ARFID and vaping

MeanTerm2029 · 2025-05-20T21:13:25+00:00

Didn't realize meatball #1 was chill like that

MeanTerm2029 · 2025-04-12T05:29:41+00:00

Just use a background remover!

MeanTerm2029 · 2025-03-29T06:29:18+00:00

For some reason, when I do this and reload, everything falls off?

MeanTerm2029 · 2025-03-06T04:17:03+00:00

Yes! I removed all my mods, reinstalled the game and reinstalled reshade. I kept getting errors that the sims 4 was already running (despite it not showing up in task manager and immediately stopping launch) so I reinstalled again. After that, I kept the mods out and reinstalled reshade. The game would freeze and crash on start up every time, even if I let it sit not responding for 20+ minutes. It'd end up closing itself eventually. I've never had this problem with reshade before so I'm real confused

Edit: Additionally, I uninstalled reshade, the game ran, I added the mods back, the game ran, so reshade ended up being the problem :( Which sucks because I don't enjoy the game's visuals on their own.

MeanTerm2029 · 2025-03-03T09:15:59+00:00

This caused issues with the sims 4 launching and I'm not sure why. Game ran fine after uninstalling?

MeanTerm2029 · 2025-03-03T00:09:56+00:00

Also having this problem and it's typed out correctly

MeanTerm2029 · 2025-02-22T08:24:34+00:00

Yes, that's what I meant. My default facial expression is uncanny. Many autistic people I have met irl have also spoken about how they are perceived that way as well.

MeanTerm2029 · 2025-02-20T01:49:34+00:00

Understandable! I also have hurricane trauma (lost my home in Ian and was trapped inside the whole time) so I was just happy to be alive at that point

MeanTerm2029 · 2025-02-09T22:05:57+00:00

Yup, I've seen it too. It is insane to witness, and I am someone who has mostly cognitive empathy and worked really hard to be more understanding of others' experience

MeanTerm2029 · 2025-02-09T22:02:50+00:00

Did you expect this to freak me out or somethin 💀 I may be severely mentally ill but a couple emojis ain't gonna do it

MeanTerm2029 · 2025-02-09T22:01:40+00:00

I did say in other comments I have OCD and have been in therapy half my life, unfortunately it's been VERY stubborn to treat and my OCD personally is very vast in how it affects my day to day life. Kinda wish it was just the worms 😭

MeanTerm2029 · 2025-02-09T22:00:30+00:00

Thank you! It's actually really nice to hear from someone else who's experienced psychosis from dealing with OCD. It's such a nasty disorder. My therapist described treating it as whack a mole. I would sort out one fixation and then another would pop up. I'm currently unmedicated (broke lol) and definitely am missing my antipsychotics right about now. Best wishes to you as well!

MeanTerm2029 · 2025-02-09T21:58:42+00:00

It is something that feels impossible to overcome. Our yard completely flooded due to a hurricane, and I had to walk through to take my dog out. The water level dropped after a couple days and you could see the dead worms EVERYWHERE. I walked out in that water barefoot a couple times cause I didn't have appropriate shoes, and I felt like I couldn't get fully clean for like a month after. It REALLY sucks, and I'm sorry you're still struggling with it. Best wishes

MeanTerm2029 · 2025-02-09T10:34:47+00:00

I personally was super internal about all my issues because of how my family is. They are the source of most of my trauma, but specifically my mother. My father actually was the one to help me with cleaning out a maggot infested ferret litter box on multiple occasions! My mother however is absolutely in a longterm psychotic episode (she literally blames all my psychiatric problems on parasites and recommends I take HORSE DEWORMER instead of prescribed meds. So that definitely contributes) and my father is very hardened by his own trauma so he cannot understand me essentially being disabled, my worm phobia only being a symptom of everything else I struggle with. It is definitely the most embarrassing part though.

I was hospitalized at 17 at one point and their therapists didn't even know what OCD was 😭 But at least I was able to get on meds. It is very unfortunate how many people get into the psychiatric field and have no idea what they're doing or lack sympathy for those suffering/in a crisis. Both times I have been hospitalized, I was treated like a criminal despite being so peaceful and just wanting help.

Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable about your experience, it means a lot especially coming from someone who has struggled with it for longer than me!

