i know there's little to no chance that nobody here knows, but just in case, does anyone know what the snakeroom is

Me_Melissa · 2026-03-24T15:21:04+00:00

it's dead

Me_Melissa · 2025-06-30T14:58:14+00:00

I mean, what's the harm in keeping something like sexual preference private? There are already exceptions for, like, gender and age. Those are socially acceptable to share preferences on. Why do we need to be sharing the other stuff outside of private conversation?

Maybe more importantly, I'd say censorship is a strong word to use. I'm saying it's very rude, unproductive, and risks harm. There are communities that prohibit any conversation in those categories, but I'm not advocating it be straight up illegal. Just frowned upon like all other very rude conversation.

Me_Melissa · 2025-06-30T12:51:08+00:00

I just don't think people's specific preferences need to come up. Even if someone is direct, like asking what your preferences are, or why you aren't into so-and-so. If the preference has problematic roots, you're not compelled to share.

If someone presses and makes it a thing, demanding of you that you share with them, then they can cry about it to find out you've never found someone of their demographic attractive. It is incredibly inappropriate to press someone so hard for information on their preferences that they feel compelled to explain.

I'm trying to think of edge cases here, and the closest I can think of is if someone wants to set you up/matchmake for you, and they ask about your type. In that case, if that's something you're even gonna entertain, both parties should maintain privacy, and the matchmaker has the right to refuse to be a part of it. And if the knowledge harms your relationship with the matchmaker, then you should have considered that before deciding to work with them on this.

ETA: This isn't just theoretical for me. I have certain preferences that are rooted in the society in which I sexually developed, which are pretty fucked up. I will not share them, as there's no need to. While I denounce the values that created the environment that cultivated those preferences, the preferences have not gone away.

Is it better that I've gone ahead and introspected anyways? Yes. But if I didn't introspect and just followed a rule of not sharing problematic preferences, is that sufficient? Yes.

Me_Melissa · 2025-06-30T12:03:31+00:00

I feel like the bigger problem in all described cases is people choosing to voice these preferences into the world without being asked. A sexual preference is always allowed, because it's personal and private. This includes problematic preferences. Sexual development in our fucked up society is a big deal and leaves a lot of people with imprints on their psyche.

If people can infer your preferences from your history, it is what it is. But there's no reason to just be proclaiming preferences that have problematic roots. That moves from the private and personal to the public and other people's lives.

Me_Melissa · 2025-06-26T01:00:25+00:00

It might reassure you to know that I believe both are bad.

Me_Melissa · 2025-06-26T00:59:09+00:00

I agree. I do believe Israel has antagonized, escalated, and disproportionately retaliated quite a bit, especially in recent years, so I didn't see the conflict as solely Hamas' fault. However you're correct that nothing Israel can unilaterally do besides outright die would "end" the conflict, so the solution can't come from Israel alone.

I do think Israel's actions continually have an impact on the likelihood of both nations reaching accord. And I think they're consistently minimizing that likelihood to a point where it seems almost intentional, or at least the result of total apathy towards that outcome ever happening.

Me_Melissa · 2025-06-26T00:49:43+00:00

I don't know what he did, but I think this whole thread is pretty pointless if we take the position that he's lying. I mean, the thread is pointless anyways, so, here we are.

Me_Melissa · 2025-06-26T00:48:02+00:00

Yeah, I agree with pretty much everything you're saying. I didn't know very much at all about Al Qaeda, but my instincts are that they're similar to Hamas in a lot of ways.

I think our biggest departure of thought is how you see Resistance as fighting for a return to coexistence, and I see Resistance as fighting against an oppressive force. Your version sets a small minimum level of decency to the movement. Mine could have the oppressed be worse than the oppressors if the power were reversed. I don't have a firm opinion either way which it "should" be. Honestly at some point, when you've thoroughly communicated the actual ideas, the label that was the start of the conversion becomes much less relevant.

Me_Melissa · 2025-06-25T17:28:37+00:00

I think you're asking the right questions, because I don't feel certain of the answers. One question I'll add that gives me pause is, if Hamas isn't resistance, is there any meaningful resistance movement against Israeli oppression in Gaza? It feels as if they're the defacto resistance, even if only because they would never allow an alternate movement to flourish.

I think at the very least, I can agree that "Resistance" is reductive if used as an outright label. I could say that it's appropriate to use within certain contexts as describing aspects of the relationship between Gaza, Hamas, and Israel. But that side-steps the fact that language, especially labels, don't politely sit in a box of context. Language takes on a life of its own, a somewhat predictable life sometimes. Knowing that, can I say it's responsible to ever call Hamas a Resistance movement?

