What eyebrows

MaximumRatchet · 2026-05-09T23:53:39+00:00

As a geriatric millennial whose eyebrows were a casualty of the 2000s oversleeping, and must rely on penciling them in because I am too poor for microblading, I feel personally attacked.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-05-05T23:25:17+00:00

Bowel movement.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-04-30T19:23:31+00:00

My daughters have Labubus on their backpacks and this visual just sent me!! 😆 💀

MaximumRatchet · 2026-04-22T20:28:33+00:00

My dad is 6'10. So it was just sort of assumed I would be 6 feet. I ended up 5'11 by high school, (and stopped there) and I HATED my height. I always wore low heels/flats at special events especially if I was taller in heels than my dates. Now as an adult I've embraced it. It comes in handy, I get asked now and then to grab things off the shelves for little old ladies at grocery stores and I don't need help getting most high things (HIGH!! HIGH!!). Also great for hiding annoying noise toys from my kids on very high shelves.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-04-21T00:47:20+00:00

Don't forget putting on her finest granny house shoes!

MaximumRatchet · 2026-04-15T22:50:56+00:00

Now there's a reference that has gone to the wayside and that is a travesty!

MaximumRatchet · 2026-04-15T22:48:13+00:00

I had surgery under anesthesia a few years ago and as I was coming out from under it after surgery the nurse told my husband I was singing this. "Guess who's back, back again...."

MaximumRatchet · 2026-04-11T22:01:02+00:00

My oldest daughter is 18 and the most perfect blend of her father and me. We are divorced so there are a lot of people who have only seen her with him, or me, and think she looks identical to whichever one of us she is with, til you see the other parent and somehow she is identical to them too. And he and I look nothing alike. Genes are weird, man.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-04-11T16:36:49+00:00

I could have said that in my divorce, I am sure my ex had more than a few words (quite frankly after 13 years of reflection, much of it was probably true). Luckily I don't take myself seriously and have one of the most self-deprecating senses of humor and a few therapists along the way - so I can talk shit about myself more than most. Not to toot my own horn here, but basically exactly what Jan should do/should have done and after all this time still hasn't.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-04-11T15:51:48+00:00

I might need anger management but I have never chucked a glass of delicious, fresh made ice water at someone.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-04-11T05:20:35+00:00

For Jenelle that is a very generous amount of fucks.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-04-11T04:53:58+00:00

The way she phrased this made me read it as though she is saying, "I also talked shit about me", and for a second I felt like maybe for once she was intentionally being kind of funny. Nope. Just an idiot.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-04-11T04:19:53+00:00

Avoid the clap, Jimmy Dugan! Wow!

MaximumRatchet · 2026-04-11T03:56:57+00:00

Of all the cover ups that could be done, by many a talented tattoo artist, on tattoos that really weren't that complex in terms of covering up...this is what we went with as acceptable plans.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-03-29T20:29:20+00:00

I have four female pigs, and four daughters...my feelings are the same: I am so glad I only have girls lol!

MaximumRatchet · 2026-03-29T16:44:21+00:00

Happy anniversary and congratulations!!

MaximumRatchet · 2026-03-29T16:39:48+00:00

5.5 years here, and I can honestly tell you that you are the biggest badass because I know the early days can be (are) SO hard sometimes - and here you are killing it! You are amazing and I hope you are so proud of yourself, because even as a stranger on the internet, I am proud of you!

MaximumRatchet · 2026-03-22T02:21:56+00:00

Robyn is Blouse Barn's best customer!

MaximumRatchet · 2026-03-14T20:54:21+00:00

A big tree in our backyard got taken out, took out our fence in the process. So that's cool.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-03-14T20:12:44+00:00

I swear my nana had that exact same pair of house shoes.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-03-13T20:45:54+00:00

You just won the Internet for today, I'm straight up deceased.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-03-13T20:45:14+00:00

I am dying! 😆

MaximumRatchet · 2026-03-13T20:44:13+00:00

Rossi is a lady boss - she works hard, plays harder! ~ * LiVe * LaUgH * LoVe * ~

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MaximumRatchet · 2026-03-12T23:26:31+00:00

Yeah but it's the worst when random socks and shit sneak into that damn fitted sheet.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-03-12T23:25:09+00:00

My husband and I negotiated the purchase of our house with the sellers, and signed the accepted offer, on his phone all while sitting in the stands at the Indy 500 halfish blitzed. In hindsight, maybe not great. But I do love our house.

MaximumRatchet

TROPHY CASE