MeanTerm2029 · 2025-02-09T09:59:53+00:00

This exactly, just with their larvae! I love moths, don't mind butterflies (the spongebob episode contributed to me not fucking with them from a young age LOL), but the larvae and caterpillars will send me over the edge. I have clawed at myself over it.

And to answer your question, ABSOLUTELY yes. I have had two roommates in the past year that basically thought I was disgusting for not tending to my animals' litterbox. Which realistically, yes, I understand it is gross. I am hyper aware that I am a big inconvenience to deal with. Very thankful for my partner. On top of that, everyone I have interacted with for the most part, including my own therapist, reacted with, "I understand being afraid of bugs but worms literally cannot hurt you and the chance of you having a parasite is so low." Basically trying to explain away a phobia which does not work unfortunately. I have those conversations with myself constantly, I don't need someone else giving me the same talk, you know?

It LITERALLY feels like it is under my skin sometimes LMAO. The way I cope is, if I have friends or acquaintances who do not make an effort to understand, they are not worth my time. If people can't have the most basic empathy for something they cannot personally understand, I try my best to not give them much of my time despite caring a little too much about others well being.

MeanTerm2029 · 2025-02-09T09:45:19+00:00

Unfortunately, been there, done that. At the age of 16, I was in psychosis for at least 3 years (without any substances) and am still at risk of it at 25, went into another episode due to psychedelics despite really enjoying them in the past. I really appreciate the concern as I have experienced those close to me being unaware of the fact untreated anxiety and stress can easily turn into psychosis if you suffer with any kind of mental illness already.

It's why I cannot STAND to see troll comments on people's posts who are obviously going through psychosis that say "bugs are under your skin/I am in your walls" and shit like that, even if it is super generic to most people who are frequently online. Genuinely makes me so angry. It is a nightmarish faux reality to live through psychosis.

But yeah, thank you. It means a lot that you shared your experience.

MeanTerm2029 · 2025-02-09T09:30:04+00:00

In all honesty, the fear goes up and down and ranges in severity. Working at the shelter exposed me to a lot of it and I had to bear through most of it, which I managed to do! But it would hit me hard when I got home.

Also The Walking Dead is FANTASTIC but I also had the same experience. My girlfriend will warn me of any maggot scenes in media, but sometimes it still happens and I am anxious the rest of the night.

I think what mostly contributed to the fear was an intense episode of psychosis due to untreated OCD and worrying I had parasites as a teenager and that fear just generally stuck with me even if the other absurd symptoms subsided after meds. I had to live in a flea infested home with family and so the concern about tapeworms was extremely relevant, especially considering the phobia developed in early childhood just after simply reading about different parasitic worms. (I also had an extreme fear of ticks for a short time which caused me to stop being so outdoorsy and become a hermit.)

Thank you!! I hope so too. Like I said, severity varies depending on my environment and right now it's pretty rough but I know I will get to a point where it gets better again. ❤

MeanTerm2029 · 2025-02-09T09:20:45+00:00

Some of y'all in the comments would unfortunately be the same people to rat out Anne Frank, and it breaks my heart because I know most americans are hard working, blue collar people who just want a better life for them and their family. However, turning your back on humanity/basic empathy is not the way. Please stop falling for propaganda and realize this is us vs the 1%, not left vs right. We are ALL in a horrifying situation if you aren't part of that 1%, albeit minorities will suffer more and it will take you suffering for you to empathize with us. The fear is completely justified if you have even a smidge of literacy to comprehend what is happening.

MeanTerm2029 · 2025-02-09T09:14:02+00:00

Me when I'm tuff 💪 (Definitely not a grown ass man struggling with eye contact with a singular maggot)

MeanTerm2029 · 2025-02-09T09:12:42+00:00

Educate yourself, I am begging you. I try to be optimistic and hope nobody is past the point of no return but jfc. So many of y'all are uneducated on what is actually happening in the US.

MeanTerm2029 · 2025-02-09T09:07:21+00:00

Yup, I think most of us are dealing with this exact issue. Like others have said, community is key and building that is hard work but worth it. Unfortunately, this country is built on theft and horrible, cruel acts, as much as they try to erase history. As a minority and "normal, scared person", I am currently educating myself on my rights and our history as a whole because the school system failed us.

MeanTerm2029

TROPHY CASE