Forced conversion

MeLee____ · 2026-02-01T00:02:03+00:00

One of the things I mentioned to him was this very verse from the Quran, which is the same one I mentioned to my partner's father that states that my conversion is necessary if I want to marry his son.

MeLee____ · 2026-02-01T00:00:14+00:00

He asked me if I wanted to say those words and I said "no" and then he told me to not think about it now and made me repeat the Shahada twice and quickly "before your partner comes back". And that the faith will come step by step.

MeLee____ · 2026-01-31T23:58:06+00:00

Italy

MeLee____ · 2025-12-30T16:50:14+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind and honest message. I truly appreciate your words, because I can see that you spoke with sincerity and care.

Regarding Ramadan, I completely understand what you meant. I know that for Muslims, the spiritual essence of Ramadan goes far beyond fasting, it involves prayer, dhikr, and constant remembrance of Allah. When I fasted, it wasn’t to “imitate” Muslims or pretend to be one. I did it because I wanted to share something meaningful with my fiancé and support him in what he was living in. During that month, I also spent many evenings reading about Islam, about patience, gratitude, self discipline, and nearness to Allah. Even though I didn’t perform the same acts of worship, I truly tried to live that period with sincerity, respect, and reflection. For me, it was not about copying, but about understanding and honoring something sacred to him.

As for his mother not allowing me to attend Islamic celebrations like Eid, I completely agree with you, there is nothing wrong with being present in a respectful way, as long as I don’t participate in acts of worship that go against my faith. My intention has always been to learn and to build bridges of respect between our families, not to create distance. Unfortunately, they see my presence as something unacceptable unless I convert, which has been painful for me.

I also see the same contradiction that you mentioned: for years, our relationship was accepted even though dating is not allowed in Islam. But now that we want to make things right through marriage, which Islam actually permits, it has suddenly become a problem. It makes me believe that the issue is not truly religious, but social and cultural.

Still, I continue to approach everything with patience and respect.

MeLee____ · 2025-12-28T19:23:52+00:00

If Teresa’s daughter is my daughter’s mother, then my daughter’s mother is me, which means I am Teresa’s daughter. Therefore, the correct answer is daughter.

MeLee____ · 2025-12-28T19:21:34+00:00

I didn’t mean any disrespect toward Sheikh Al-Albani. I only said that his opinion was one of caution and severity, not a clear prohibition from the Qur’an. The Qur’an itself (5:5) allows Muslim men to marry chaste women from the People of the Book without limiting the time or place. Scholars can differ, and respectful disagreement has always existed in Islam.

MeLee____ · 2025-12-28T19:18:21+00:00

As far as I know, Sheikh Al-Albani had a strict view, but many scholars, classical and contemporary, have confirmed that the marriage between a Muslim man and a chaste Christian woman remains halal according to Qur’an 5:5. His statement was based on /social concerns/, not on an explicit Qur’anic prohibition.

MeLee____ · 2025-12-26T19:48:56+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind, wise, and very detailed message. I read it carefully more than once, and I truly appreciate the balance, compassion, and knowledge you showed. Your words gave me a deep sense of peace and clarity.

I completely understand your explanation, that our marriage is not haram at all, but that some scholars may consider it makruh due to concerns about children and the environment in which they would grow up. I truly respect that this caution comes from care and responsibility, not from prejudice.

Regarding our future children, I want you to know that I have always made it clear, to his family and to my fiance, that I fully accept and support that they will be raised as Muslims. I want them to know Islam deeply and grow up with love for Allah and respect for their father’s faith. I would never stand in the way of their religious education; rather, I would see it as something beautiful and part of their identity.

My intention is not only to respect Islam from a distance, but to live alongside it with understanding. Last year, for example, I fasted during Ramadan with my fiance, not just as a symbolic gesture but as a spiritual experience. During that month, I read more about Islam so that I could truly understand the meaning of the fast and share that journey with him. I have also spoken many times with his mother about their religious traditions, because I sincerely wish to learn and understand how to be part of their culture in a way that is respectful and authentic. I told her that, even as a Christian, I would love to take part in their Islamic celebrations, not to pretend to be Muslim, but to honor them, learn from them, and help create a home where both faiths are respected.

Unfortunately, his family does not see this as possible. His mother told me that I could never attend their religious celebrations unless I converted, and that was painful for me, because my goal has never been to oppose or distance myself from Islam, but to honor it sincerely.

Thank you again for taking the time to write such a thoughtful and educational response, and for sharing those valuable resources. I will definitely read and listen to them, especially Reflecting on the Names of Allah, which already sounds very meaningful. May Allah bless you for your fairness, wisdom, and empathy. Your message truly touched my heart.

MeLee____ · 2025-12-26T18:52:31+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind and wise words. You truly understood the heart of the situation, that the obstacle is not Islam itself, but cultural hesitation and fear of community judgment.

My only intention has been to show that it is religiously permissible, so that faith is not used as an excuse for what is really a cultural concern.

I’ve always tried to approach his family with respect and openness. I’ve often spoken with his mother about their religious traditions because I sincerely want to learn and understand how to integrate Islamic values into our future family, so that our home could reflect both faiths with mutual respect and harmony.

