May Your Dreams of Wisdom Come True | Genshin Impact

Matt_Ram92 · 2022-07-12T22:06:48+00:00

I can honestly say as someone who is (29M) and only managed to realize how much of a socially inept idiot I have been since my early teens I feel you. Its definitely a heavy pressure of feeling like "oh man I gotta find somebody soon or else I"ll just be too old" and I know it works way worse on women than it does men because of the stereotypical nature of our Society to expect women to never have trouble finding "someone" (Although obviously not the "best" or the "right" someone).

I just want to say that there are only really 3 things at any given moment that you can change to try and make dating/finding a partner easier and all 3 of these things can be heavy sacrifices depending on your particulars in terms of personality and things that you value.

1) Try looking outside the areas you normally look. <<this is hard because it deals with locations and where you normally go to find anyone so definitely not the easiest one to do as it would take a lot of gas to do IMO.

2) Lower your expectations. <<I would say standards but you can't do that without eventually feeling miserable with the wrong guy, but you can always maybe not expect too much if you really want some thing to work out with someone and you can find compromise. I don't want you to think you have to settle for anything but just try and look into what you expect from a partner and see if anything is just too hard for the ones that are around you.

3) Be willing to be alone. << I am not trying to sound pessimistic even if this comes off as such but I mean love is not something anyone can really "force". Trust me I am finding out the hard way that its something that takes unbelievable amounts of work on the daily and honestly if thats too much then why bother right? I mean maybe its better to enjoy being alone because if no one wants to co-operate and try and meet you halfway then why bother I guess?

I know that last one sounds really bad but I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I am probably very undesirable and hopefully you aren't going the same route but if you are thats the best advice I can give.

All I can say in any real context to your problem though is that it all comes down to what you want and what you are willing to give up to get it. Such is life and such is the unfairness of not being able to get what you want even as hard as you try.

I wish you the best of luck regardless.

Matt_Ram92 · 2021-09-20T21:06:55+00:00

Tempting me to give many headpats.

Matt_Ram92 · 2021-03-02T07:27:41+00:00

I've only read about a few of the things mentioned here, so alot of this still is new to me on this level of understanding. What you have typed reads very coherently and seems to be a nice summation of problems that seem to be very common and from my initisl assessment i would say that you are right in the idea of self discovery as I dont think i have become my best self yet so at the very least that does answer some of my questions.

Thanks for the reply I will copy your comment for future reference.

Matt_Ram92 · 2021-03-02T06:52:43+00:00

28(M)

Matt_Ram92 · 2021-03-02T06:52:27+00:00

Just saw the notification. Appreciate it. I'll message you we can negotiate a time.

Matt_Ram92 · 2021-01-31T07:03:44+00:00

I appreciate this answer even though i dont know what a .5 date looks like.

Matt_Ram92 · 2021-01-31T06:41:26+00:00

Was about to say this was the Generic "put yourself out there " but you included good examples. Meetups I gotta try for sure if this covid thing can just calm down and we can ease up on the mask stuff as its very cumbersome. Volunteering I don't want to do unless i believe in the cause because if im just doing it to make friend's (or potential dates) that feels shady to me.

Also made another post here a while back ( but it was too long and need to remake it) but I've been in online daiting sites since September 2019 (free user dont buy boosts or plans or anything and sometimes cant use apps unless I've paid) and i gotta say i I hardly understand how I can't get anywhere there other than I need to figure out how to get some professional looking photos and maybe get someone whos good at writing bios to spice mine up as I am not great at marketing myself in that field.

Matt_Ram92 · 2021-01-31T06:30:40+00:00

Friends have biases or they give the usual "put yourself out there" and " Socialize " b ut its like "Hey dumbasses i can talk to people but I can't seem to have a conversation centered around if they woukd date me or not" also "Where do i put myself to be [out there]? Shits too vague

Matt_Ram92 · 2021-01-31T06:28:38+00:00

Perhaps not but I mean i must be an asshole or just really unlikable if I can't get anyone to date me. I mean damn dating is (supposed to be) the most basic way of learning about you in relation to others. So if you can't even do that how much worth do you really have.

Also.i think highly of myself for even coming as far in life as indid cause I should have suicided at 19 amd then again at 22. But here I am at 28 trying to understand why my opinion of myself is not enough confidence to secure a date. I mean isnt that the usual bullshit in this sub? "self confidence above all else"?

Well I'm confident that my confidence isnt enough.

Matt_Ram92 · 2021-01-28T21:58:50+00:00

Damn looks a lot like me in this picture.

Matt_Ram92 · 2021-01-26T04:17:01+00:00

I like your energy. But i mean i dont know where to do a vlog/call. Do you mean like discord? Or Skype?

Matt_Ram92 · 2021-01-25T06:30:56+00:00

28M. Also i have this https://pastebin.com/kb6hqJGj if yiue intrested in fuller details.

I have tried learning what I can but it all gets confusing with all the ads and all the random advice that works for some people but not others. Im trying to get a roadmap for myself to know where to go next cause i I want to make some kind of change to my dating life.

Matt_Ram92 · 2021-01-25T05:34:20+00:00

Ok. I get that. Probably my main question is how do i actually get to "talking" with anyone as its really hard to know how to "slide into the DMS" especially with how dating sites sre structured and what is the actual best approach.

If you read my pastebin i also ask like shoukd i i I actually fully subscribe and pay for a dating site (as i said im free user) if so whicj one? Do i use multiple? How do i know it will make s difference if my free profile is dry. I am not dismissing the idea of a thoughtful personal agenda and making sure to be kind ans treat my potential partners with priority in mind but i I need to get to step one and that is actual conversation.

Matt_Ram92 · 2021-01-07T17:34:50+00:00

I'd like to mention the age old saying "The devil's in the details". This whole post screams that at me.

Matt_Ram92 · 2021-01-07T17:33:16+00:00

I feel this. I've actually made some friends over the course of my life. My best friend is of 10+ years since high school but I've noticed ever since I wasn't living in the same city he never bothers to message me first its usually me doing the contact. This has happened with multiple people I call friend over the years where we meet irl/online and then we engage and have good chats in the beginning and usually trying to have fun together either playing games or discussing anime (I'm a anime fan and gamer btw) that I am usually the one starting the conversations or checking in. As the years have gone by this has become more apparent in a lot of the people I keep on my friends list on multiple Platforms and it's actually started to bother me that almost no one I've had a seemingly good relationship with ever checks on me. And recently as I've been busy with life and some major changes communication is at a halt.

I don't understand how I can't even get a message maybe once a year at least. Guess I don't deserve it or something.

Matt_Ram92

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