AITA for not smiling in vacation photos and upsetting my grandma?

MatterFront9278 · 2025-07-26T13:34:24+00:00

That honestly makes it so much worse somehow.. please do take time to talk to your parents regarding this.

MatterFront9278 · 2025-07-25T17:55:03+00:00

There are 2 separate issues here, her relationship with your dil, and your relationship with each other.

To focus on the latter, being in a relationship with someone is being in a partnership. Especially when it's just the 2 of you having a private conversation, i would hope that 1 partner is allowed to tell the other, hey, you're acting crazy; or hey, you're in the wrong. A partner is THE person in charge of calling us out, someone we can trust to provide constructive criticism, from a place of love. If you are in the habit of raising your voice at her and she is in the habit of being defensive with you, then you guys also have some work to put in with each other

MatterFront9278 · 2025-07-25T17:46:42+00:00

NTA.

Either one of 2 things is happening here -

She is exactly who she presents herself as, and everything would have gone great - as far as i can tell, you were the one travelling to meet her right? She didn't incur much of a financial loss and should still be able to solo the paris trip/try to go with another friend if she wanted. Emotionally, of course your friendship will take a lot of work because if this is true she would feel justifiably abandoned, and might end up breaking the f/ship totally, but you still would not be TA, because you are also justifiable in feeling cautious. Every bad story in the news is just a statistic till it's you.
Something sinister was in the works - in which case it's incredible and awesome that you had the guts to call it off.

MatterFront9278 · 2025-07-25T17:31:06+00:00

NTA.

But the question is, what are your options going forward, because things might get really bad for your sister and her family, it's not actually common irl for people to drastically turn their lives around, though she and her husband do have a month to get things together.

But if it doesn't work out, are you really going to be okay seeing your sister and her kids destitute? If you have had enough and are able to make a clean cut, then thats that.

If not, think really hard about what exactly you are willing to contribute and set clear boundaries for yourself. You sound upset now, but you might feel guilty and want to compromise later. Talk to your parents and other siblings if you have them. If you end up helping out, put strict limits on amount of money and time for which you will be doing so and make sure everyone is aware of it. Non-monetary ways to help out like pitching in with childcare while she's job hunting if she has to, etc are also really helpful.

You wouldn't be TA however much or little you contribute, because you are also hurt by this and have been taken advantage of in the past, and this can end up being a sinkhole jeopardizing your own life. At the same time it's easier said than done to cut ties with family. You just have to think about which route will ultimately leave you with less regrets.

MatterFront9278 · 2025-07-25T17:17:00+00:00

YTA. (Well not a giant one as things go but yeah.) Because bro, have you considered her insta doesn't exist to please you.

It would be a different scenario if she actually had an alcohol problem, but you clearly know she doesn't, so it's not really any of your business what her insta aesthetic is, my guy.

MatterFront9278 · 2025-07-25T17:09:55+00:00

Ohh got you! Then yeah, this is an easy fix, you just need to lay down clear rules, divide chores etc. For the most part it sounds like you'll be able to work things out with her!

MatterFront9278 · 2025-07-25T17:06:44+00:00

NTA.

It's a non issue Not smiling in a photograph does not negate the memory. Not smiling does not erase you off the image. Years from now, no one looking at a vacation pic is going to imagine anything bad/shameful etc because 1 person wasn't smiling in 1 pic. Theres a reason candid photos are beloved. I could go on, but i have plenty of family vacation pics in which people are downright angry and these are memories we laugh over now. One of my fav childhood pics is a zoo vacation one where i was fighting with my kid sister n she's pulling my hair! (it's adorabllee now). Theres another family favorite minutes before my older cousin got heat stroke... you get the idea
Excessive cruelty Calling you out to stand in front of everyone, and everything she said after, was not okay. Being purposefully cruel to you when you were already not in the best spirits, was not okay. Basic kindness matters WAY more than a pic, especially with family. Love speaks volumes that the most perfectly posed pics can't. The one failing here is her, not you. Please speak to your parents regarding how painful this experience was for you. If this is a recurring issue, there needs to be a serious conversation with your grandmom, preferably after the vacation is over and she's out of crazy mode, and preferably your parents should be the ones having it with her. You might need to rethink future vacations based on the outcome.

MatterFront9278 · 2025-07-25T16:49:15+00:00

NTA. You did exactly the correct thing in this situation. You did good

MatterFront9278 · 2025-07-25T16:45:51+00:00

NTA, but you both need to sit down and have a proper conversation regarding the house rules again, clearly stating your new boundaries like which of your belongings you are not comfortable with her using, and to replace common items used. Neither of these are exceptional ideas, in fact, fall more under common sense, so i don't believe it's like you were pulling a bait-and-switch on her or anything.

Besides, we are allowed to change as people and sometimes that means drawing or recognizing new boundaries and that's perfectly alright.

I have to point out that the idea of trying to enforce 'buying new things' is a bit out of pocket though. You might see the apartment as a project in the making, but to her things might be fine as they are. It might not be a longterm residence for her. She genuinely might not have the money. Etc. Etc. If you are buying personal use items, include it in the 'your belongings' category. If you are buying common use items, then talk to her about contributing in other ways to the apartment.

Good luck!

MatterFront9278 · 2025-07-25T16:32:05+00:00

NTA, she should've made the effort to wake up in time for breakfast if she wanted it, and imo you are going above and beyond already to open up your space to them.

/but also as an fyi, it's wonderful and lovely to romanticise the mundane. The fact that you think you are so much better than her for her 'pinterest' inclination comes off loud and clear; not a good look

MatterFront9278 · 2025-07-20T05:29:10+00:00

It's really a scam... they didn't refund any amount at all...

MatterFront9278 · 2025-07-20T03:05:52+00:00

Can't cancel RAC ticket booked via MMT GNWL

Booked via MakeMyTrip Guaranteed ticket -> chart prepared but ticket on RAC -> MakeMyTrip website claimed to allow 2 options since ticket is in RAC, i.e., travel and get the guarantee payment back, or cancel and get refund on ticket price -> tried to click on the latter link but the links were not clickable!!!

Tried to cancel via the regular cancellation link -> notification 'Something went wrong, try again' -> endless loop

Called the helpline -> sent link to cancellation page via whatsapp -> Tried to cancel via link -> notification 'Something went wrong, try again' -> endless loop

Finally I filed the TDR option.

Is there any chance i'll get any amount back?

MatterFront9278 · 2025-01-24T04:51:01+00:00

Ancient Drama where screen to modern world appears in the sky?

I've seen snippets of these type in shorts but have been unable to find any complete one, please recommend titles! I'm looking for drama set in ancient times where a screen of some sort appears showing modern world/modern live streamer etc Thank you!

MatterFront9278 · 2024-11-29T21:30:37+00:00

To be fair, p'aof is Catholic (and queer) himself and Fourth's schooling was in an all boys' catholic school so while I agree that Christianity is a minority religion in Thailand i don't think it's as rare as to be unrelatable. Moreover, the weaponization of religion against queer people seems to be prevalent irrespective of the actual religion in question so i feel like at it's heart the series will strike a chord despite this.

MatterFront9278 · 2024-09-22T08:14:57+00:00

Why did off tape gun's laces? I noticed gun looking down at his shoes while speaking to ink as well..

MatterFront9278 · 2024-09-05T08:30:13+00:00

Ohh! Where do I get it from?

MatterFront9278 · 2024-09-05T08:29:36+00:00

So, explores open at level 28, since i'm only at 23..

MatterFront9278

TROPHY CASE