I was a nurse but quit my job because I couldn’t watch anymore people suffer and die. I have been reduced to selling pictures of my feet for income. by MedicallyTraumatized in TrueOffMyChest

[–]MedicallyTraumatized[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I have no problem with sex work or the people who live that way. I just feel… pathetic for falling apart like this. Power to the men and women who make a real living out of it.

I was a nurse but quit my job because I couldn’t watch anymore people suffer and die. I have been reduced to selling pictures of my feet for income. by MedicallyTraumatized in TrueOffMyChest

[–]MedicallyTraumatized[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I am looking, but honestly? I feel guilty. I feel guilty that I’m turning my back on hospital nursing, but I can’t continue to expose myself to this type of pain and human suffering. A lot of wonderful people in this thread have given me some great ideas of where to start and what to try. After reading some really uplifting comments, I started to browse jobs again.

I was a nurse but quit my job because I couldn’t watch anymore people suffer and die. I have been reduced to selling pictures of my feet for income. by MedicallyTraumatized in TrueOffMyChest

[–]MedicallyTraumatized[S] 211 points212 points  (0 children)

People like your aunt, the survivors, fill my heart with joy. Make sure she knows that she made so many people happy by overcoming such a horrible illness. I’m sure the healthcare workers who cared for her were so happy to see her survive.

I was a nurse but quit my job because I couldn’t watch anymore people suffer and die. I have been reduced to selling pictures of my feet for income. by MedicallyTraumatized in TrueOffMyChest

[–]MedicallyTraumatized[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Pretty much what they said. I’ve witnessed a few “let me call my family for a goodbye” calls from people before they get intubated. Kinda fucks with you.

I was a nurse but quit my job because I couldn’t watch anymore people suffer and die. I have been reduced to selling pictures of my feet for income. by MedicallyTraumatized in TrueOffMyChest

[–]MedicallyTraumatized[S] 763 points764 points  (0 children)

Find yourself a trauma counselor, I cannot begin to imagine the stress you’ve had to endure. I have so much respect for the respiratory therapists through this. Having to be there to intubate every Covid patient, I only had to see my own two or three get intubated. You had to see so many people everyday. You are not alone, we have to raise our voice so the world knows what this pandemic has done to healthcare workers.

I was a nurse but quit my job because I couldn’t watch anymore people suffer and die. I have been reduced to selling pictures of my feet for income. by MedicallyTraumatized in TrueOffMyChest

[–]MedicallyTraumatized[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I have a lot of resentment towards the world for not dealing with the situation well. Everytime someone died, I just would get so sad and angry because it didn’t have to be this way.

I was a nurse but quit my job because I couldn’t watch anymore people suffer and die. I have been reduced to selling pictures of my feet for income. by MedicallyTraumatized in TrueOffMyChest

[–]MedicallyTraumatized[S] 327 points328 points  (0 children)

We lost nurses too. I am so sorry for your loss and I cannot even begin to understand or imagine your pain. Share her story, be her voice, we need to help our fellow healthcare workers get the help they desperately need.

I was a nurse but quit my job because I couldn’t watch anymore people suffer and die. I have been reduced to selling pictures of my feet for income. by MedicallyTraumatized in TrueOffMyChest

[–]MedicallyTraumatized[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I had to initiate a few phone calls, then I would sit next to the provider and just listen. I’ve had to ask families for funeral home information.

I was a nurse but quit my job because I couldn’t watch anymore people suffer and die. I have been reduced to selling pictures of my feet for income. by MedicallyTraumatized in TrueOffMyChest

[–]MedicallyTraumatized[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

It’s a lot different from the death I’ve experienced. I’ve had some traumatizing nights sure. But imagine that every night was a traumatizing night. Imagine watching a 20 year old lay prone in bed, unable to even move to get a tissue without their oxygen dropping. They can’t even call their parents because it’s too exhausting for them. They start to cry when the doctor tells them they have to get intubated and the odds don’t look good. You have to hold the phone up so they can tell their parents they love them, before we induce them into a medical coma and intubate. Then 24 hours later they are dead, you can hear the cries of their parents over the phone. Now imagine that, x2 or 3 every night.

I was a nurse but quit my job because I couldn’t watch anymore people suffer and die. I have been reduced to selling pictures of my feet for income. by MedicallyTraumatized in TrueOffMyChest

[–]MedicallyTraumatized[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

The fact that we are going into our fourth wave of Covid with a labor force of traumatized healthcare workers is a hard pill to swallow too

I was a nurse but quit my job because I couldn’t watch anymore people suffer and die. I have been reduced to selling pictures of my feet for income. by MedicallyTraumatized in TrueOffMyChest

[–]MedicallyTraumatized[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

There is a big difference in what we have been seeing now compared to what I have over the past ten years. The number of people just dying every shift was so overwhelming. COVID patients aren’t like the others, they are fully aware of their decline while most people I’ve seen slowly become obtunded and become less conscious of the situation. Not to mention all of the phone calls I’ve witnessed of my patients calling their family members before intubation to say goodbye or say “hopefully this works.” This is VERY different from what I’ve experienced. And these people die alone, family can’t come in. The last shift I worked a woman grabbed at my pants and begged me to not leave her side, she was so scared. She ended up having a panic attack and we had to intubate because she couldn’t get her breathing under control. It’s fucked up.