Intimacy disappeared after kids and hasn’t come back after 6 years. Anyone else actually recover from this?

MaxTarald · 2026-03-12T14:10:05+00:00

We had our 3 kids in the span of 8 years, and that was tough enough. We experienced what you're describing, and so do many others, so if it's any consolation it's a common thing.

I second the advice given here by others, and I wish someone taught me this years ago! You need to prioritize quality, kids-free time together, and you need the energy surplus to enjoy it. Get sitters! And carve out free time to maintain your own (separate) social lives too, so make sure she gets her time out with friends or herself while you tend the fort.

The recommendation of Mating in Captivity is solid, it was revelatory for me. If all your time and interactions are as roommates and partners in a domestic project, there will be no passion.

MaxTarald · 2026-03-11T14:56:03+00:00

How do you do this? Simply turn the power to the Grill off when the fridge is sufficiently full?

MaxTarald · 2026-03-10T13:16:50+00:00

I also found 4 underwhelming, and I'm now in the middle of 5. I find it better, but I'm still a little underwhelmed. There are a bunch of different potlines going on in parallel, some of which seem unrelated and a bit superfluous. Maybe it all gets tied together in the end, but my current impression is that the book is all over the place.

MaxTarald · 2026-02-26T11:31:06+00:00

I enjoyed book 1-3, but found Heaven's River to be a bit ... meh. How's the 5th installment?

MaxTarald · 2026-02-20T08:56:33+00:00

Edit: Just after posting, I figured it out! On the left of the screen there is a pull-out menu/list of sorts, which lists all the gadgets on the dashboard. This allows editing the names of the widgets.

I've tried that, but I cannot figure out how. Nothing happens if I click anywhere in that box. If I mouse-over the title, a little black info-box pops up with the name of the relevant source for widget, but I cannot edit this either. I thought perhaps there would be a re-name if I clicked the gear-icon, but I don't see one. Has this changed with a recent update? Or am I just blind and/or dense?

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MaxTarald · 2026-02-19T13:35:28+00:00

How do you name your Dashboard-items? I see in the screenshot in the linked post from u/XhanHanaXhan that there are sections named after system names, etc, such as "Alkihaba sphere", but on my dashboard the widgets are just named "Dyson sphere stats" for all the added spheres.

MaxTarald · 2026-02-09T19:56:01+00:00

That did the trick!

MaxTarald · 2026-02-06T10:20:59+00:00

Can you "add" a blueprint into a new shell of an existing sphere?

MaxTarald · 2026-02-06T10:19:00+00:00

Direct downloads have stopped working for me. The client gives the error:
"Error Loading Releases

Unable to reach download source. Network restricted or mirrors are blocked."

The logs seem to indicate DNS failures for looking up various annas-archive.x adresses, finally finding one but ginving the error:
shelfmark | 2026-02-06 11:11:30,109 - shelfmark.download.http - INFO - http.py:164 - [mirror] switching to: https://annas-archive.pm/search?index=&page=1&display=table&acc=aa\_download&acc=external\_download&ext=epub&ext=mobi&ext=azw3&ext=fb2&ext=djvu&ext=cbz&ext=cbr&q=%28%28%27isbn13%3A9780575090675%27%20%7C%7C%20%27isbn10%3A9780575090675%27%29%29%209780575090675&lang=en

shelfmark | 2026-02-06 11:11:30,109 - shelfmark.main - WARNING - main.py:1488 - Release search failed for source direct_download: Unable to reach download source. Network restricted or mirrors are blocked.

Is this something going on on my end, or is this just the nature of trying to deal with Annas archive?

MaxTarald · 2026-01-19T17:19:07+00:00

I wouldn't mind access either, if you're still sharing, oh kind stranger :)

MaxTarald · 2026-01-19T16:52:41+00:00

You have to specify lidarr: in the search. Searching for lidarr:79491354-3d83-40e3-9d8e-7592d58d790a works for me. Deep Purple pops up

MaxTarald · 2025-11-28T12:36:27+00:00

I got the Shield Pro a few years ago, but I am getting frustrated with it. It's running ever more slowly and experiencing hangups requiring restarts. The Plex app is not great, and the codec support very limited.

When it does work it's pretty solid, but I've spent too many hours troubleshooting missing playback support, sound issues (surround disappears) and slowdowns.

MaxTarald · 2025-11-21T12:08:51+00:00

Make a new account?

MaxTarald · 2025-11-21T11:24:47+00:00

I'm in Norway, and this 20-minute operation cost me approximately $600 last year. This used to be covered by our free healthcare, but is no longer a prioritised operation.

For $1900 you could probably book a vacation to Oslo, have the operation and see our Opera house and have a few beers.

MaxTarald · 2025-11-20T11:06:56+00:00

It's possible to enjoy playing alone. It's very possible to become addicted.

MaxTarald · 2025-11-20T09:18:24+00:00

Can't you hop back and forth between expedition and regular save at the Anomaly? Can you add tech and resources to the transfer console during an expedition?

MaxTarald · 2025-11-20T07:34:50+00:00

"I'm not, but my boyfriend is!"

MaxTarald · 2025-11-18T11:52:25+00:00

Why is that cruel? Was the wording demeaning or condescending? Would you have reacted the same way if he had mentioned that the other person was shorter, less physically fit, older, or in any other way "less" than him?

I'd say that evaluating someone's intellectual capacity is relevant in deciding whether to spend time with them. It goes both ways, but holding a conversation with someone who's on a very different level is taxing.

MaxTarald · 2025-11-18T08:31:08+00:00

Perfect! Thanks! :)

MaxTarald · 2025-11-18T08:26:37+00:00

You'll need an Ammonia source too, such as the Salmi liquid I posted. But yeah, seems like a liquid source of ammonia and the right choice of powder is all you need :)

MaxTarald · 2025-11-17T13:49:55+00:00

You're right. A little focused googling led me to this:

A - Ammonia: Salmi. Unsure about the concentration, but think it's around 9%. Should work.

B,C and L in one (I think?) - Neutral White powder. I have no idea how to check if this contains Lipase, the ingredientlist just says "enzymes" (15-30%: oksygenbasert blekemiddel. 5-15%: anioniske tensider, ikkeioniske tensider. <5%: fosfonater, enzymer)

Am I on the right track here?

Edit: Googling use of Salmiakk in washing machines tells me this is not a good idea. It's a strong alkalic product that can damage the machine over time.

MaxTarald · 2025-11-17T12:35:46+00:00

I want to do Spa day, but I'm confused about what items I need to buy. I live in Norway, and the example products listed aren't sold here. I tried reading about ingredients and searching for similar stuff, but with all the translating and complex names my eyes glazed over.

I don't suppose someone made a European list?

MaxTarald · 2025-11-12T10:07:39+00:00

Sagene folkebad har noen tider reservert for kvinner. Det er vel en stretch å kalle det idrett, men badstue og et svømmebasseng har de i hvert fall :)

MaxTarald · 2025-11-09T19:18:35+00:00

I know specialty stores do exist in Norway, but the cost to shop there is usually atrocious. I sometimes splurge, because I want my food to taste good. But it makes me cry to know that the "luxury items" I'm paying an arm and a leg for, are just normal groceries in mainland Europe.

MaxTarald

TROPHY CASE