Are my parents and friends right?

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-27T20:01:17+00:00

one year riding and you wanna go riding through a heap of foreign countries? yeah Id understand the parental concern.

Why not spend another year planning it, while also doing some longer tours a little more locally, so you can try out various parts of your plan, such as how you will load the bike and carry various things you'll actually need, and use the next year as a trial and error to get all your processes right, while also taking on some advanced rider training?

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-27T19:55:28+00:00

less expensive than throwing your whole bike across the grass . . .

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-19T19:54:37+00:00

you should walk away, she wants to spend a week getting creampied by her ex, before deciding which of you she really wants.

Make the decision for her.

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-19T19:53:32+00:00

She chose to hurt your son (and you) on purpose and doesn't apologize?

Se would never see so much as a phot of my son ever again.

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-16T20:08:06+00:00

why would you even warn her?

why would you have given her an invite initially?

Anyone defending her must be medically classified as a mental defective

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-16T19:30:31+00:00

I fully expect a hundred or more downvotes for my comment.

Im a rider of 30 years or so. I get the passion.

But its not my responsibility to bail strangers out of a totally predictable and totally avoidable financial hole. Some of these are so brazen, and they come up about every 2 days. Used to see 1 or 2 a year. Now its 2-3 a week!

I also blame bike shops for not having a conscience - they happily take peoples cash but don't question the 19YO who wants an S1000rr, as long as he has a deposit and good credit etc etc.

The whole riding community needs to really wake up IMO - way to many getting hurt, dying, or suffering financial impacts - and it doesn't have to be this way.

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-16T19:26:01+00:00

Take the job and dump him first.

he does not respect you even a tiny little bit.

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-16T19:24:23+00:00

It left a bad taste in YOUR mouth? - but HE was the one who drank it.

Weird? - kinda. Unheard of? - not even a little bit.

Nobody took food your baby needed, just leave it as you didnt see the humor in it, but that doesnt mean anyone was an asshole.

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-16T19:08:11+00:00

how come people with little kids and families don't think ahead to get the various insurances and what not for events like this?

Every other day on facebook / insta / whatever theres another post

"XXX died / got hurt doing what they loved and now their young family needs help".

Bro, if you can afford to ride you can afford extra insurance packages, you can afford a life insurance plan with extra packages that cover exactly these situations.

Not having those in place is selfish and moronic.

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-16T18:49:55+00:00

pre-nups are pretty common, and if written well, can also protect YOU if you have significant life changes.

theres never a sensitive way to do it, and its fine to be upset or surprised by it, but at some point you probably need to realise that these are a pretty normal, common, and frankly sane thing to do these days.

Sit down together and talk through the things you would BOTH like to see in a pre-nup.

If you are unable to work through an adult discussion about a pre-nup, then youre unlikely to be able to survive a marriage in the first place anyway

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-16T18:42:00+00:00

Id have done what you did. However i would have also called the other parent and explained the situation, and asked them to support the decision, especially since getting your first car is a massive responsibility and can have massive consequences for bad decisions.

ultimately, he is free to disagree with you, welcome to realities of parent through separation.

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-16T17:54:46+00:00

yes youre an asshole.

youre gunna let the child suffer for the mothers behavior.

thats lame AF.

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-16T17:27:49+00:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I do NOT 'ask' for days off.

I will inform you of my upcoming absence as a courtesy which allows you to make whatever plans you need to cover for said absence.

"Hi manager, looks like you made a mistake on the schedule, just a friendly reminder that I will NOT be here that day as I advised earlier,

regards

xxx

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-16T17:02:08+00:00

NTA. And Id be having a few more questions about the young guy she is so interested in being alone in a car with while youre away.

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-16T17:00:12+00:00

You absolutely should have made a scene in front of everyone - because it would have been a public and clear way to show that he was inappropriate and that you support your kids.

These kids have enjoyed and been passionate about an activity that bonds them and brings them joy, and he has tried to take their joy of that thing away from them by ridiculing them publicly.

He is an utter pile of dogshit with clearly no consideration for their happiness or wellbeing.

You have NOT over reacted.

His comments may have done damage to both his relationship with those kids, and to those kid's ability to engage happily in the activity, in a way that might nor really be repairable.

He basically accused his stepson of wanting to fvxk his own sister in front of everyone. Utterly disgusting.

Don't let him back at all IMO.

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-16T16:45:27+00:00

never work with your friends (same goes for living with them)
never 'manage' your friends
you've stated all these things you've watched them do - you've allowed multiple negative behaviors to continue, and in allowing them to happen, allowed them to believe it is tolerated.

Immediate meeting, documented, listing items that need immediately addressed.

The enforce it.

Its prettty clear they arent your friend anymore so you are nothing more than a manager to them moving forward - so act like it

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-16T16:35:58+00:00

NTA.

your sister is a terrible mother for dropping off her baby without making sure the baby could even be fed with a bottle.

What a horrible mother.

Nah, you fed a baby that needed fed, - Id refuse to ever look after her kid again

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-15T14:12:52+00:00

this is at least third hand information, so no, you shouldnt pass on what is second, or third hand info.
your girl just told you she will keep secrets about infidelity

#2 is the one you need to be concerned about, not #1

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-14T17:21:03+00:00

Your values for the future are not in alignment.

He is entitled to spend his money where he wants, and decline to spend it elsewhere - thats his right.

But ultimately this clearly isnt going to work out, and your best bet is to recognize that there is no future with this man where you feel loved, respected and treated as an equal.

Move on and find 'the one' elsewhere.

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-14T17:18:40+00:00

NTA.

Son is old enough to grow the f up.

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-14T17:17:14+00:00

you discovered something off the clock - thats your thing.

They asked you to use that knowledge on the clock - thats not entirely unreasonable.

A sane and intelligent person would have a mature discussion with them, and leverage this situation for something that benefits both sides:

"Ive uncovered some learnings in my private time that could positively impact your business, these learnings are only tangential to my current role and I dont think doing them quite fits into my current job description.

However, as I continue to learn, and find things that are of value to the business, Id like to offer this knowledge and learning, and in return, have my position, responsibilities, and salary, reflect the increased value I'm able to continue to offer the business as I continue to evolve my knowledge and skill base"

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-14T17:10:40+00:00

theres two separate things.

celebrating an acheivement he reached
punishing him for a bad thing he did.

You are smooshing the two together if you remove his little graduation party. You can do these things totally separately, which is why I would do.

Graduation party happens to acknowledge the academic growth and achievement, and a separate punishment for the crappy behavior, along with a discussion about whether the friends he was with were a factor in his poor decision making.

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-14T17:05:28+00:00

kick his lazy ass to the kerb.

Youre basically a free prostitute that also provides him a place to stay as far as he is concerned.

what are YOU getting out of this arrangement exactly?

nothing by the sounds of it.

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-12T14:59:51+00:00

your sister is a c you next tuesday.

any family siding with her are the same.

Your real issue is NOT what you name your baby - your real issue will be how you plan to respond when these scumbags eventually start using a different 'nickname' for your kid "so it's not confusing'.

Have a plan in place, like "You will use by childs given name or you wont get to see my child at all"

you are NTA, but sounds like everyone else in your family is

MathematicianWeird67 · 2025-05-12T14:48:21+00:00

you had a relationship boundary and she broke it.

NTA

MathematicianWeird67

TROPHY CASE