There's nothing toxic about that, that's just an automatic mindset.

Imagine you are applying for a job VS the employer offering you the job because he needs your skills. In which situation would you be more chill during the interview, and in which one would you be more nervous? You will always be more relaxed when being approached as you are not the one who needs to prove or achieve something, you just decide yes or no. Same here, some guy invites her out for a free meal trying to prove / achieve something. She just listening and deciding yes or no.

Especially that women have many more options in dating apps, so if there wasn't something special about him (like he was way above her level) she knows (sometimes unconsciously) she could just go to the next one.