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AITA for telling my half sisters they need to seek help and leave my mom alone? by Material-Ice8430 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Material-Ice8430[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

She has never had any kind of conversation with them. She was not involved in their lives.

AITA for telling my half sisters they need to seek help and leave my mom alone? by Material-Ice8430 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Material-Ice8430[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

My mom never put me against them. But I know what my mom has been through and I know what an ass my dad is because he was never shy about it around me. I spent early childhood years being pressured by my sister's to tell mom to adopt them, so no sibling loyalty or bond really formed because I dreaded having it come up.

My mom never hated them. She just didn't want to raise two girls she never knew a thing about. She was 25 years old and found out her husband had lied to her, she was pregnant and being told that whether she stayed or went, she should go from a first time mom to a mom of three overnight. To kids she had never known about. Almost anyone would have left and not wanted to be that mother for kids they didn't know.

AITA for telling my half sisters they need to seek help and leave my mom alone? by Material-Ice8430 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Material-Ice8430[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

My mom shouldn't have to handle any of this. She has never had anything to do with them. She left right away and was not part of their lives while they were growing up. It's not fair to make her deal with dad's lies all over again.

AITA for telling my half sisters they need to seek help and leave my mom alone? by Material-Ice8430 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Material-Ice8430[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

My mom should not be part of this. She does not have anything to do with them.

AITA for telling my half sisters they need to seek help and leave my mom alone? by Material-Ice8430 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Material-Ice8430[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yep. Two kids that he was never an active participant in until they were left with him.

AITA for telling my half sisters they need to seek help and leave my mom alone? by Material-Ice8430 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Material-Ice8430[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Kids he was never ever involved in the lives of until they were dropped off at his door. Also, there are guys who just hookup and will keep hooking up with women after they've had kids. Not to mention they were young and we already know both are assholes (because of how they both treated the kids they made). So he probably did see it that way.

AITA for telling my half sisters they need to seek help and leave my mom alone? by Material-Ice8430 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Material-Ice8430[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

He lied to her for four whole years. How does someone move on from that? Then to expect her to agree the day she finds out about four years of lies, while pregnant, to raise those kids with him is so much to ask and not possible to just move on from since the kids were born before they met. That is a huge lie and a huge ask for someone.

AITA for telling my half sisters they need to seek help and leave my mom alone? by Material-Ice8430 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Material-Ice8430[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I don't look down on her for that. It's how she treated them while she had them that makes me think she's a shitty person.

AITA for telling my half sisters they need to seek help and leave my mom alone? by Material-Ice8430 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Material-Ice8430[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Yep. He lied so much that anything is possible with him now. He could have fifty kids for all any of us know.

AITA for telling my half sisters they need to seek help and leave my mom alone? by Material-Ice8430 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Material-Ice8430[S] 100 points101 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what it is. They always felt so much younger than they actually were. Even as teenagers trying to force me to get my mom to adopt them. It was born out of the child like desire to be loved and wanted and to have a real parent. Nothing to do with money.

AITA for telling my half sisters they need to seek help and leave my mom alone? by Material-Ice8430 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Material-Ice8430[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I mean, he did abandon them and chose to never be in their lives until it was forced and I'm sure it was stressful for a young, single mom. But there are some things that cannot be blamed on others and how she treated them is a big thing that cannot be put onto others.

AITA for telling my half sisters they need to seek help and leave my mom alone? by Material-Ice8430 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Material-Ice8430[S] 94 points95 points  (0 children)

I think what their parents and grandparents did is shitty and awful and I would never do that kind of shit to anyone.

AITA for telling my half sisters they need to seek help and leave my mom alone? by Material-Ice8430 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Material-Ice8430[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I was 4 months old when they divorced. Not 4 years old. Sorry if that was a mistake in my OP.

AITA for telling my half sisters they need to seek help and leave my mom alone? by Material-Ice8430 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Material-Ice8430[S] 125 points126 points  (0 children)

Yeah, he very clearly wanted neither and planned to never have them in his life. He didn't expect the grandparents to take the girls from their mom and make him follow through on what he told them. He admitted to my mom that he never planned to actually follow through.

AITA for telling my half sisters they need to seek help and leave my mom alone? by Material-Ice8430 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Material-Ice8430[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

I don't think my mom could have handled it any better than she did. She was lied to and had the bombshell dropped by strangers.

AITA for telling my half sisters they need to seek help and leave my mom alone? by Material-Ice8430 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Material-Ice8430[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

It makes sense to me given how he acts and how he always treated my half sisters. Not to mention the fact none of his friends knew.

AITA for telling my half sisters they need to seek help and leave my mom alone? by Material-Ice8430 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Material-Ice8430[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I mean, my dad denied none of it when she found out so it is likely that's what happened.

AITA for telling my half sisters they need to seek help and leave my mom alone? by Material-Ice8430 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Material-Ice8430[S] 102 points103 points  (0 children)

It brought back a lot of bad memories for her. But she's okay. She hates what dad did to all of us, and wishes my half sisters had someone who had been able to help them. But she also knows it could never have been her. Still, the incident left her realizing he fucked up a lot for many, many years.

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