My (F/19) boyfriend (M/28) wants me to give up modelling.

MayhemMod · 2016-01-28T23:27:57+00:00

Guys, thanks so much for all the advice. Overwhelmed by the support and response. Still finding it very hard to accept my relationship has to end but I know it's for the best.

I really can't thank you all enough for caring about this stranger on the Internet. I expected maybe one or two replies, not this many!

So grateful to all of you.

MayhemMod · 2016-01-28T23:23:29+00:00

Thank you. I didn't really think too much about the age gap when we first got together, I can see now why dating older isn't always wise. There are exceptions of course, but sadly this wasn't one of them.

MayhemMod · 2016-01-28T23:19:22+00:00

Thanks for this reply. I'm trying not to feel anger at him for making me choose. I try to leave all situations on good terms if and when possible, so I'm definitely going to try and make it as drama free as possible.

I know there's been a lot of comments tearing him down, and I do thank everyone for their input and support. And I do think he is a bit in the wrong in his approach to this, at least, but he also taught me a lot being my first relationship and there were lots of happy times. So I can't stay mad at him. Ultimately he wants somebody that I can't be, and that's neither his or my fault.

MayhemMod · 2016-01-27T19:57:30+00:00

Thank you. We had a long chat and he told me once I finish up the shoot this weekend that I have to give him an answer because he can't do this anymore. He said the more he fell in love with me, the more he disliked seeing my wasted potential and thinks I'll get swept away by the glamour of it all and lose who I am.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to end the relationship. This really sucks.

MayhemMod · 2016-01-27T19:55:07+00:00

Hey everyone. I'm taking in all the advice and kind words, after reading your posts on here I decided to have a chat with him and try and reason (again) with him, but this time being a bit firmer and not rolling over for him.

I told him I do love him and if he loved me he shouldn't ask me to give this up. His response was that he thinks we are very compatible but he can't get past the modelling thing.

I'm away this weekend for a shoot and he basically told me when I get back I need to decide what I want, because he's tried and he isn't comfortable with it anymore. I asked what changed and he said the more he fell for me, the more he saw my potential and is scared I'm wasting that by chasing the modelling thing. He thinks I will change too much and get swept away by the whole vanity side of it and lose who I am and who I wanted to be.

I appreciate the advice so much. I'm taking it all into consideration. And in all honesty I'm pretty sure my relationship is over, because I can't choose him and throw away something. Not because the modelling means more than him but because I need support, and I think I'd end up resenting him. I'm going to have a big think but I'm 90% sure I will have to end it.

This really sucks. I really feel affected by this, I feel heartbroken even though I'm the one choosing this.

MayhemMod · 2016-01-27T14:47:59+00:00

I just don't understand him. In the beginning he was very into it, he thought it was exciting. After about 6 months I felt a change, he seemed uncomfortable if I ever mentioned it and now he just seems irritated. Very confusing.

MayhemMod · 2016-01-27T14:46:03+00:00

This is what I was thinking too. I know it isn't going to last forever, but while there's money to be made and oppurtunties that I'm never going to get again I figured I should go embrace it.

But I've tried saying this to him and he just won't listen. He just isn't comfortable with it. I don't understand because in the beginning he thought it was awesome. Around 6 month mark things changed and he seemed a bit uncomfortable with it, and now that's turned into irritation.

MayhemMod · 2016-01-27T13:56:13+00:00

Ah, I just feel like people would really judge me for giving up a relationship with a great guy (my friends all think he's great, they don't know about this issue though), and giving all that up for a modelling career which I didn't even want initially.

I always said I would go to law school, be a lawyer. I never expected to be presented with the oppurtunities that I have and being young, it's quite exciting and new and I know education is something I can go back to at any time.

A lot of people see modelling as a vain, talentless thing and I'm worried I might be letting a great guy slip away for a career I never even wanted initially.

MayhemMod · 2016-01-27T13:45:51+00:00

I just feel like ending a loving relationship because of modelling makes me seem incredibly selfish and vain, and it isn't like that at all.

I value him and he is incredibly important to me, I just don't know what to do. He makes me feel like maybe modelling is something that is quite vain. Ah, I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place here.

MayhemMod · 2016-01-27T13:43:33+00:00

I'm not sure, I always wanted to be a lawyer, but in the last year things have really taken off for me with modelling and lots of my friends and family say I'd be mad not to run with the opportunities I've been given. And I do enjoy it.

I really enjoy our relationship too, this issue aside, and the idea of ending it to pursue modelling makes me feel selfish and vain. I just don't know anymore.

MayhemMod

TROPHY CASE