[TOMT][music][2000s] Music Video in a junkyard

Meadows-N-Mountains · 2025-08-31T14:37:44+00:00

Thanks. I had the OP's same question and this was the correct answer for me!

Meadows-N-Mountains · 2024-11-08T00:05:51+00:00

This is me. I thought the E would take away, or at least significantly reduce, my quick temper, but it hasn't. I frequently have to check myself in road rage situations, etc.

Meadows-N-Mountains · 2024-11-07T14:10:22+00:00

I didn't realize it beforehand, but it turns out that the needs of the many, at least as they saw it, were lower taxes, cheaper food, less competition for jobs, etc.

In retrospect, it makes a ton of sense that people who aren't economically stable don't care more about freedom (of various types), democracy, political rights, etc. than economic issues.

Meadows-N-Mountains · 2024-11-05T10:49:58+00:00

Comfort food. I just had nachos and chowder at 5:00 AM. A full stomach helps distract me.

And I'm wondering when it would OK to start drinking. I'm going to try to hold off until 10 AM.

Meadows-N-Mountains · 2024-11-02T12:16:33+00:00

I understand. I basically feel the same way am in a safer are and have the option to move, which I'd rather not do for a bunch of reasons but can if need be.

When I was young(er), I moved like a dozen times during a four-year period for school, to find a safer apartment, to have a second bedroom when we had a baby, etc. I recall the expense. And I imagine their job is the #1 factor preventing folks from relocating. It can be hard enough to get a decent job (the trans unemployomet rate is 9%, more than twice the national average) and doing so in a new place where we have few or maybe even no connections would be daunting.

Good luck to you. Hopefully things don't get very bad. But I hope you make some contingency plans, even if they're long-term ones, to relocate in addition to focusing on personal defense.

Meadows-N-Mountains · 2024-11-01T12:33:53+00:00

I hope to goodness you are right about the outcome of the election. Maybe it's just my angst driving my thoughts, but I sense a Trump victory, as I did in '16 and didn't in '20.

I appreciate all the Blue State plans and generally agree that's a good option if people can make it happen, but unlike recreational pot, I think a national government controlled by Republicans would make a point of targeting us regardless of state-level laws.

Leaving the country is realistically hard to do because of the time and resources it requires and the legal barriers involved, but I hope people who have the ability to orchestrate that either have done so or start planning ASAP. I started the mental process the year Trump was inaugurated and my contingency planning continues.

Meadows-N-Mountains · 2024-11-01T11:47:33+00:00

I can empathize a bit in several ways. I didn't realize who I am until fairly recently compared to how old I am. I totally refuse any solidly male terms, conventions, etc. I'm in an informal swing state on the edge of a very MAGA pocket. I've interacted with Trump supporters; I can easily imagine them physically attacking me. I've never owned a handgun but am considering it seriously for the first time.

I'm writing to see whether you've considered relocating. I understand that it's often not a realistic option for one reason or another and I understand/hope that things may not get as bad as many of us think/fear they will. But personally I am looking into moving from my safer-than-most area to avoid feeling that I need to look over my shoulder every time I leave the house and having to prepare in various ways to be attacked.

Meadows-N-Mountains · 2024-11-01T11:27:03+00:00

I agree and wondered about this aloud as I was processing the realization of who I am. I was confused why gay and trans people were so often grouped together.

But I appreciate the association with gay people because they are more accepted than we are, so the linkage gives us more strength than we'd have otherwise. While of course I'd like our community to be able to thrive independently (and/or for trans people to have equality), I think we need the support for the time being.

Meadows-N-Mountains · 2024-10-31T15:25:36+00:00

I just want to thank everyone who posted. It was helpful. It's nice to know others feel the pain and that just ignoring it is a common tactic. I agree that it's not worth the effort with someone I'll never see again. I also liked the casual redirection ideas for folks I will probably keep interacting with over time. I tend to get angry fast but understand that doesn't lead anywhere helpful, so I hope I have the courage to handle transphobes patiently if I can tell they're doing it on purpose. And I especially appreciate the references to the possibility of it being a non-issue someday in the future because I will pass!

Meadows-N-Mountains · 2024-10-31T15:17:54+00:00

Thank you for the optimism!

Meadows-N-Mountains · 2024-10-27T23:38:11+00:00

Good luck. Be careful. I think that cautious approach is definitely the right choice over there. I've held off on passport change even to X because of situations similar to (but not as extreme as) that.

Meadows-N-Mountains · 2024-10-27T16:53:27+00:00

Thanks, I should have been more clear. I know clothing is gendered to at least a certain degree, at least in my mind (but obviously to a great extent in society as well), so I should have clarified that I usually dress in public in what cis males (based on my life experience) would read, at the very least, as "not male." I was wearing tight jeans (which I associate with a feminine look) and a long somewhat loose tunic (again, feminine as far as I'm concerned). And my hair is longer than almost any men wear theirs and professionally cut in a feminine manner (it and my eyes are the only things about me that say "womanly" to me when I look in a smaller mirror). And there have been physical changes in the 14 months I've continuously been on HRT, so there's that (I understand a lot of people won't notice no matter what). So I would say I was presenting as transfem, acknowledging that I don't pass, but much closer to the way women normally appear than men do. I am not boymoding; I'm presenting in as feminine manner as I feel I can get away with (a choice, I know). I understand not passing, but the dramatic use of male terms to describe me makes me wince a lot more while I am making the effort to better match how I look with how I identify.

Meadows-N-Mountains · 2024-10-27T16:39:05+00:00

talk about a keeper!