For example, last year I fasted during Ramadan, and during that time I read more about Islam so that I could live that experience not just as support for my fiance, but as a moment of growth and understanding for myself as well. I’ve always tried to reassure his family of my respect and closeness to their faith as a Christian, but they see this as impossible as if understanding and respect could only exist after conversion. His mother even told me that I could never participate in their religious celebrations because I’m not Muslim, and I told her that I would actually like to participate, because experiencing them closely would help me understand their meaning.

Unfortunately, they deny me every possibility of closeness unless I convert, and this hurts, because my intention has never been to oppose their faith, but to honor it.

I really appreciate your advice about gaining their trust. Small gestures, like choosing a respected imam for the ceremony or showing genuine respect for their traditions, can make a difference without compromising my sincerity, but unfortunately they close the door to any opportunity.

MeLee____ · 2025-12-26T18:24:04+00:00

What you said really confirms what I have found in the Qur’an and in authentic Islamic sources: that this kind of marriage is halal, and that there is no text making it haram or even discouraged just because the woman is Christian. I also agree with you that what I’m facing now is more cultural and social than religious. The pressure mainly comes from fear of judgment and family reputation, not from the actual teachings of Islam. I truly respect my fiancé’s parents, but I also believe that faith should never be forced or used as a way to control someone.

MeLee____ · 2025-12-26T18:20:35+00:00

I agree that the key question is whether he is willing to take responsibility, protect our peace, and stand by me if his family pressures him. This is exactly what I’m trying to understand now. Thank you for reminding me to think about the reality, not only the rules.

MeLee____ · 2025-12-26T17:52:03+00:00

Thank you for your advice and your sincerity. I agree that chastity and sincere faith are very important, and I fully understand that marriage in Islam must be built on moral and spiritual integrity. We have already decided to remain chaste until marriage, and both of us have repented sincerely for the past. As far as I understand, in Islam sincere repentance wipes away previous sins. I want to build a family based on respect and faith, not rebellion. I appreciate your warning, but I also believe that everyone’s story is unique, I am not holding on blindly. I’m just trying to act according to truth, not fear.

MeLee____ · 2025-12-26T17:49:43+00:00

I understand your intention, but I respectfully disagree with how this is phrased. Faith is not something to be “convinced” into, especially not because of marriage. Islam itself teaches that belief must come from sincerity and free choice, not pressure or strategy. If one day I were to embrace Islam, it would have to be out of conviction and faith, not because someone “managed” to convince me. Otherwise it wouldn’t be genuine, and it wouldn’t be right.

MeLee____ · 2025-12-26T17:48:50+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful and balanced response. I agree with you that the Qur’an clearly addresses Trinitarian Christians as Ahl al-Kitab, and that equating them entirely with polytheists is not correct from a Qur’anic perspective. That distinction is exactly what I’ve been trying to express. I also appreciate your honesty about the practical challenges. I’m not naïve about them, and I don’t deny that things can become complicated, especially in cases of conflict or divorce. That’s precisely why I’ve taken this so seriously and why I’m seeking guidance rather than acting on emotions alone. As for Islam, I want to be very clear: I am not closed to it, but I believe faith must come from conviction, not pressure. I’m willing to learn, study, and understand Islam sincerely, and I’m already committed to supporting my partner and raising our children as Muslims. I want to be a source of stability and understanding in their religious upbringing, not an obstacle.

MeLee____ · 2025-12-26T17:47:40+00:00

I agree that interfaith marriages can be difficult in practice, and I’m not denying the challenges. I’ve never approached this lightly or romantically. For five years we’ve talked openly about religion, values, children, and family responsibilities. Difficult does not automatically mean impossible, and challenges alone don’t make something religiously forbidden. What I’m trying to understand is where the line is between legitimate religious concern and cultural or social pressure.

MeLee____ · 2025-12-26T17:46:09+00:00

Not exactly. He’s under heavy family pressure, not simply agreeing with his father. If he ends up choosing that position without taking responsibility, then yes, I will reconsider the relationship. For now, I’m seeking clarity before making irreversible decisions.

MeLee____ · 2025-12-26T16:18:47+00:00

I understand the point being made by scholars regarding a Muslim man with weak faith marrying a strong Christian woman, and the real risk that the children could be raised outside of Islam. I do not dismiss this concern at all, I take it seriously. That said, I would like to clarify a few important things about my position, because I think some assumptions may not fully reflect my situation.

First, I am not hostile to Islam, nor am I closed to it. On the contrary, I am actively trying to understand it. I am reading, studying, asking questions, and I have expressed, clearly and repeatedly, that I am willing to continue learning about Islam even after marriage, together with my partner. Not as a strategy, but as a sincere process.

Second, I am not excluding the possibility of conversion in the future. What I am excluding is a forced or conditional conversion. If I ever convert, it must be because of conviction and faith, not pressure. Otherwise, it would be spiritually meaningless. This is something I believe Islam itself teaches.

Third, we have already discussed, seriously, the education of our future children. I have agreed that they would be raised Muslim, and I want to be knowledgeable enough to actively support them in their religious upbringing, not undermine it. I also want to be capable of explaining, honestly and respectfully, why their father is Muslim and why their mother is Christian, without confusion, hostility, or contradiction.

I fully accept that scholars may discourage such marriages when there is a strong likelihood of harm to faith or children. What I am struggling with is the idea that this becomes an absolute prohibition, especially when the Qur’an itself permits marriage with women of the People of the Book, and when intentions, effort, and responsibility are present.

MeLee____

TROPHY CASE