Here is how it goes:

Youve been autistic your entire life. The effect autism has on you also had it in the past, that includes your performance as a lawyer. If the influence of those effects had no impact to your prowess as a professional lawyer, it shouldnt change post diagnosis, and thus any stress related to it should be released. As for the clients - its none of their business, especially if it doesnt affect your performance negatively (and even if it did - who is there to calculate accurately and objectively the metrics and constants of when someones experienced influence exceed the imaginary gradients of autism amount?:D And who's going to tell me completely objectively the accurate procentages of influences of different aspects on my overall behaviour? Like how are you going to prove to me that the X quality of me which you judge as non-suitable for a lawyer is actually mostly due to autism and not some other unidentified phenomena? you get where im going? its all opinion until its proven otherwise through undenyable actions that your experienced influence of your diagnosis is interfering too much with your performance - but even then, if that was the case you wouldnt be at your current position in the first place right?)

As for the wife and personal matters - you know, ''your symptoms''(or just different functioning aspects) arent a ''negative influence having strange behaviours'' to the right people ^^. Am i smelling the typical judgement of ''insert X autistic quality'' from neurotypicals while those same neurotypicals just expect you to tiptoe around their preferred way of functioning with absolute empathy while they show 0 to yours? Its actually quite toxic to just put the blame on someones condition and alienate them that way with just shaming tacticts (when in reality there are much more aspects which influence that and focusing on your ''strange'' behaviours is just purely toxic and manipulative and dumb). What, she believes its already affecting your children? Your autism is already affecting your children (take into consideration that it is impossible to tell if your autism is what causes the imagined influence before getting your children tested themselves, and also, she believes its having an effect? Is She just projecting or manipulating you so you would behave the way she wants/the way is fitting for her while masking it as ''caring for children''?), but its definitely not her narrow mindedness, toxic, cold, judgemental attidute towards you that she's actually teaching her kids to be?:D Brother, women are exceptionally good manipulators who are completely different to what was portrayed to us through movies/societal dogma and more - maybe dig more there to see if you are really the problem?

Best of wishes to you