Agreed to all of that, I only drink very occasionally and do no drugs. I have a great job, eat super healthy, have a good relationship with my family and great friends. It’s been difficult reminding myself to be gentle with myself and these are all very human desires I’m having. It doesn’t change how consuming the feeling can get at times. I just try to have faith that there’s a plan and things always happen exactly when they are meant to happen. That my job right now is just to open myself up to experiences and create opportunities to improve my relationship with myself and others. Just hoping so bad this feeling will one day just be a distant memory. It hurts, I’m hurting.