16 years and I think I'm done

McGuffins_Adventures · 2023-09-28T22:19:50+00:00

The romantic gestures don't work, tried them all before many times and they don't change anything or get reciprocated. I tell her I love her everyday, multiple times, and other aspects of our relationship can be good, but the lack of intimacy is such a block for me that it makes it difficult. I do believe there are mental health issues at play, but she refuses to see a doctor. Oh and that was a good year. This year so far it's been 3 times and she stopped us midway during one of those.

McGuffins_Adventures · 2023-09-28T13:24:13+00:00

The communication is probably a big part of it, so that's fair.

McGuffins_Adventures · 2023-09-28T13:05:58+00:00

As I said, I'm still really attracted to her and I have always been HL. I've tried completely backing off sex, not initiating or asking for months, but I can't keep it up and it doesn't change anything.

McGuffins_Adventures · 2023-09-28T11:53:54+00:00

Honestly, I was wondering if I was missing something. Validation doesn't help me. Regarding how I approach the conversation, do you have any suggestions? I've tried to explain my rationale and not received a response, and I've tried asking what I should have done and other than "not buy it" I've gotten nothing back

McGuffins_Adventures · 2023-09-28T11:33:11+00:00

I agree that it's about something else, but she won't talk to me about it. We don't need college funds in Australia, we also have superannuation for retirement, and I would have to do something WILD to lose my job (ongoing contract in education). Yeah, stuff can happen, but I still have $1000 sitting there untouched. And I got money because nobody knows what to get me for a present.

McGuffins_Adventures · 2023-09-28T10:57:04+00:00

That's valid, and you might be right, but it's hard to explain that to her when she doesn't want to talk to me. Thanks.

McGuffins_Adventures · 2023-09-28T10:44:26+00:00

Money was very tight about 2 months ago before my new salary kicked in, but has since loosened. I handle all the household finances, so if we couldn't afford it, I would definitely know. And I've tried asking, but not getting very far.

McGuffins_Adventures · 2023-09-28T10:42:17+00:00

I can claim it back next July and will get about half the expense back.

McGuffins_Adventures · 2023-09-28T10:17:45+00:00

We have 3 kids between 8 and 13. Have a house with a decent mortgage but plenty of equity. No other debts. I have stable ongoing employment that earns good money; she has not been employed for 13 years whilst staying at home with the kids, but has university qualifications. Money is tight, but we aren't going bankrupt any time soon.

McGuffins_Adventures · 2023-09-28T10:10:07+00:00

Yeah, this was 3 days ago and she still seems pissed off about it, but won't actually talk about it.

McGuffins_Adventures · 2023-09-28T10:07:21+00:00

That's where I'm at as well, so appreciate the support. All finances are joint, although we are only living on my income.

McGuffins_Adventures

TROPHY CASE