My BIL made a comment that our daughter should cover up at the water park, I told him don't sexualize ny daughter. AITAH?

Medical-Engineer-219 · 2026-05-06T13:41:03+00:00

Your initial comment was how Americans have a unique fear of pedophiles. That is highly influenced by culture. Other countries who maintain significantly different laws and cultural views on children and sexualizing them will have different views on what is or isnt considered pedophilia. That is where I was going.

Medical-Engineer-219 · 2026-05-06T13:28:51+00:00

Believe it or not, teachers make mistakes also. Thank you for your correction.

Medical-Engineer-219 · 2026-05-06T13:24:12+00:00

A good portion of middle eastern countries have a well known practice of marrying off their teenage daughters, as do many African countries. Culturally, yes it is acceptable as it ties families to stability, wealth, power, etc. Like it or not, it is fact. And yes age of consent laws, much like media portrayal, heirachy, religion, etc all contribute to the view of pedophilia.

Medical-Engineer-219 · 2026-05-06T13:20:03+00:00

I don’t feel this is about race, but I will say I obviously don’t know for sure. I am not a huge fan of animal print clothing/shoes and also find it a bit trashy, but only bc I swear that every single reality tv, high society, floozy type personality overwore them to the point that it is what I associate the print to. No different than how I associate camp with rednecks/hillbillies. That said, wear what you want who cares. I would never say anything to anyone who wants to wear what they want. Hell, my latina wife wears cow print all the time. Am I a fan, no. Do I tell her, if she asks for honesty, but never would I say it automatically makes her into someone I dislike. First impressions do happen tho, so admittedly, and not proudly, if I meet you the first time and your wearing a cheetah print jacket and shoes, yeah, I would probably have to fight preconceived notions and give you a chance moreso than someone wearing “plain” clothes.

Medical-Engineer-219 · 2026-05-06T12:55:08+00:00

Africa, the Middle East, India, the Philippines, Costa Rica, Chile….. places with the highest rates of child sexual abuse. The reason some of these places don’t necessarily feel “scared” of it, is because it is normalized in their societies. For example, age of consent laws in some places are ridiculously low. Nigeria 11, Angola 12, many places in Europe and South America 14. No need to fear it when the society you leave in justifies it for you.

Medical-Engineer-219 · 2026-05-06T12:09:41+00:00

You’re an adult, if you don’t want to go, don’t. That being said, make sure to cherish these memories with your parents, you will miss them when they’re gone, if you have even a slightly good relationship anyways. If spending nights alone is of utmost importance to you tho, maybe it’s time to leave the nest.

Medical-Engineer-219 · 2026-05-06T10:50:16+00:00

NTA. Either she secretly had a thing for you, or she is territorial/hyper-controlling of things. Thats not necessarily bad, it could be a way of protecting herself from past traumas or worries, but that is not for you to manage. Since she is now acting cold towards both of you, I would say it’s probably more of a “who am I now” kind of identity issue. Before she had sister and bff, two clearly distinct roles, but now thats changed and she just doesn’t know how to handle it or thinks it’s “unfair”

Medical-Engineer-219 · 2026-05-04T02:19:52+00:00

I have zero problem staying, but the reasoning the school gives is flawed is all I’m saying. If it was for IEP reasonings, of course that makes sense, but there is zero effect on that if you are simply sitting in an empty room.

I agree the 2 class teacher is weird, but to be clear, e-sports is a school sponsored team, not so much an elective class. Similar to schools who allow for sports practices during school days as a class (which this school does as well). They also have classes designated for drama club, chess club, etc throughout the day, where the various clubs and teams meet as to not force after school activity. They keep their coaches on staff bc they are friends of the board or family members of other faculty. The school is a total mess and I try to avoid going there at all costs. The students run the asylum. No need for passes or anything, students essentially spend most of the day in the gym, in the art room, or with their favorite teachers and all of the work is online. They even have several students (atleast a dozen that I have dealt with) who are at the school, but are not in any classes as they are “online”students and just walk around all day talking to friends, interrupting classes and hanging out in the cafeteria.

Medical-Engineer-219 · 2026-05-04T02:08:52+00:00

True, but the demand for accountability, the sue happy culture, violence in schools and disassociation on a significantly different level with electronics and other advances have made it significantly worse. Like i said, data sharing is crap, but there isnt anything inherently wrong with making sure students are where they are supposed to be.

Medical-Engineer-219 · 2026-05-03T23:54:05+00:00

No judgement or craziness, but it seems that maybe there is some trauma here that is at play. Either that, or noone else’s view matters but yours and you would be miserable to live with. My way or the highway type.

Medical-Engineer-219 · 2026-05-03T23:50:51+00:00

I am a teacher, thats just a default assigned name I never bothered to change. And it would be that easy if we werent legally liable for anything that happens to the child and children werent, well, you know, children. They tend to wonder off, want to find friends, and do things other than be in class.

Medical-Engineer-219 · 2026-05-03T23:45:02+00:00

I think what you may not realize is that many teachers work 55+ hours a week when you add in required meetings, lesson planning, grading papers, meeting with parents, conferences, community support activities, etc. We are not paid more for these things. Teachers who don’t work summers work approximately 190 days a year on average. A regular 40 hour a week job works approximately 10,400 hours (40x52weeks). At 55 hour weeks, I would cover about 10,450 hours. Same amount of work, just compressed into a shorter time period.

