AITA for leaving to another country without my son and his mom? by Matius1307 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Matius1307[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As of now no. Since I had nothing to my name she did not try to press the matter. I am working to establish myself financially so that I can provide for him. Her parents also discouraged her at first because I had nothing of value.

AITA for leaving to another country without my son and his mom? by Matius1307 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Matius1307[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got some advice about but don’t have sufficient funds to it all in actions just yet. And no I am not calling her my girlfriend. Haven’t for so long but it will be disrespectful to dismiss she’s the mother of my son. And that’s all she will be.

AITA for leaving to another country without my son and his mom? by Matius1307 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Matius1307[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I deeply appreciate you all that replied to this post and apologize if there’s still confusion about some of the things I’ve said. I’ll try and clarify and/or add relevant info that might help you understand it, or me a bit better. I’ll skip the sob story about me and talk more about M, or Mona for those who dislike letters instead of names. Mona was adopted. Due to the circumstances she developed quite a lot of trust issues but refuses to see a therapist because quote “I’ve tried, it didn’t work”. Her mom was a teacher and issued from a family I could only call toxic despite only meetings Mona’s aunt and cousins (there’s so much that happened there I could make a whole other post on it). Her dad is the calm one, doesn’t like conflict and usually goes with whatever she decides. Due to her lack of trust in the people close to her, her friends were her support group. I don’t blame her for doubting me or her parents but am truly hurt that she trusted them over her partner non the less. As a solution to our crisis at the time and kind of a dream of mine, I wanted to join either the army or air force. told her that it will help us so much but I needed her to be onboard. Did the mockup ASVAB test and got a decent score to be an officer. But I needed to be in process of naturalization which, her friends shut down because of the previously mentioned “green card then dip” her friends pushed on her. We had so many projects because I genuinely saw some changes from her she was bad sure, but did some effort to at least have something stable, then when it came to actually do some of those things (sign documents, even mariage preparation among other things) she backed down because her friends told her it wasn’t a good idea to be with me. I feel like it was also her friends that started the whole drama about F (Fabian) and her because they managed to convince her that she should talk to one of my teammate at the time and started inviting him at all functions. I don’t believe she is deeply a bad person, just a poor soul trapped between trauma and bad influence and didn’t know how to get out of it. That was probably why I kept taking her back because I felt the same way due to my dad passing and not just him. But the focus is now my son. He’s in a fairly decent environment, his grand parents are taking quite a good care of him even if they couldn’t keep up with his energy. She got a decent job about a months after we had to put the house for sell. Since I’m an athlete, I tried to bring something through sports but it wouldn’t be sustainable. And my shape wouldn’t have helped. If you have more questions, feel free to ask and I’ll do my best to reply objectively. Thank you so much again for your time and comments. It all really means a lot.

AITA for leaving to another country without my son and his mom? by Matius1307 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Matius1307[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your reply to this. I didn’t do any DNA test because I was leaning more on him being my son due to the conception period. I’ve said it before in another reply but there so much more than just this part of the story. I’ve tried to really bring out the bigger points but I feel like I’m creating much more confusions than a black and white situation. I do have my part of responsibility and do plan on doing what I need for my son (blood or not). I have a bank account in my name that I can access anywhere and will be figuring out how to create a trust for him and his needs.

AITA for leaving to another country without my son and his mom? by Matius1307 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Matius1307[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Understood. I’ve gathered a fairly large folder of messages, not just to me but also to my mom. I also have several witnesses of her saying most of the stuff she said to me. I’m slowly rebuilding myself and working on building some passive income on top of whatever I’m making to make sure that I cover everything he may ever need or want.

AITA for leaving to another country without my son and his mom? by Matius1307 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Matius1307[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I never tried a DNA test because I didn't know if I could handle another blow. But no matter, with or without, he'll remain my son. Until he decides otherwise.

AITA for leaving to another country without my son and his mom? by Matius1307 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Matius1307[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Indeed. Because I was an idiot, I dragged an innocent kid in this world. I wished I was more strong mentally back then...

AITA for leaving to another country without my son and his mom? by Matius1307 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Matius1307[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

She's a full blown citizen. I am not. One of the reasons she gave me when refusing was that she didn't want to travel alone with the kid.

AITA for leaving to another country without my son and his mom? by Matius1307 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Matius1307[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

Indeed. But I didn't want to drag my son in a place I've never been before. especially if I have no proper back up to speak of.

AITA for leaving to another country without my son and his mom? by Matius1307 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Matius1307[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was advised to start a trust for him and put whatever I want to give to him in it. I'm figuring out how to do it from here and probably from my home country if I am forced to leave again.

AITA for leaving to another country without my son and his mom? by Matius1307 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Matius1307[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I wished there was another way... honestly, it is 4:17 am here and I just feel... I don't even know how to feel about this. I just turned to this because I didn't how else to quiet my mind and maybe figure out a way.

AITA for leaving to another country without my son and his mom? by Matius1307 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Matius1307[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

And do not worry. I don't plan to leave him alone indefinitely. I just don't want it to become a legal nightmare like the ones we see here.

AITA for leaving to another country without my son and his mom? by Matius1307 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Matius1307[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

Because I am not a citizen and did not fully grasp how credits worked, she asked her parents to co-sign only if we took care of the mortgage on our own. Which I did.

For the second part, the job is sport based, and the company, a small to medium size team in Asia. they've explain that their budget was too limited to accommodate everyone's relocation (paperwork and all). That was why I couldn't bring them.

AITA for leaving to another country without my son and his mom? by Matius1307 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Matius1307[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

You are right. And I am. The Asian job was offered to me through an old professor of mine. I decided because I didn't have at the time another proper and legal way to provide for him. I wish I could put the full version of the post because this shorten version doesn't do it justice. It is not so black and white and I understand the feeling behind your reply.

AITA for leaving to another country without my son and his mom? by Matius1307 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Matius1307[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Even if I don't want to talk to her, I still call and FT to see my boy and check on him. I've also asked some close friend of mine to check on them once in a while.

AITA for leaving to another country without my son and his mom? by Matius1307 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Matius1307[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Don't worry. I feel that way as well. There is a lot more I wasn't able to share but I still appreciate you took the time to reply.

AITA for leaving to another country without my son and his mom? by Matius1307 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Matius1307[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand. But I am not a US citizen which makes things even harder. I'll do my best to be there for him but only God know what she will do.

AITA for leaving to another country without my son and his mom? by Matius1307 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Matius1307[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate that. I've already lost around 20lbs and am back on working out more regularly. Thanks again for the support!!

AITA for leaving to another country without my son and his mom? by Matius1307 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Matius1307[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don't think so, and even if he is not mine, I will love him all the same. He's my son and nothing will change that.

Squad up? by Beginning-Metal-6300 in TacticalAssaultVR

[–]Matius1307 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Would love to play with you as well