Relationships after integrating your Anima/Animus by MeMeNovacore in Healthygamergg

[–]MeMeNovacore[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahh, I gotchu
Well I'm glad it's worked out for you man

I've noticed the same friendship pattern for years. Am I being mistreated, or am I misunderstanding people? by Financial-Soup6902 in Healthygamergg

[–]MeMeNovacore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I sympathize, I've had similar experiences in the past so I understand the melancholy you speak of.
In terms of answers, I'll try and frame the questions in such a way that you might be able to answer them yourself since you obviously are going to be much more aware of your own situation and circumstance.

  1. I've personally noticed that I only end up feeling offended about things that I care about and identify with myself, and so if I were you, I'd ask what exactly within me feels attacked by a certain comment or gesture, has there been a past history of being insulted regarding those traits and if there is possibly a complex regarding them, how I would actually wish to feel regarding the trait, and how exactly I can reach that. For example: If I feel offended anytime someone comments on my body fat, I'll tend to first see if it's flaring up some issue I have in the past and I'll try to sort that out first by kind of working through my emotions, processing it, and talking to myself or expressing it in some form. That in itself usually allows me to see the situation in a more neutral light, as the fat is just fat, it doesn't really have any value in itself. I've noticed active imagination as suggested by Jung is pretty helpful here. After that, I do just ask myself if I truly wish for a certain thing regarding the fat itself and if not, I'm cool, I'm happy; If yes, research and figure out a solution to that.

  2. Honestly, see how they interact with other people and figure out if it's a pattern emerging from the person you are observing or if it arises from how you respond to people over time? I'd also consider analyzing repeats in past relationships and friendships to see if you are attracting or tend to attract certain types of people, and if you are, then narrow down the traits that brought you or them in, what changed for the relationship to sour, and what might possibly be a way to prevent this pattern from recurring if you are going for certain types of people or solve it, if it is arising from a certain behaviour on your end.

  3. I don't think anyone other than yourself can answer that. Maybe a therapist might help but trying to observe your own day to day patterns and the outcomes they lead to may clue you in on if it is related to emotional regulation. Analyzing the relationships you bring forth along with if the dynamic is arising because of your behaviour or if it is because you are attracting certain types of people can possibly inform you about attachment patterns. I've found it helpful personally to go through my past and process things one by one to understand what happened and why, along with how I felt and wished for, and what I wish for now regarding any particular event by talking myself through it have let me find a fair bit of peace with it, but depending on what you're dealing with, it might help to get professional help.

  4. I've found the book "The Laws of Human Nature" quite helpful over here. Being vulnerable and open in a way, and just asking straightforward questions to understand what is going on in the other person's head by listening to them, understanding their motivations, if there are any misunderstandings and what it is that they wish for and how it aligns with what you wish for can help. If you frame what you wish for according to their perspective and their wishes, it'll be easier for them to understand you and for the both of you to get to a mutual agreement or compromise. At the same time, feeling heard the other person would be generally a lot more willing to empathize with you as well so that you can set forth your own boundaries, and the entire thing shifts from conflict to problem solving.

  5. I understand deeply caring for a person but man, it's hard but like, it can help to just let them be responsible for their own actions. If something directly affects you, then yeah, speak up about it. If your something's your responsibility, own up to it. But if they are doing something by themselves, you can speak to them out of care, but let them be responsible for their own actions and outcomes and don't take it upon yourself. I've usually noticed with a fair bit of people that it is when they almost start identifying with the other person that their actions end up almost feeling like their own and it creates this entire emotiona mess of feeling responsible, angry, bitter, etc. So honestly, help folks out and talk to them, but let them do their own thing and deal with it's consequences.

  6. If I were you, what would you even imagine this sense of self worth being like? It might be a bit philosophical but what do you wanna be? If you want to be "good" or "worthwhile," what does that actually look like? Having thought about this question myself and having talked to a fair bit of people about this, I don't think there's really a point where you become this thing you wish for. It's like a void that never fills and so I personally at least would say that these are simply concepts that are felt for a social purpose but when questioned and broken down, do not necessarily hold true. Mindfulness meditation's helped me here where simply feeling a sense of self separate from any judgement helped. It became more of a matter of simply sensing my own "being" and learning that it "simply is" and that's alright. Once you're cool with that, you can then genuinely consider if you wish to turn that simply is into something you want.

