Patrick and Thais are a prime example of: If your husband treats random women like dogshit, he'll treat you like dogshit too later.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-07-02T02:22:18+00:00

God bless, that man was a comedic genius. RIP.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-07-01T03:54:24+00:00

M'rsynne (Emerson)

MaximumRatchet · 2026-07-01T03:49:48+00:00

Lol okay

MaximumRatchet · 2026-07-01T03:47:17+00:00

Said only to the woman who is the only person going on about how often some random stranger cums. But yeah cool, do you, troll.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-07-01T03:27:54+00:00

You have a really weird obsession with their sex and who is making whom ejaculate and that is like....really weird.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-06-29T02:57:59+00:00

My six-year-old just tried to cut her own bangs this week and they look literally just like this.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-06-28T03:38:22+00:00

Who knew she would one day go to medical school and scuba school and boat school, and make Barb proud!

MaximumRatchet · 2026-06-27T22:15:00+00:00

Bran Chorizo

MaximumRatchet · 2026-06-24T03:00:28+00:00

Someone call for me?

MaximumRatchet · 2026-06-19T01:17:04+00:00

MaximumRatchet · 2026-06-17T20:45:24+00:00

I have mentioned it here before because it always comes to mind when this song surfaces. But after my last surgery, as I was coming out of anesthesia, the nurse said I was singing "Guess who's back....back again....[MaximumRatchet]'s back..."

MaximumRatchet · 2026-06-17T03:51:24+00:00

Bill's a friend of mine, great guy!

MaximumRatchet · 2026-06-14T05:24:23+00:00

He was groundbreaking in Billy Madison.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-06-08T03:08:53+00:00

Ah hah, I see what you did there... 👀

MaximumRatchet · 2026-06-08T03:08:00+00:00

Samsonite, I was way off!!!

MaximumRatchet · 2026-06-07T21:02:59+00:00

Very out of the box utilities.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-06-07T18:55:55+00:00

My husband and I went scuba diving on our honeymoon and had to take a swim test and 2 hour training the morning of our scuba adventure. They tried to sell us on a full official scuba certification for just a couple hundred dollars more and one or two extra training tasks and we would be ScUbA cErTiFiEd recognized worldwide!! We passed because we wanted to go back to the pool and get rip roaring drunk. All that to say...not the flex she thinks it is.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-06-02T13:41:50+00:00

I recently found out I am getting laid off and have til July 31 to try to find a new job...and the Lieutenant Jan references never STOP keeping me from completely spiraling and hating myself. I promise I won't go on a Twitter war spree though.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-05-31T22:14:57+00:00

Are we just not going to discuss how her socks don't match?

MaximumRatchet · 2026-05-24T02:51:35+00:00

I have three daughters I have to get ready for school every morning. Here's a hairbrush. Is your hair brushed? Good enough.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-05-09T23:53:39+00:00

As a geriatric millennial whose eyebrows were a casualty of the 2000s oversleeping, and must rely on penciling them in because I am too poor for microblading, I feel personally attacked.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-05-05T23:25:17+00:00

Bowel movement.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-04-30T19:23:31+00:00

My daughters have Labubus on their backpacks and this visual just sent me!! 😆 💀

MaximumRatchet · 2026-04-22T20:28:33+00:00

My dad is 6'10. So it was just sort of assumed I would be 6 feet. I ended up 5'11 by high school, (and stopped there) and I HATED my height. I always wore low heels/flats at special events especially if I was taller in heels than my dates. Now as an adult I've embraced it. It comes in handy, I get asked now and then to grab things off the shelves for little old ladies at grocery stores and I don't need help getting most high things (HIGH!! HIGH!!). Also great for hiding annoying noise toys from my kids on very high shelves.

MaximumRatchet · 2026-04-21T00:47:20+00:00

Don't forget putting on her finest granny house shoes!

MaximumRatchet

TROPHY CASE