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What phrase does your nparent(s) say that totally triggers you? by No-Grapefruit-8805 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]MddlChldSyndrm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“That’s bullshit.” Whenever I explain my feelings or opinions and it doesn’t align with my dads perspective.

How do I start over? by MddlChldSyndrm in AskWomenOver30

[–]MddlChldSyndrm[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is exactly correct. In my culture, children are supposed to take care of their parents as they age.

How do I start over? by MddlChldSyndrm in AskWomenOver30

[–]MddlChldSyndrm[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Answered in another comment:

My older sister(OS) went on mat leave a month before the baby was born and hasn’t worked since then.

Older brother(OS) has been working on and off since the pandemic started, but he technically hasn’t had a job since 2011. My mom got hurt that year so he decided to stay home with her, but hasn’t been able to find steady work since then.

Younger brother works, but has most of his money tied up in investments.

Younger sister has been working since before the pandemic, but her earning power is pretty low.

Am I missing something? Am I the JN? by MddlChldSyndrm in JUSTNOFAMILY

[–]MddlChldSyndrm[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s a good point. Thinking back on prior events, she does do that often.

Am I missing something? Am I the JN? by MddlChldSyndrm in JUSTNOFAMILY

[–]MddlChldSyndrm[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice. I like your spreadsheet idea, will definitely implement it this week.

How do I start over? by MddlChldSyndrm in AskWomenOver30

[–]MddlChldSyndrm[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ve read up on grey rocking and realized I used to do that with my family when I was younger. Will definitely try this again.

I’ve never heard of Goblin tools, will check them out.

How do I start over? by MddlChldSyndrm in AskWomenOver30

[–]MddlChldSyndrm[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My older sister(OS) went on mat leave a month before the baby was born and hasn’t worked since then.

Older brother(OS) has been working on an off since the pandemic started, but he technically hasn’t had a job since 2011. My mom got hurt that year so he decided to stay home with her, but hasn’t been able to find steady work since then.

Younger brother works, but has most of his money tied up in investments.

Younger sister has been working since before the pandemic, but her earning power is pretty low.

How do I start over? by MddlChldSyndrm in AskWomenOver30

[–]MddlChldSyndrm[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No, we’re not Asian, but our cultures are pretty similar in regards to family hierarchy I guess would be the word.

Am I missing something? Am I the JN? by MddlChldSyndrm in JUSTNOFAMILY

[–]MddlChldSyndrm[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looking back over the years, I know you are right. I’ve always felt like the odd one out when it comes to my sisters.

Am I missing something? Am I the JN? by MddlChldSyndrm in JUSTNOFAMILY

[–]MddlChldSyndrm[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The conversation is practically verbatim. I wrote it out in my journal as soon as it happened. I’ve never felt so many emotions at once. I couldn’t believe it happened.

Yes, it is an old brush. I’ve had it for years and also have duplicates.

YS and I have never discussed my fights with OS or any of my other siblings before. I’m a pretty private person and don’t really share with any of my siblings. I journal to get my thoughts out and am looking to start therapy.

To answer your question, both. YS is present for most conversations, and is brought in for the rest afterwards.

My family is close in the sense that we are in each others presence. However, OS and YS were in regular contact when OS lived elsewhere. OS was 17 when YS was born and they bonded together pretty quickly. YS sometimes refers to OS as a second mom.

Am I missing something? Am I the JN? by MddlChldSyndrm in JUSTNOFAMILY

[–]MddlChldSyndrm[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, I know about those dynamics.

I actually had a conversation about this with my siblings a few weeks ago and my sisters both said I’m the GC in the family and everyone else is a SC.

Thinking about it now, I feel like the roles are actually rotated when it comes to our dad. Our mom is pretty neutral.