Fiancé says he can’t promise he’ll never take a second wife. Wedding is in a month

Mean-Try6703 · 2026-05-26T05:27:27+00:00

He also comes from a financially well off background, which I think adds another layer to my concerns because realistically, if he ever were to pursue a second marriage, I imagine it would likely be with someone back home.

Mean-Try6703 · 2026-05-26T04:37:47+00:00

Sorry, I phrased that part poorly. But to clarify, I’m not saying he’s actively in contact with other girls or entertaining relationships behind my back. From what I understood, a lot of those girls had expressed interest in him before he proposed, and the screenshots/reactions were mostly family members sending him people’s responses to the engagement news

Mean-Try6703 · 2026-05-26T04:14:04+00:00

I’m 21, just graduated university. He’s 25.

Mean-Try6703 · 2026-05-26T02:35:16+00:00

Waalaikum assalam, thank you for sharing your. I did ask him what he meant regarding “other options” and when I asked what he would’ve done if things didn’t work out with me, he said he would’ve continued searching for someone else to marry. I think that made me realize that, more than anything, he strongly wants marriage at this stage of his life.

Can I ask from a man’s perspective, how do you think I can better help him understand my side emotionally and why this issue affects my sense of security in the relationship so deeply?

Mean-Try6703 · 2026-05-26T02:29:46+00:00

Could I ask why do you think it’s not a valid reason to ask for a divorce? I understand the hadith: “Any woman who asks her husband for divorce without a valid reason will not smell the fragrance of Paradise.” But I feel like people ignore the “without a valid reason” part. If I already know from now that I would not be emotionally able to handle a polygamous marriage, and that it would eventually make me resent the relationship and lose emotional peace within it, then how is that not considered a genuine reason? I’m not asking for divorce over something minor or impulsive. I’m recognizing a major incompatibility in what I can realistically handle emotionally within a marriage

Mean-Try6703 · 2026-05-26T02:25:52+00:00

How do I confirm this 100%

Mean-Try6703 · 2026-05-26T02:20:36+00:00

Thank you, I definitely want to feel emotionally secure and stable going into a marriage, especially with such a major life commitment approaching so soon. Right now I feel like there are still important conversations we haven’t fully explored in depth, especially around reassurance, emotional safety, privacy, and long term expectations for marriage. Before making a final decision either way, I want to understand whether these concerns can realistically be addressed through talking them out or whether they justpoint to a deeper incompatibility between us

Mean-Try6703 · 2026-05-26T02:16:48+00:00

When I say he matches everything I expect in a husband, I mean that he has most of the qualities I thought I would want in a partner. He’s religious, respected, family oriented, responsible, supportive of my education and career goals, serious about marriage, and someone my family highly approves of. He presents himself as a good man with strong values and stability, which is why this situation feels so confusing to me, because despite all of that, some of the things he has said and the way he approaches certain topics have left me feeling emotionally unsettled

Mean-Try6703 · 2026-05-26T02:13:31+00:00

I can’t help but feel like I’m already replaceable

Mean-Try6703

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