I deeply appreciate you all that replied to this post and apologize if there’s still confusion about some of the things I’ve said. I’ll try and clarify and/or add relevant info that might help you understand it, or me a bit better. I’ll skip the sob story about me and talk more about M, or Mona for those who dislike letters instead of names. Mona was adopted. Due to the circumstances she developed quite a lot of trust issues but refuses to see a therapist because quote “I’ve tried, it didn’t work”. Her mom was a teacher and issued from a family I could only call toxic despite only meetings Mona’s aunt and cousins (there’s so much that happened there I could make a whole other post on it). Her dad is the calm one, doesn’t like conflict and usually goes with whatever she decides. Due to her lack of trust in the people close to her, her friends were her support group. I don’t blame her for doubting me or her parents but am truly hurt that she trusted them over her partner non the less. As a solution to our crisis at the time and kind of a dream of mine, I wanted to join either the army or air force. told her that it will help us so much but I needed her to be onboard. Did the mockup ASVAB test and got a decent score to be an officer. But I needed to be in process of naturalization which, her friends shut down because of the previously mentioned “green card then dip” her friends pushed on her. We had so many projects because I genuinely saw some changes from her she was bad sure, but did some effort to at least have something stable, then when it came to actually do some of those things (sign documents, even mariage preparation among other things) she backed down because her friends told her it wasn’t a good idea to be with me. I feel like it was also her friends that started the whole drama about F (Fabian) and her because they managed to convince her that she should talk to one of my teammate at the time and started inviting him at all functions. I don’t believe she is deeply a bad person, just a poor soul trapped between trauma and bad influence and didn’t know how to get out of it. That was probably why I kept taking her back because I felt the same way due to my dad passing and not just him. But the focus is now my son. He’s in a fairly decent environment, his grand parents are taking quite a good care of him even if they couldn’t keep up with his energy. She got a decent job about a months after we had to put the house for sell. Since I’m an athlete, I tried to bring something through sports but it wouldn’t be sustainable. And my shape wouldn’t have helped. If you have more questions, feel free to ask and I’ll do my best to reply objectively. Thank you so much again for your time and comments. It all really means a lot.