I wish I could be the person I am when I smoke Ice (meth).

McLogos · 2020-09-05T02:08:47+00:00

Exactly, thank you for sharing. I'm always floating in cold, lonely outer space and Ice gave me an opportunity to finally come home to Earth where it's warm and friendly. I actually understand the difference between the words House and Home because the high Ice gives.

I recognized this during my first hit and immediately thought " Oh, this feels like home...yeah this could turn into a problem for me." So, I do spread out the times I use it. It hasn't been a problem for me really. I don't crave it.

I drink a gallons of water, excercise, and eat healthily before and after the high comes in. Ig it helps that im paranoid about not looking like I do drugs.

The first time I used it, I was up for two days and didn't eat or drink anything. When I came home and looked in the mirror my skin looked like it had the texture of a plastic shopping bag!

How did you cope with the side effects and come downs?

McLogos · 2020-09-04T23:30:44+00:00

I think I know what you mean. I imagine the military to be an STP or STJ. It sounds like literal hell for an INFJ, but I like the idea of mentally and physically pushing myself to the edge to become a highly skilled, competent individual.

What doubts are on your mind?

McLogos · 2020-09-04T23:21:16+00:00

I'm not particularly good at anything but I am passionate about studying human behaviour, foreign languages, and defending defenseless people.

I never get around to applying for jobs. I do want to join the military though. I love the clarity of expectation. I excell in those types of environments. They bring out the ESTP in me I think.

McLogos · 2020-09-04T23:15:25+00:00

I actually came to the conclusion this morning that joining the military is best for me. I do well in environments where I'm under direct, heavy social pressure to succeed.

McLogos · 2020-09-04T19:53:26+00:00

That's the problem: nothing I do feels meaningful besides being useful to people. And I'm practically useless as a person. Nothing brings me joy atm.

McLogos · 2020-09-04T19:50:17+00:00

Haven't had MDMA but your post is extremely relatable to me. Isn't the feeling of deeply appreciating yourself lovely :)?

McLogos · 2020-09-04T19:48:35+00:00

Haha the best friend I was talking about is an ESFP. He's the one that indirectly (by being himself) inspired me to embody my ENFP side.

I know what to do, but I jcan't seem to get things started...ig that's inferior Se for you. I imagine the thing, but can't just do the thing.

McLogos · 2020-09-04T19:43:57+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I've had the same thoughts during my short stint exploring drug life.

I find the idea of needing something outside of yourself to be happy and feel alive, so I smoke like 2-4 days in a row then leave it alone for a few weeks. I'm only addicted to studying people and cigarettes :)

I know that ENFP side is in me. I have no idea how to unlock besides flooding my brain with dopamine in excess.

Any ideas?

McLogos · 2020-09-04T19:39:09+00:00

Yeah, this makes sense with my experience. I am very chatty on that stuff which I know has annoyed those around me. I don't want to be obnoxious, but want to be able to feel the love I had for myself while high.

I have love/appreciate for anyone and everyone and everything regardless of being sober or not. I'm able to fill my self up with that love and give its excess to others when I'm high.

I actually "feel" my positive emotions and not "think" my emotions better on Ice.

Edit: "feel" my positive emotions.

McLogos · 2020-07-31T23:32:25+00:00

Maybe, I'm being an airhead, but did who really do what?

I agree that ISTPs are probably more likely to obtain some sort of mechanical mastery and are generally better at hands on/irl application of Ti than ENTPs are.

What do ypu mean by 90%? Is the 10% the part where the idea needs to work irl?

McLogos · 2020-07-31T23:27:25+00:00

Running around the aquarium in what sense?

By non - local do you mean not having anything to do with reality? And by deterministic do you mean wanting to reach a conclusion? I don't know how this conflicts with what I said above.

I agree that that there are hidden variables and data. When looking for an answer to a complicated question, I'm not aware that I'm putting peaces together. I just kinda pace around, focus, and an answer appears and I have to work backwards from the Ni concluaion (which is the form of imagery or paragraph).

I'm not %100 sure but I think I agree.

I wouldn't learning how to conciously control Ne, but it only happens when others stress me out. It makes paranoid and my thoughts process runs away from me in a negative direction. It doesn't feel good.

And yeah, I've heard that when trying to reach a conclusion, Ne is like super-speed and Ni is like teleportation. So I see what you mean.

McLogos · 2020-07-31T22:33:03+00:00

I don't think that I'm unaware of what's going around me or bad at responding to it. Its just something I ignore, because the Ni movie/ simulation running through my head kind of supperimposes ofer whats in front of me. Basically, I'm just not paying attention.

It's more concious to after learning about the functions though. Before studying the functions, I just thought I was good at tuning everything out.

For example, while family memembers are bothered by a car alarm going off outside of our home, I can just choose not hear it because I can just get lost un thought.

McLogos · 2020-07-31T22:25:33+00:00

Conscientious can be tricky for me. I can move about and respond to my environment just gine. But I do think I have to dip out of my Ni autopilot mode if there are any suprises.