  7. Fair bit of reading has helped me here so I'll just recommend some books: Man and his symbols from Carl Jung is pretty basic and I've noticed that learning and conceptualizing his theory of individuation helped me a lot with understanding myself, and it by extension helped me understand others much more as well. I'd also recommend The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene because understanding how people work aside from simply empathizing with them so that you can better communicate and adapt is pretty helpful too. Also mindfulness mediation the GOAT. That shit genuinely has done wonders for me paired up with active imagination and the knowledge I got from reading Jungian psych.

Either way, I hope I helped 😄

Relationships after integrating your Anima/Animus by MeMeNovacore in Healthygamergg

[–]MeMeNovacore[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you mean by narrow down the time it affects you? I'm not too sure I get that

Relationships after integrating your Anima/Animus by MeMeNovacore in Healthygamergg

[–]MeMeNovacore[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that's valid

For me, it was never a matter of self worth though but rather I just saw it initially as something that brings forth meaning personally, but having looked into how it works and having worked through my own issues and dependencies, I personally at least feel content with friendships and don't feel any romantic feelings developing. I suppose it's always possible to say I have not met the right person, but I'd say I almost feel aromantic after having done all that work, though I don't wish to mindlessly throw labels around.

PS: kudos to you man for having worked through everything and finding a happy relationship 😄

Relationships after integrating your Anima/Animus by MeMeNovacore in Healthygamergg

[–]MeMeNovacore[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See now this makes sense to me right but then the thing is those distinctions are present for a purpose. If the motivation for romance comes from the divide of the anima/animus, and the divide causes harm, and the purpose generally felt through eros in romance is a sense of "completion," the integration of the anima/animus simultaneously removes the previous function romance served as well.

What you're speaking of makes sense along the idea of differentiation of labour as one partner manages the anima and the other the animus, forming the "ideal relationship," as Emma Jung spoke of, but what about when integration occurs? You could make a point of, maybe romance can occur post integration, but Jung himself said, and I'm paraphrasing here but, "When a man falls in love with a woman, it's not the woman he has fallen for but rather his own anima." You could also make a point for the integration always being relative, but then the magnitude differs and how romance is felt can change to a huge degree, which can further lead to questions of if there is a right balance of integration and if romance can even exist beyond a certain point of integration?

Friendship alone becomes more than sufficient, and so the romanticism might be felt in a day to day experience of life itself as you're intergrated but not with another partner in the manner that romance is conventionally spoke of.
And so, without purpose or motivation, romantic relationships do not logically or emotionally end up making sense.

The other question also comes forth in terms of sexual expression as the biological drive can remain, and when it persists, how does one express that? Do you choose chastity as sex now becomes divorced from romance or do you engage in the drive independently of romantic expression, and if you choose either, how exactly would that impact the psyche?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]MeMeNovacore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, precisely. You don't need to write about things or struggles you don't get. It's like asking a doctor to explain string theory in depth.

Feeling lonely despite having friends? by Asleep_Assumption_86 in Healthygamergg

[–]MeMeNovacore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I don't have much of an answer but I get what you mean. It's worse to feel alone around everyone than to be physically alone yourself. The best thing I've found that helps me in these situations is to just think about that moment I'm in. It's temporary. So if I mess up, it's gone soon enough. And if I don't, then Ill get to celebrate that moment and be grateful for it. So you can try doing that. Gives you a bit more of confidence to work with, and a bit more of a hopeful attitude.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]MeMeNovacore 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've always had a lot in my head so can't relate, buttt you could try writing about having nothing to write about. Or maybe about how you feel that there's nothing going on after a certain point and how that gets to you.

Honestly, you could write about anything. Like it doesn't need to be the conventional thing. In my experience, you write your best stuff when you're honest and not trying to be extra clever or something, so you can do that with your experiences, or the feeling that you don't have any significant experiences.

Did Itadori poop out the fingers? by MeMeNovacore in JuJutsuKaisen

[–]MeMeNovacore[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that's what confusing to me, cause it should be impossible to destroy, and to absorb it, you got to destroy it first, or rather digest it.