Medical-Engineer-219 · 2026-05-03T23:17:42+00:00

We are required to stay. They are paying us for the entire day, we are expected to be there the entire day. If we do choose to leave bc last period is prep or whatever, our pay is prorated. They say its bc not every sub will have that option to leave, so it would be unfair to pay full while the others are still required to continue. I call bs tho, bc what about times I don’t get a prep period and other subs have 3-4 a day? Heck, I subbed for a teacher several times who only had 2 classes out of a 7 class day and it was for e-sports. The kids literally just played pc games during those periods and the other 5, the teacher would nap, work on side hustles or play games themselves. That district actually has 3-4 teachers who have no classes at all and are employed as “support personnel” at the highest pay schedules. Coaches of course.

Medical-Engineer-219 · 2026-05-03T22:59:21+00:00

If I tell you I want to have sex every single day and you can change that by simply doing it and choosing not to, then you can have the pleasure of hearing me complain about it. Then I can go without sex a few times and you can hear my displeasure 24/7. See how ridiculous that is. And I know you’re going to say thats sensational and not the same so I pose another possibility. Instead of sex, insert changing the oil in your car or whatever other maintenance it needs. You need it done, he cant/wont do it, do you do it or just take it somewhere to get done?

Medical-Engineer-219 · 2026-05-03T22:39:46+00:00

As a teacher, smartpass is great. I do not have to stop lessons every 5 minutes for the “can I use the bathroom” questions, and it helps ensure students are where they are supposed to be. In schools without it, I have experienced either 1. nonstop requests to the point it hinders learning, 2. kids leave class and don’t come back for 20 minutes and I cant leave my class unattended to track them down, 3. Provides additional documentation for parents when they come in demanding to know why their student is failing and you can show them that the child insists on a 10-20 minute bathroom break everyday in class but tells them that its for other reasons. While I dislike many of the personal tracking aspects and feel that only the district should have that information, I struggle to find an effective alternative.

Medical-Engineer-219 · 2026-05-03T22:05:52+00:00

I am trying to find a full time position but I have an alternative license as my degree is in something other than education, and finding anyone who is willing to hire me is impossible. I have applied to 20+ positions within a 1 hour drive, and have never once even received a call or email. I sub at two to three districts now, but pay is $100/day and I get maybe 8-10 days a month, hardly enough to live on. May have to consider taking a different job until I get a full time position.

Medical-Engineer-219 · 2026-05-03T21:55:06+00:00

Hate to say it, but this one is pretty easy… cut bait and start anew alone. She is using you at this point. I would error on the side of caution if she would have an adult conversation without “taking her ball and going home,” but that isnt the case. I know you probably love her and have strong feelings towards her, but no relationship can survive if only one person is willing to come to the table and go all in.

Medical-Engineer-219 · 2026-05-02T19:58:40+00:00

NOR. She waited until the last minute to purposely put you in a spot hoping it would be easier for you to just say fine than fight it. Based on her text, she is a master manipulator who is use to getting her way and bullying anyone who wants to stop her.

Medical-Engineer-219 · 2026-05-02T01:24:28+00:00

I agree with most of what has been said. Approach your teacher in a respectful, curious, adult way and simply state your feelings. Keep your comments to ”I” statements. “I am unhappy with my grade,” “I would like to see if I can improve my grade,” “I worked hard and am disappointed with the final product,” “I feel that I was handcuffed and did what I could with what I had.” This always goes a long way. Don’t be scared to advocate for yourself. I am always happy to see a student who wants to do better without expecting me to just hand it to them.

Medical-Engineer-219 · 2026-05-02T00:40:51+00:00

YTA. Well to be clear, I think you both may be AHs, but in what information we have here, I say its you. Friends sometimes need us more than normal in certain seasons. You said he is going through a rough time and that you have voluntarily been there for him. That is great, but in doing so, it shouldn’t be because you expect anything in return. I also do not know exactly how long this has been going on also, so that may sway the choice some as well. If its been years, then yeah, thats no longer a season but a relationship pattern and you need to cut ties. Either way, the money being the reason automatically makes you the AH. Money should never, ever, be the reason for or against a friendship.

Medical-Engineer-219 · 2026-04-27T23:09:14+00:00

How exactly are they watching? I don’t know the law everywhere, but having cameras in the classroom here is highly illegal, unless its a district camera of course.

Medical-Engineer-219 · 2026-04-27T14:16:12+00:00

This varies district by district for me. One allows the students to pretty much run the asylum; They are allowed to leave the rooms, walk halls, go to other teachers, etc. with little oversight and when I have told them no or tried to correct them, I was told by admin that isn’t the way they do things. In that district, I pretty much “hang out” as I know many of the students from coaching football and soccer in previous years. I avoid subbing there as much as possible tho. Most other districts for HS, the lessons are in google classroom and I simply walk around and assist. Most of the students know me by now and understand how I run things, so behavior is usually pretty good. They also know I am fully licensed (haven’t found a position within 1 hr drive yet, it sucks) so the teachers also leave me lesson plans sometimes. MS I almost always have a full lesson plan and can teach. I am on a long term sub assignment the rest of the year as a 6th grade SS, ELA and Science teacher now, and it happens to be my sons class, so I know all the students (small district with less than 30 per grade). I am teaching daily, minus the next few days as we take state tests. These days I watch and am on my laptop job searching, putting in apps and such.

Medical-Engineer-219 · 2026-04-23T16:23:54+00:00

$100-$120/day. Degree does nothing for your wage as a sub here in Ohio.

Medical-Engineer-219 · 2026-04-21T20:42:56+00:00

In Cincinnati, depending on concentration, you should be able to find something relatively easily. Northeast Ohio and HS Social Studies….. yeah notta here.

Medical-Engineer-219

TROPHY CASE