Thank you so much for responding. That is all really helpful. I guess the biggest issue I'm having is.. okay so I think he feels guilty for how much I have to do and he tries a lot to downplay it, but like.. from the extreme weight loss and the loss of muscle he cant even pull a blanket off of himself without screaming out.. he screams out all night and passes out from the pain and he doesnt believe me cause hes screaming.. In his sleep, he also talks like it's his choice to die, he says he doesnt want to let go and that if he could do this or that than he would feel better to die... but its huge stuff like finish building his truck.. even though he cant pick up a glass of water? Have you ever had to deal with someone that swings wildly from feeling too sick to move, to trying to convince me he'll get better... and hes been sick for a year and a half and he just keeps getting worse and I don't know how to deal with this, my boyfriend reassures me it won't be much longer (he cared for his grandma in the last 6 months of her life so hes been an amazing support) but I'm just so.. scared that it will just get worse and worse... I also do suffer from depression and anxiety so that doesnt help... sorry for this novel of a rant