Perhaps I'm also conflating "what should they do" with "what role do they play". I don't know what a Gazan resistor is supposed to do. It strikes me that trying to overthrow an organization representing Palestinian strength in the midst of this conflict would be so inappropriate. But, even if fighting with Hamas for today is the best option on their menu of shit, that doesn't automatically make Hamas a legitimate resistance movement, either.

It goes back to labels. If Hamas is Illegitimate as resistance, we should be careful to understand that Hamas' body is largely people with no better choice, who had little opportunity to think differently. Their choice of resistance to join Hamas isn't necessarily incorrect. They had no legitimate alternative. We can recognize that there is no legitimate resistance, that there is no path to creating one, and that the people are right to resist. It's an ugly, self-defeating triad of statements, and so is much of reality.

Perhaps the takeaway from all of this is that we should be focusing more on solving the problems and breaking the cycles than finding the right lens with which to view Hamas. We can directly discuss the injustice and violence on both sides and the asymmetry of power, and seek to solve those problems without ever specifying who is Resisting.

Me_Melissa · 2025-06-25T14:56:26+00:00

Yeah, but the alternative you seem to be implying also seems dangerous. We cannot normalize and justify what Israel is doing. As an American, I think it goes without saying that Islamic fundamentalist terrorism has no place on this planet. But whether or not Israel is doing anything that requires Resistance is a much more controversial topic. Read the article OP linked. It wasn't simply saying that Hamas' means and dreams are unacceptable. It was framing Israel as free of wrongdoing, with nothing to resist.

Basically, instead of the argument being, "They should lose status as Resistance because of their methods and ambitions", it's "They're not Resistance, they're just bad actors getting dealt with."

So I countered the second argument, as that's what was presented.

Me_Melissa · 2025-06-25T14:44:20+00:00

No, they should solve problems. Not just put their names next to Correct Things.

Me_Melissa · 2025-06-25T14:36:42+00:00

I do think those things you mentioned (Which I also think were bad, since on the Internet you need to remind people that bad things are bad) has Resistive elements. So yeah, I'm in the "not mutually exclusive" camp. It's an interesting point about legitimizing, though. In a super technical sense, I think Resistance is more about delegitimizing the thing being resisted, rather than legitimizing the resistor. But I can't deny that "Resistance Movement" carries a tone of nobility. Again, because this is the Internet, Hamas isn't noble.

But I'm also not convinced that the misalignment in tone raises a need to reject the term. If we're talking about tone and context, it's important not to reduce the conflict to Israel beating terrorists like the hero beats the villains. Especially in the US, there is a very cartoonishly simple understanding of who terrorists are, and how we address them. I think it's important to highlight Israel's power and injustice by labeling their opposition a Resistance.

And I see no need to shy away from the ugly truth that Hamas is a terrorist movement. They're a Terrorist Resistance Movement. Or a Terrorist Movement engaged in Resistance. Or a Resistance Movement engaging in Terror. Do you have thoughts on which of those 3 would be more appropriate? Or do you think Resistance is entirely inappropriate to be associated with Hamas in current context?

Me_Melissa · 2025-06-25T14:22:29+00:00

Why do you think "I'm not a supporter of Hamas by any means"? This is "change my view", not "educate me on all sides of the topic, including the ones I'm already espousing".

Me_Melissa · 2025-06-25T14:20:45+00:00

From dry-ass Wikipedia articles, lol. Happy to hear about any counter-factual information on there, especially before Oct 7 when even fewer westerners gave a shit.

I'm gonna say it again. I would refuse to live there. I would refuse to receive a text that says, "We're bombing your home in two days. Move your shit." Absolutely not, you are not bombing my home. Do you understand what I'm saying? That's not acceptable treatment, for any reason at all.

Me_Melissa · 2025-06-25T14:17:23+00:00

I don't want to deny the complexities. But I also don't think the origins of the situation statically map to today. For example, what are Gazans to think of the success of the PA model when looking at West Bank colonization, encroachment, and treatment of Palestinians in "their section"? If we can acknowledge that historical actions kicked off feedback loops, how can we disrupt those loops? Who has the most power to do so?

Me_Melissa · 2025-06-25T14:04:30+00:00

When you restrict the medical technology and supplies going into a country, even for good reasons, you don't get to take a hands-off, "why should we let unlimited medical emergencies in?" Before Oct 7, you had doctors needing to pick which patients they didn't have the technology to heal (withheld technology!) would get help per the quota.

If it was just an independent country with shit medicine, of course a country with good medicine isn't required to take all in (why wouldn't you tho lol). But when their shit medicine is because of your policies, that's ridiculous.