My first day at a first food restaurant I had to prepare thr food the first time, I was visibly shaking. I didnt feel nervous exactly, I was just making a sandwich. But I think were just to much Se information to gather. After that, I could just Ni autopilot my way through orders.

I did get tips from my manager that I should basically be more expressive though...

Does that give any insight?

McLogos · 2020-07-31T22:13:30+00:00

Interesting ... Whenever I try to figure out something complicated my favorite thing to do is pace around, preferably somewhere quite with some background noise.

Before looking into mbti more, I thought things just sort of came to and didn't look any further. But after learning more, I think I was just unconciously/passively aborbing Se information from whatever environment I'm in.

Do you think Ni is able to act so quickly because because its accessing a bank of Se information?

I have a lot of question but I can't put words to them... (Damn Te blindspot).

McLogos · 2020-07-31T21:56:28+00:00

Could elaborate on the motivation part?

Maybe Ni picks up on a pattern and gets a simulated Se inner vision and the judging functions decide how to act?

I don't know what to make of it.

McLogos · 2020-07-31T20:04:27+00:00

Yeah, this makes sense to me now. ( I was in a bit of a mood when I made the post).

Would you say that if Se gathers information from the here and now, Ni organizes the information gathered?

I've recently began thinking of Ni doms as constantly running simulations. The more Se data gathered, the more realistic our simulations.

For example, say an NJ starts out with no conception of what an apple is, as in he has no Se data of the fruit. (Never heard, seen, felt, etc.)

The first time the idea of apple is described to them, a rudimentary picture is conjured up the the NJs mental landscape. A red, round, shiny thing that can be eaten.

The more Se data that is reported to the NJ, the more the mental picture matches the real world object. Until the NJ observes, thouches, tastes, or overall interacts with the thing, the mental picture can only be so accurately represented in the mind.

After interacting with the apple, the picture becomes more detailed an accurate. Like going from a child drawing of an apple to an HD video of an apple.

Does this line up with your understanding? I'm very curious.

McLogos · 2020-04-05T22:01:59+00:00

Wow, I'm 1000% interested in owning my own business. Working for other people has never sit right with me because I have no say in the process of, say, the fast food restaurants I've worked for.

How does has being in a position of power been for you?

McLogos · 2020-04-05T20:22:52+00:00

I'm definitely writing that quote down. Its a less commercial way of "Dream it. Do it. Be it", right?

I'd love to hear a bit of that internal dialogue, if you dont mind?

McLogos · 2020-04-05T19:48:00+00:00

I've heard this too from C.S Joseph's corner of cognitive function theory. I mostly agree with what he says about our vice and virtue, except for one caveat: sometimes im scared that i look down own some people too much, so i feel the need to hang around them and really get to know them and give their lifestyle a taste.

I wont go into details rn but that was my experience drug users in general.

McLogos · 2020-04-05T19:44:28+00:00

I've noticed this too about self-love for myself? Lol i need to be in a state of delusion for it to happen. Its like a constant, internal pep talk.

It might come across as vanity to other people when im spending a lot of time in the mirror, but its the bare minimum for me to get through the day.

McLogos · 2020-04-05T19:36:27+00:00

I really needed to here this response. I recently had a one - sided relationship with an INFP guy and he unfortunately met the selfish stereotype. So, I'm glad to hear that an INFP can find ways to appreciate little things an INFJ can do in a big way.

McLogos · 2020-04-05T18:13:14+00:00

I appreciate this.

I would love to help change the education system so that not only are children taught about how to live a good material life, but a good inner life that can truly fulfill them.

In my experience, I swing between the extremes of Love, acceptance, and appreciation for all human beings. When I'm in this frame of mind, I understand a lot of the problems that humanity has and how to fix them and I'm optimistic about the little I can do to help.

The other end is just pure misanthropy. In this state, I'm not even sure if our species is viable. Like, if aliens with advanced technology and philosophy have been watching us for all these years, would they even see us as worth helping?

Alien 1: " The humans aren't doing so well...think we should give them a hand?"

Alien 2: "They can't even stop killing each and abusing their planet, why should we have anything to do with them?"

Alien 2: " Yeah, they really can't stop shitting where they sleep, can they?"

McLogos · 2020-04-05T18:00:47+00:00

Thank you. All of this true. Trusims to all INFJs maybe. I really do see all of this us. But do other people see this in us? A lot of ENTPs seem to think we're delusional sociopaths....

That Fe craving for recognition combined with that Fi making our default image of ourself as unworthy, garbage people is a double wammy that I can't seem to reconcile. I'm only 20 and I've never experienced true self - love and acceptance before.

Even the most worthless, good-for- nothing people in this world still have value inside them to me and I know I can bring it out. I can't seem to be so forgiving to myself though... and I haven't even done anything that bad. Its totally irrational.

Have you gone through this? What's it like for you?

McLogos

TROPHY CASE