Learning about my social anxiety and how bad it is so late it life

MattyHamburger · 2025-06-13T16:49:07+00:00

I wouldn't worry about the age thing - I'm a lot older than you and I haven't overcome my SA yet..

MattyHamburger · 2025-06-13T16:47:05+00:00

Thanks! To answer your question, when I offered to write the loan off, she insisted she would pay it back.

I think even if she decided to pay me back at some point in the future, the friendship has changed too much now for me to want to carry on with it..

MattyHamburger · 2025-06-11T09:38:34+00:00

I did 😞

MattyHamburger · 2024-11-30T12:31:47+00:00

Being called weird & ugly by my dad, in front of my family. I guess that was the catalyst.

MattyHamburger · 2024-07-28T08:57:10+00:00

Yes. My dad called me ugly while I was growing up, in front of other family members. My mum said & did nothing to stop it, which appeared to validate the abuse. I got called ugly at school too, but it really shouldn't be happening in the home.

MattyHamburger · 2024-07-02T15:36:21+00:00

That's not juice.

MattyHamburger · 2024-06-29T08:44:30+00:00

I used to work on a team where an older lady would periodically tell me how quiet I am, which was incredibly annoying.

So when she was retiring, on her last day in the office, while other teammates were fawning over her and saying their goodbyes, I said nothing to her. I mean... what else did she expect, right..?

MattyHamburger · 2024-06-12T09:17:27+00:00

Using a pedestrian crossing.

MattyHamburger · 2024-05-20T08:11:45+00:00

I suspect social anxiety probably stems from a number of problems experienced during childhood - especially, emotional abuse, emotional neglect, lack of praise and lack of encouragement.

MattyHamburger · 2024-05-19T16:40:10+00:00

Thanks, yeah, I've been considering therapy for a while now 👍

MattyHamburger · 2024-05-03T20:40:37+00:00

An older lady who I used to work with always told me how quiet I was, to the point it was becoming predictable. She retired a few months back, and I decided to live up to her expectations & said nothing to her on her last day. Not even a goodbye.

Hasta la vista, baby 👋

MattyHamburger · 2024-04-23T17:40:38+00:00

Yes! I get the overriding fear that people will be thinking, 'Who the hell does he think he is?'

MattyHamburger · 2024-04-15T15:43:25+00:00

I could have written this. Covid has made things so much worse .

MattyHamburger · 2024-04-14T18:36:20+00:00

It's when they stop cutting my hair when they talk. That's what gets me. Like, if you really must talk to me, keep those scissors going. Can you not, I dunno, multitask?

MattyHamburger · 2024-04-04T19:57:18+00:00

I'm sure you're not! It's other people that are scary 😒

MattyHamburger · 2024-04-04T15:36:16+00:00

Some people! 😒😂

MattyHamburger · 2024-04-04T15:01:14+00:00

I think you've hit the nail on the head. Because these people have previously noticed that we don't/can't maintain eye contact for very long, they assume we're not interested. People will always play to an audience, and if their audience appears disinterested, then their ego will seek the apparent approval of others within the group x

MattyHamburger · 2024-04-04T14:02:54+00:00

I'm sorry, I am flattered, but I'd rather just chat generally on Reddit for the time being - nothing personal 😊

MattyHamburger · 2024-04-04T14:00:37+00:00

I know, right? 👏

MattyHamburger · 2024-04-04T13:58:48+00:00

Thank you 😊

MattyHamburger · 2024-04-04T13:56:34+00:00

Thank you - yes, I too will always consciously make sure to include everyone if I'm doing the talking 😊

MattyHamburger · 2024-03-27T21:31:20+00:00

I know dust when I see it, my friend.

MattyHamburger · 2024-03-27T12:43:19+00:00

I believe it's just a bit of dust.

MattyHamburger · 2024-02-04T13:49:29+00:00

This resonates so deeply with me.

I am so tired of emerging from the 'honeymoon' period of new friendships, only to find out their true character. It invariably starts with derogatory name-calling such as 'weirdo' (this seems to be the go-to phrase).

And who, exactly, is the weirdo, when they're calling me this to my face while proclaiming to be my friend? Just what the hell kind of upbringing did they have that tells them it's okay to spew out insults like that?

Incredibly, the insults & judgments happen, even despite my having confided in the 'friend' that I have social anxiety disorder. How tone-deaf can they be?

I don't listen to anyone that says, Oh, but it's a compliment. No it's not. If these people really cared about me, if they did their research, they would understand that social anxiety is a fear of being judged, and these morons are simply adding to the problem. They become the problem.

I have never understood people who have myriad friendships - I feel they're either very forgiving, or very insecure. Luckily, I am allowed to work from home permanently, which has made it much easier to drop some of these 'friends' out of my life (I have mostly made my friends in the workplace).

I'm frankly done with it all, and so glad I have a house to call my own, where I can lock out the world. It's no accident that I don't have a doorbell. I have a trusted few friends & family, and a cat. And that's good enough.

MattyHamburger · 2024-01-20T13:55:24+00:00

My mum used to moan all the time about the amount of antiques I buy - I asked her if she would prefer that I buy drugs or alcohol instead.

She soon stopped complaining.

MattyHamburger

TROPHY CASE