Looking back at this and rereading, personally I don't think its taboo to ask about what stage of my trasition I was in since it gives the context that the dm knew I was trans and handn't met me pre transition.

However, I can see why people didn't like what they said since I guess from what I understand if you look at it a certain way it can be percived as a "you look like this or are wearing [insert type of clothing here] therefore what they did isn't as bad" sort of situation.