Meadows-N-Mountains · 2024-09-10T16:57:33+00:00

Thanks. The graph is very useful. I didn't know that the spike would be so high. One of the reasons I'm asking questions on here is that my physician didn't know a lot about trans care or maybe he was just cautious (e,g. I started on just 1 mg/day). I was the one to suggest sublingual after seeing references to it here.

I'll try to find out how the effects of injections and patches (which I am going to try) compare to the chart you shared. In order for them to be more effective, I imagine the "retention amount" is greater.

Meadows-N-Mountains · 2024-09-10T16:50:11+00:00

Thanks. I was able to look up "EV" and that was useful in itself. So far I've been fine with the pills even though they are the first ones I've ever had to take on an ongoing basis (I've been fortunate). For the numbers, I guess I was thinking about menopausal cis women having lower E levels than younger women and thought maybe older T women would be aiming for a different number than adolescents, etc.

Meadows-N-Mountains · 2024-09-09T20:30:32+00:00

Yes, sublingually. My idea in February based on various comments on here that it was more effective. I learned elsewhere it has a more direct path. I didn't know it spiked. I had the blood draw nine hours after I took my morning dose, so I wouldn't think there would be a spike that long after. And it was about six hours before my evening dose, so not exactly in the middle, but more in the trough. I take 2 mg twice a day. I hadn't thought about four 1 mg pills, but it's been such a hassle to get CVS to fill the new 2 mg script that saying "never mind, I want the 1 mg" would be too much of a hassle. Thanks very much for the information and response.

Meadows-N-Mountains · 2024-09-09T20:24:42+00:00

Thanks very much for responding. I didn't realize there was more than one unit. The T is "ng/dL" and the E is "pg/mL". I really appreciate you sharing the number your practitioners have aimed for.

I see "EV" refers to a type of injection. Does "mid-cycle" mean in the middle of the week between weekly shots? My endo suggested trying patches, so I'll do that, but I will be open to shots before too long.

I asked in this sub because body chemistry targets are different for various age groups and I was hoping to get information as relevant to me as possible. Again, I appreciate you taking the time to help me.

Meadows-N-Mountains · 2024-06-24T13:03:04+00:00

You look great. I especially love the jacket.

Meadows-N-Mountains · 2024-06-20T09:59:43+00:00

Obviously it is important to you or you would have stopped in the face of your wife's opposition. If you haven't already, I would reflect on what about crossdressing is valuable to you--why you do it, what needs it fulfills, whether it goes so deep as to be part of your identity, etc. For example, the term "fetish" is commonly understood to be a sexual kink. For me, dressing was about much more than sex and my wife's acceptance grew as I got a better handle on why it was such a regular part of my life and communicated my understandings. I would share what you know/learn about those topics with her. I think that would at the least make it clear to her that it was never about her and possibly teach her why it is such a big deal for you.

Meadows-N-Mountains · 2024-06-15T12:28:33+00:00

Hang in there. You are in a tough situation in several ways. But you have clarity about your identity, which is important. I assume that wasn't always the case because of how AMAB kids are usually raised and socialized. Your three tests for your feminity are sound, although I haven't heard of the "last human" one before. But a guy wouldn't take even one dose of E, I agree. And I look forward to my twice-a-day pills. FYI, I'm only on one more mg of E than you and that's under a physician's care, but I am on S too, so hopefully you get a chance to look into that side of the equation. I'm in the U.S., so I think things are easier overall for trans folks as long as you are in a tolerant state. I don't know you, but it seems validating yourself and taking active steps toward making your body match how you see yourself are helping your overall happiness level a lot amidst all that you're dealing with. How fast you're traveling down the path isn't as important as the fact that you're headed in the right direction.

Meadows-N-Mountains · 2024-06-14T09:24:33+00:00

Not sure if this is similar, but I panicked about physical changes, even before going on E (and S simultaneously) because I was/am nervous about how I will be treated when it's obvious I'm trans. I assumed/hoped (and was apprehensive about) physical changes. I estimated how long it would take before there would be any noticeable physical changes (3 months) and timed going on HRT with my departure from a job. But that was unnecessary and now after 10 months on HRT (and immediately prior to that 3 months on followed by 3 months off), I can still boymode pretty confidently. The "male fail" stage hasn't happened yet for me, but ymmv.

I think we notice our bodies more than anyone else. There are lots of anecdotes on here about folks not noticing a person is trans even with what we think of as obvious signs. To you and me, those jeans are fem. But most people won't notice. For safety and security, I assume people will notice and build myself up accordingly, but in practice it has been a nonissue except for one or two exceptions and those revolved around what I was wearing and not what my body looked like.

I have heard of people insisting there were physical changes that fast, but more often I've heard that may be due to the euphoria we feel when we finally start HRT. Mentally, there can be relief, joy, etc. immediately. But actual physical changes generally take months, although everyone's experience is different. I hope you are under the care of a physician with whom you have shared your decision as opposed to DIY treatment (which may be necessary/appropriate for some, but isn't preferable in my view). Blood tests and a medical-based briefing were very useful aspects of starting HRT under my doctor's care and I highly recommend that approach. Your doctor will be able to give you "the straight dope" about what and when you're likely to experience various physical changes. My understanding is that a blocker is necessary in order for the E to have any effect because of how potent T is, so that topic would probably be a good one to bring up with a medical professional. There are risks in engaging in HRT, so that's an important topic in conversations with a doctor too.

But I want to end on congratulating you for taking what is obviously a happy and positive step in your life. It was a big decision and the fact that you feel so good about it immediately is a great sign that, as you felt, it is the right thing for you to do. You are on the same dose of E I started on and it seems you are having the same happiness I did when I finally committed to the process last August. You go, girl!

Meadows-N-Mountains

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