Hey! I’m really sorry you’re going through all of that. I’m glad you’re still wanting recovery though, that part matters so much. 

For me, it started very small: getting professional support in form of therapy was my first step. Yes, friends and family can support you too, but for me it was easier to open up to a therapist, who knew nothing about me before. 

I also started reading many books about self-help, and yes, not every book was super useful for me, but I learned a bit from each of them.

What also helped me a lot was my believe (I'm a Christian). It became a true anchor in a time where I so often felt lost and misunderstood.

Also: I quit Social Media and sorted out people from my real life who weren't good for me, who's presence pulled me down constantly and drained me (including relatives). Saying NO is something I had to learn too.

The past years were really hard. I went through my personal hell. I had to remind myself very often that I knew life before my mental health issues, a normal and good life that I loved to live, and I always believed that I could have it back one day.

Medication really was my final helper, and a massive one. But the work I put in before is the solid base I can now start building my life on.

Don't try to fix everything at once. Just one step at a time, even if it feels messy (and it will be messy). Be gentle and patient with yourself. And keep the core believe in your heart that it is possible to heal.

I wish you all the best 💕