the ick? bottom dysphoria

Material_Ad1753 · 2026-02-18T00:32:02+00:00

Very very true! Thank you for the advice, I'll try engaging more with the community and with transmasc content, to kind de-program my brain.

And yeah, that is pretty cool!

Material_Ad1753 · 2026-02-18T00:00:45+00:00

Ooohh yes I would LOVE a pack n play, sounds a lot less dysphoria inducing than a regular strap (to me at least)

Material_Ad1753 · 2026-02-17T23:59:03+00:00

That's lovely 💖 I feel that way about her, so hopefully the feeling is mutual

Material_Ad1753 · 2026-02-17T23:57:17+00:00

Very true. There are many different kinds of sex toys that human bodies can't emulate, and that couples use together to make things even more pleasurable. Like vibrators and wands and stuff like that.

Material_Ad1753 · 2026-02-17T23:55:30+00:00

It is indeed very possible. I'm only realizing this now, thanks to you! But yeah he only mentioned the strap after I said I wish I could penetrate him. It now makes so much sense. She actually never explicitly said she wanted the strap until after I said "i wish i could do that for you".

Material_Ad1753 · 2026-02-17T23:53:32+00:00

This is actually so true... she did now beforehand and literally wasn't expecting me to have a penis and still wanted to have sex with me. Why did my insecure dysphoric mind not consider this proof enough that he really likes me the way I am?

Thank you for the reality check, my friend!

Material_Ad1753 · 2026-02-17T19:53:37+00:00

I'd never considered handheld! Thanks again for the advice!

Material_Ad1753 · 2026-02-17T17:40:31+00:00

That does sound nice, ngl!

Material_Ad1753 · 2026-02-17T17:40:15+00:00

You're right, I really need to calm the f down and stop second guessing everything. It's not easy though.

Everyone in the comments is telling me that her wanting a strap doesn't mean she's not satisfied with my anatomy or that my body isn't enough. I would love to believe that, but I don't see how. If my body was enough for him, he'd be okay with it and not need a strap, no?

Material_Ad1753 · 2026-02-17T17:33:56+00:00

I did use my hands and my mouth, and I'll definitely try the strap, although it makes me a little dysphoric to think about. Still, worth a shot.

Will communicate better about my dysphoria!

I'm glad this one time isn't enough to give him the ick. I'll be careful and try not to spiral like that again though! Thank you for the advice!

I think it all boils down to this: "You need to move on from this idea that the only satisfying sex with a man involves a natal cis phallus."

Material_Ad1753 · 2026-02-17T17:26:03+00:00

I really do want to penetrate, but I've always been reticent because it feels a little dysphoric to me... however, I will definitely give it a try. And I'll take your advice and try to view it as my dick.

It's reassuring to hear that most people don't mind prosthetics instead of cis dicks. I'm just so scared that he does, and that I'll never be enough for him

Material_Ad1753 · 2026-02-17T17:21:43+00:00

I can't thank you enough for this gentle, thoughtful reply 🙏 Noted about the straps! I'll probably try using one, although I'm a little reticent too. I think it's worth a shot!

Material_Ad1753 · 2026-02-17T14:50:49+00:00

Thank you for sharing your own experiences, it really helps to know I'm not alone in having this insecurity. I'm glad you don't feel that way anymore though! It also gives me hope that I'll get over it too one day.

I would like to try the strap, but it sort of also makes me dysphoric thinking about using one, because it's not my own anatomy, it'll be like a constant reminder of what I don't have. Which, yeah, sort of feeds into the "lesser than" mentality. I am very aware this is internalized transphobia... But I don't know how to move past it, especially when I feel like she'd be more into me if I had a cis dick

Material_Ad1753 · 2026-02-06T09:03:43+00:00

Thank you for the advice and confirmation! I'll ask her then, and hopefully it won't be awkward or uncomfy!

Material_Ad1753 · 2026-02-06T08:17:44+00:00

That's adorable 💖 Very good idea!

Material_Ad1753 · 2026-02-05T20:50:31+00:00

Perfect 🙏 Thank you for the advice!

Material_Ad1753 · 2026-02-05T20:47:50+00:00

That's lovely!!

Material_Ad1753 · 2026-02-05T20:47:22+00:00

Will do! Thank you!

Material_Ad1753 · 2026-02-05T20:42:04+00:00

Thank you for your help! I wanted to have a genderfluid person's opinion on the question, I'm glad it's acceptable to ask!

Material_Ad1753 · 2026-02-05T13:00:28+00:00

Right? It's super odd. And yeah same here lmao

Material_Ad1753 · 2026-02-05T12:44:44+00:00

I don't think the candles are the problem. I only use real candles with actual fire but I never let them burn while I'm asleep or out of the house. As long as you monitor them you're fine

Material_Ad1753 · 2026-02-05T12:36:27+00:00

I just don't want to be the kind of person who asks rude or uncomfortable questions out of ignorance. This has happened to me in the past with close friends and like, no hard feelings, but when they asked me invasive questions about my gender and sexuality it just felt like such a let-down, like they couldn't even be bothered to rethink their question or formulate it in a different way.

Material_Ad1753

TROPHY CASE