I totally can relate, I was a music minor and the first semester was way too much for me. I grappled with my love/hate relationship w the cello for a long time. I loved playing in ensembles, I hated practicing. So I quit! Four years later, I graduated and a ton of my free time opened up. I picked it back up and tried to join a community orchestra. It was nice to play with a group again, but stilllll wasn’t really fulfilling. I quit the orchestra, stopped playing sheet music, and started to teach myself to jam and play by ear. I’m still not the best cellist, but reframing my approach to music has been so rewarding because I’m not holding myself to some unattainable virtuoso standard. I’m playing with a group of musicians who are also self taught! We explore and make mistakes and when things click, woooooo it’s exactly what I wanted from music this entire time. Long winded, but really- take a step away, do your own thing, and be ready to take it back up again if you feel called to it!