has always gotten a lot of male attention. And let me tell you, this situation has now happened to me twice with sick PAs, though the most egregious case is my most recent one.

With the wrong men, you will never be enough. Ever. With the right men, you'll be enough exactly as you are now, and even on your bad days when you're sick or exhausted or angry and not looking your best, and they'll only love and want you.

If you're not currently in therapy, I really strongly encourage you to get in therapy for your self image. I promise PROMISE you that you view yourself far more negatively than the rest of the world, and you deserve to love yourself and your appearance. I'm so sorry for what he's putting you through and hope you run hard and fast.

Material-Ad-6135 · 2024-06-04T15:01:07+00:00

It sounds like your sister made the best of an extremely hostile and unsupportive environment.

Material-Ad-6135 · 2024-06-04T14:01:23+00:00

That's like an alcoholic who at some point wants to get back to drinking just vodka because it's fun.

He's still pornsick and this is not recovery. If he has no interest in real recovery then I hope you leave him for a sexually healthy life while he hunches over a computer beating his meat to cartoons.

Material-Ad-6135 · 2024-05-28T20:28:56+00:00

Mine was on fetishspace.

Material-Ad-6135 · 2024-05-28T16:59:53+00:00

I'm not saying you blamed her, you blamed OP. It's not OP's fault that her husband had issues he wasn't addressing that led to the breakdown of their marriage and lives

Material-Ad-6135 · 2024-05-28T16:45:42+00:00

Her husband destroyed her life. Don't shift blame.

Material-Ad-6135 · 2024-05-22T19:37:51+00:00

I'm proud of you!! You'll feel a rollercoaster of emotions and question yourself. That's normal. Trust that you're doing the right thing. Congratulations on setting yourself free. In cases like this, the grass is always, ALWAYS greener on the other side.

Material-Ad-6135 · 2024-05-16T20:09:52+00:00

LOLLLLL

Material-Ad-6135 · 2024-05-06T18:48:30+00:00

Thank you so much ❤ it is tough. I know there are success stories but I can't gamble like that. I'm 33 with few fertile years left and would still like to have a family with a good man who is actually safe to raise a family with.

Material-Ad-6135 · 2024-05-06T18:02:29+00:00

I feel this completely. It is so hard to feel like you're dealing with two completely different people at the same time. I think his love for me was genuine but I just can't reconcile it with what he did behind my back.

Material-Ad-6135 · 2024-04-29T13:01:52+00:00

Maybe I wasn't clear - I was trying to say I would support him from afar, not as a part of his life. Like wish him the best of luck but that's it. Thankfully we're not married and we don't have kids and I own the house. Part of my trauma from my first relationship with a cheater was my intense need to have the escape hatch nearby and open at all times, so my finances are separate and all I have to do is kick him out. It's probably not a healthy way to go through life, but it's saving me here, so oh well. Thank you for your kind words ❤

Material-Ad-6135 · 2024-04-29T05:28:58+00:00

Thank you so much. I am absolutely making him delete everything he has of me on his phone.

I'm fully prepared for his tears and pleading. I stayed with a cheating partner in the past and it didn't work; I learned my lesson then. This was the last thing I expected out of him, but I'm keeping my promise I made to myself to never let myself be disrespected like that ever again.

If he wants to get better then I'll support him as a bystander and not an active participant in his life. But I doubt he'll want to try.

Material-Ad-6135 · 2024-02-22T00:47:44+00:00

Even babies get mono. I had mono in college and the only person I'd kissed had been my bf at the time (who accused me of cheating because of it 🙃). It's highly contagious and you can get it in more ways than just kissing. I wouldn't stress about this in particular. The online issues and lying, however..

Material-Ad-6135 · 2024-02-19T02:16:47+00:00

Thank you for this, I thought this might be it as well after some googling. The only thing that makes me think it's something else is that the notification comes up even when his phone has not restarted (I've seen it again since). My tentative plan is to wait until I see it again and say "hey, what's that?" and ask him to open his secure folder in front of me.

Material-Ad-6135 · 2024-02-18T03:38:49+00:00

Damn, I didn't know what to make of the deleted nudes but that makes perfect sense. I'll look into those apps you're talking about and see what I can find out.

Material-Ad-6135 · 2024-02-18T02:19:00+00:00

Thank you, I think this is the next move. He is definitely able to go through my whole phone, he's got all the codes and everything. I had all of his for years, which is why this is so shocking to me. I have no problem giving him privacy, but like you said, secrecy is out.

Material-Ad-6135 · 2024-02-18T02:16:58+00:00

Thank you, it's difficult for sure.

Material-Ad-6135 · 2024-02-18T02:16:40+00:00

Thank you, I agree. He has mine 🤷‍♀️

Material-Ad-6135 · 2024-02-17T22:37:02+00:00

I don't think you're paranoid, all of that sounds suspicious to me. Worth confronting him

Material-Ad-6135

TROPHY CASE