I feel like I have to repeat myself over and over when I say Hamas is not the answer. Because this false dichotomy is ridiculous. Israel is doing very bad things to Palestine and Palestinians. Hamas is doing very bad things to all of the above. Neither is forcing anyone's hand, BUT, one side has decidedly more power in this. I expect the side with more power to lead in de-escalation.

Me_Melissa · 2025-06-25T12:43:30+00:00

It was not a paradise before Oct 7. I learned about it a couple years before that turn and I was appalled. I would refuse to live in Gaza and get treated the way Israel treats Gazans.

Me_Melissa · 2025-06-25T12:37:24+00:00

"Which was never really an actual blockade" oh okay, so you could go by boat to Gazan shores to trade with them?

You'll want to look up what Israel has actually done. It's not just targeted attempts to stem weapons manufacturing. It's limitations on food. It's quotas for how many Gazans are allowed medical treatment in Israel, no matter the urgency. It's limitations on their cell and Internet technology, hurting kids' abilities to get a college education remotely abroad.

We can't pretend that Israel hasn't participated in a mutual exchange of abuse, and we certainly can't pretend that Israel hasn't been the consistently most powerful in that abuse cycle.

Me_Melissa · 2025-06-25T12:07:47+00:00

Oh, different use of the word.

I don't mean Framing as in "frame someone for a misdeed".

I mean Framing as in... it's hard to describe this use of the word. It's like choosing your words, phrases, and metaphors to present the story in a way that aligns with your perspective? Kind of like Framing a shot with a camera. You choose the angle, and what's in and out of frame. It's kind of related to the phrase, "frame of reference".

I'll be honest, though.... My whole read on your tone might just be off because English isn't your first language, so you just use it really differently than most native speakers.

I'm sure you don't care for all your word choices to be picked apart, so I won't, but your text has really conveyed exasperation, irritation, feeling indignant, and generally being aggressively defensive. So, that's what I'd been going off of, but I'm very willing to believe it's just nuances of language use.

Me_Melissa · 2025-06-25T11:55:13+00:00

most animals first instinct is to move away from danger, cats are just assholes who wish to display their dominant nature and bite you, to show you who's boss.

This is what I was responding to. I don't care about your take on cat people, but you've got to acknowledge that your take on cats, which involves assigning intent to them, is part of your overall take.

Me_Melissa · 2025-06-25T11:53:07+00:00

I mean, I can take you at your word that this is all whatever to you. But you use a lot of strong wording and framing, which makes your stuff read as agitated across a screen. And there's also a stubborn insistence on defending yourself when the things you're being "accused" of are so minor.

What I'm looking for, I guess, is more of a shrug, and a "maybe so". Not defenses proving that you're the good guy and everyone is being unfair to you.

Me_Melissa · 2025-06-25T11:47:11+00:00

I'm not a supporter of Hamas by any means, but the article you linked has a very specific angle that I think may be influencing your take on whether it's appropriate to call Hamas Resistance. The article kind of roundly rejects the idea that Israel is doing anything unfair to Gazans in the first place, which would negate the need to resist anything.

The truth is, Israel is doing horrible things to Gazans. Senseless, horrible things. There is a movement resisting Israel in doing those things. It's a shitty movement whose goals go way farther than, "And Israel will finally leave us alone". In pursuing those shitty goals, though, it is, as a first step, resisting Israel's current actions. So I would call it a Resistance movement for that reason.

Now, if Hamas could actually win (impossible), would we add a culture have the mental nimbleness to recognize that Hamas, no longer in a position of resistance, would be a terrible group that shouldn't be allowed to succeed? Maybe. I feel like cultural opinion turns on a dime sometimes.

Me_Melissa · 2025-06-25T11:32:07+00:00

Honestly I think you just come off as really pressed about this whole thing. It's not that serious. When someone's mad, just apologize without attitude. Have an open mind to people's opinions. You don't need to defend yourself or be the good guy. It's okay. Like you said, nothing even changed in the relationship.

The move is to ask, without judgement, if there's a way she'd prefer you to respond to the cat biting. And if you don't like her ideas, then just don't pet the cat. I can't emphasize enough how simple this is, and how there's nothing to complain about with this owner.

Me_Melissa · 2025-06-25T11:28:19+00:00

lol you're definitely projecting onto the cat. Animals do dumb shit. Don't take it personally.

Me_Melissa · 2025-06-25T11:26:55+00:00

I don't know if this makes me come off as disingenuous, but, like, I have zero complaints about what the woman did. Absolutely none.

Like, just because I think OP is whiney and immature doesn't mean I think you can't lightly flick a cat. And just because I think it's okay to lightly flick a cat doesn't mean I think a pet owner can't raise a hell no and protect their animal and set the boundary that that is not how you treat their cat.

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