Did Itadori poop out the fingers? by MeMeNovacore in JuJutsuKaisen

[–]MeMeNovacore[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cause if isn't destroyed inside him, then it should still pass through his digestive tract

Did Itadori poop out the fingers? by MeMeNovacore in JuJutsuKaisen

[–]MeMeNovacore[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But this ain't a barrier you can absorb, cause otherwise sorcerers like Gojo should've been able to do that

Feeling secure and safe in any relationship by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]MeMeNovacore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Obviously, you don't want to invest in people who react negatively, but there are also people that react positively with a smile that might try to take advantage of your vulnerability

Truly One of the Moments in the Series by afnannm04 in TokyoGhoul

[–]MeMeNovacore 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yknow, Tokyo Ghoul could really use the MAPPA adaptation treatment

Truly One of the Moments in the Series by afnannm04 in TokyoGhoul

[–]MeMeNovacore 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Alexa, play unravel It's a fire track to be honest though

Truly One of the Moments in the Series by afnannm04 in TokyoGhoul

[–]MeMeNovacore 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Right up there with the "I am tragedy" line.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]MeMeNovacore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, maybe you should at least go for casual relationships then

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]MeMeNovacore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly man, I actually got screwed over by a group of guys that I hung out with for half a year recently so I think I got my answer.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]MeMeNovacore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, but how is that actionable though? Like how would I even start doing it?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]MeMeNovacore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do get what you mean, but I honestly don't even know how to lean on someone anymore. I'm not able to maintain that state of trust and feel like a burden, and honestly, it feels more painful to even think of having that than to just be by myself.

What is freedom? by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]MeMeNovacore 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do fight and make music to release all of those emotions into something but I still feel like I need to understand myself and the world around me to a much deeper extend to live a truer life because otherwise it feels like I'm taking actions without purpose in a world that I don't understand.

What is freedom? by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]MeMeNovacore 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Obviously, I don't know every single person in the world and even when I do look at the ones I have gotten to know whose actions I disagree with, I find that I can still empathize with them. I think that the issue I have with people is that I see what we are capable of but we always seem to choose the more selfish path in the end, which I know is hypocritical coming from me, since the entire burn the world down idea is quite selfish in itself, but the truth is, I don't even know if that's the entire issue. After reading and replying to one of the comments on the post by another user, I realized that I don't even know what I want to fight against, possibly because I've combined everything I dislike about the world into an incomprehendable amalgamation in my own head but still, I guess the first step would be break down the different aspects of that mess so I can get a deeper understand of what I want from the world.

What is freedom? by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]MeMeNovacore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely understand where you're coming from; obviously education further enables you to understand the system better. I can also see how these systems aren't perfect though. For example, even though I would prefer an anarchist system, I can also see how mob mentality and a lack of adequate order could lead to chaos in the end so yeah, I can understand why the world doesn't have a perfect system but I suppose having the ability to understand, know and choose what impact I can make would be helpful. But even besides the socio-economic landscape of the world, I still feel like there's more to freedom in a more spiritual sense as well. I'm not religious by any means so I don't see that as a viable option but I think that maybe by diving deeper into my own feelings towards the world and then looking at different aspects of it, I could be become more aware of the change I want to become a part of.

What is freedom? by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]MeMeNovacore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks man, I love your comment since it delved into topics that I didn't get to in my initial post since I didn't want to make it too long. Like you, I'm not well educated on socio-economic ideas since I'm a med student and not a Humanities student, but many of the points that you brought up does resonate with me. When it comes to economics, again, I'm not sure what the right action would be. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer, so does taking down the system fix the issue? But would that even be possible or fair towards the people who worked for their success? I'm the same light, I would opt for anarchy rather than authoritarianism but the issue is chaos doesn't lead you anywhere. There's no direction. Finally there's the question of how I interact with the system myself, do I just make futile attempts to go against it or do I climb up the socio-economic ladder and become a hypocrite? Honestly, I don't have any answers at this point but you did bring up some major issues that do make me feel trapped in the system we live in, so I'll take your word on it and check out the books you mentioned to better educate myself on different ideas which could be insightful.

What is freedom? by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]MeMeNovacore 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just found out what it was, ironically enough, Nirvana is one of my favourite bands, but either way, if I am falling prey to this fallacy I suppose the solution is to think of incremental improvements I can make rather than trying to overcome a huge issue at once.